General Chat

Well, thought Allan, I could always take the soles off and sell them as a nice fish, as for the heels i could use those as a medical curative.

No thanks, thought Allan’s OH. I’m not going anywhere near those.

Ah well, another of Allan's brilliant ideas bit the dust so it was back to the drawing board and possibly back to drawing the dole.

Perhaps with all that drawing he could have followed in his grandfather's footsteps (sans shoes) and become an artist

Allan really did fancy becoming an artist, so dove down into OH capacious bag, and fished out a smock, put on a beret at a jaunty angle, and sorted through the bottom of the bag for a palette and some brushes.

Looking at his reflection Allan was very pleased with himself, all he needed was some paints and he could take a new turn in his adventures. Now what would suit him best............matt or gloss?

Ah, what memories!

Allan once recalled that in his younger days he painted his wife in the nude.

However he had nowhere to keep his brushes so he kept his socks on.

Allan decided to give painting another go. Having got his easel and paints he started to work on perspective.
Funny how small my O H seems when doIng this, thought Allan, She seems so far away...............

When the sun came up it dawned on him.

What an idiot!

He was looking through the wrong end of the telescope.

His OH was much closer than she appeared, but even at the supposedly safe distance she appeared to be, she still had a wild manic look about her that did not bode well.

Allan wondered what could be troubling her.

Surely she hadn't developed the ability to read his thoughts about..........

No, that portion of what passed for his mind was securely under lock and key.

Perhaps her old stomach troubles had returned.....

Allan wondered why he could hear Gene Krupa.

Was it OH's tummy rumbling, or his heart beating in his chest?

OH did not look pleased.................

. Was that because it also sounded like coconuts

No, the coconuts had long been discarded.

It was a pony and trap coming along the road, with a little old man sitting atop, cracking his whip. He was going at a fair old gallop, when he saw Allan and his Lady Wife, pulled up, and said.........................

Do you know the way to..................

the local farrier?

Allan mishead and thought he said furrier. 'Strange ,' thought Allan 'why would this old geezer need a place that made fur coats?'

However, full of bluster, Allan said that he did and could guide him there, if they could have a lift in the trap.

How foolish of them, because a trap can have more than one meaning.............

...so the little old man opened the lift.

the little old man's wife, a little old lady, pulled back the gate of the lift, and Allan and his OH entered....................

Allan was at that moment in need of a lift having felt a bit down all day.

He probably would have felt the same way if he had been feeling a bit of lead, but life was too soft these days.

Besides, life was full of ups and downs; so pausing only to draw a deep breath, and a quick sketch of the surrounding countryside, Allan allowed the lift door to close.

Only then did he remember that line from the song 'Hotel California' 'This could be heaven, or this could be hell'

Too late..........

Well, they both knew which one they wanted - but it was taking a long time to get there.

Perhaps they were trying to go up the down staircase?

Stairs in a lift - what universe is Allan living I. ;-) ;-) ;-)