General Chat

Since his wife had run off taking her copious bag of goodies with her, Allan had to think hard, mind you, thinking had always been hard for him.

He remembered that somewhere in the vicinity there was a long abandoned nuclear power station.

If he could find it and reach the core he could always remove one of the rods and try his hand at nuclear fission. He might only catch an electric eel but that would provide AMPle food for his needs as well as acting as a very gentle night-light as the remains glowed gently on.

However, it was back to reality as he helped himself to another of these rather tasty mushrooms and continued his conversation with John the Divine.

Unfortunately these mushrooms were giving him strange dreams.

Allans dreams were of him eating cheese - but there were no cows, goats or sheep on his island.....

Poor Allan has been traveling for so long almost a year that he quite forgot about some itmes stuffed in his pockets for later/just in case. One of which was a small package of cheese and one of crackers. Now as you can imagine both were rather crushed and old to say the least....not unlike our hero in this story and yet still so very comforting. Mushrooms and cheese and crackers would be a intersting meal to say the least.

Allan sorted through the debris of the crackers, as well as adjusting his crushed nuts, and decided that the crackers must have been of the cream variety; at least that was what Jacob told him when he (Jacob) demanded their return.

Now if Allan could just locate some water, with a little ingenuity and a lot of imagination, he could prepare a delicious cream of mushroom and cheese soup.

John the Divine just shook his head sadly. Even he had never had visions quite like that.

Allan was thinking that if his soup was a success he would apply to be on Masterchef Australia. But.........

He much preferred My Kitchen Rules, besides now that the old line up of MasterChef judges has been dissolved the programme would never be the same, whatever that was.

Having consulted his trust cook book come dairy, sorry, diary, he realised that he and his now missing OH had now been drifting aimlessly from one imaginary location to another for almost a year now.

The lands the had visited, the sights they had seen, the foods they had eaten; If they ever got back to reality Allan would certainly have to mention this to his good friend Thomas Cook.

Boy, those mushrooms really were delicious.

Yes almost a year and yet still no postcard sent to any of us what is wrong with Allan and his OH :-)

Allan cooking skills were amazing he could make anything taste like chicken except ironically chicken!! it always seemed to taste like.........

Greasy frogs' legs, which were an acquired taste, and the way his OH cooked them left Allan hopping mad!

Happy Anniversary Allan trip...may it go on and on and be crazier and sillier as the days go by :-)

It was blindingly obvious what was wrong with Allan lately. He'd had his protein with everything tasting like Chicken except the Chicken...He'd had his questionable mushrooms...but had he had his greens?? NO.....Allan wasn't regular on the threads with his travels....what to do.....would coconuts help he wondered as his mind went back to the happy days of the young lady with the lovely bunch of coconuts......

Allan wasn’t sure whether he wanted to discuss his lack of greens and his regularity. ;-)

He would need his OH to explain.......

There really was no need to raise the issue of Allan's regularity, as greens or no greens, he was as regular as clockwork. Every morning, seven o'clock, on the dot!

The problem was that he didn't wake up until nine.

Ever since having to attend speech therapy as a young child, Allan had always been taught to open his vowels correctly.

That had sorted out his problem of being tongue-tied, next they had to work on his dyslexia :-S

:-D

Allan had been in one spot for so long we've forgotten where he is!!

He was grateful he wasn't back home as it seems there's a small heatwave coming in which he was fine with missing we'd guess.

He thought about going to Venice but then had a sinking feeling as he didn't like wading in the water so much these days.....

Ah, the sights, and even the sites, of Italy.

Never mind Venice, what about the Leaning Tower of Pizza?

Back in his original home country his favourite musical genre was Blackpool Rock.

But enough of these childish puns and pathetic jokes, which really should have appeared on a different thread, speaking of which, this one has now become the quintessential tangled web we weave.

Alan took the webbing and fashioned a seat sling, attached it to a wire, and decided to abseil down the Blackpool Tower. He reckoned he could crack on that it was for charity, pocket the moolah and GET HOME.

Gingerly, he threw his leg over the parapet, it was surely windy up here.

The breeze blew through Alan hair, making him all the more windswept and interesting....

.... as he let go with one hand in the hope he could catch his hair as it blew past.

He managed to catch two of the rabbits which had been nesting on top of his head.

Many people had asked him about this, and as Allan explained, from a distance they looked like hares.

In fact this whole thing of abseiling down the Blackpool Tower, like breeding leverets, was a hare raising experience.

If he could conquer his fear of heights and learn how to sail an ab correctly he might even go to Paris one day and give them a right eyeful.

why was he wearing a kilt again??? :-D

So that he could once again utter that old joke about the Scotsman who, when asked what was worn under his kilt replied, 'Nothing, it's all in perfect working order'

Or the even older joke about the Scotsman who washed his kilt and couldn't do a fling with it.

Then again he had always liked tartan dresses rather than them wearing shorts, but we are not going down that path!

Canny Scot or not, Allan was beaming as he'd just discovered he had an unexpected 2 cents...

...Now how could he grow this into a bigger amount ?

Stupidity has its own rewards, and Allan felt well rewarded with his two cents.

Now he had cash, and a bit of plastic in his back pocket, the world was at his feet.

Mind you, the plastic was the remains of a recyclable bag that he had forgotten about.

In Allan's case, stupidity knows no bounds.