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Aunt Sally.

'Worzeeeeeel' screamed Aunt Sally. Very annoyed to have things thrown at her.

Running to her rescue came Worzel, Saucy Nancy, The Crowman, Sargeant Beetroot, Mrs Bloomsbury-Barton other assorted characters.

Suddenly Allan and OH realised they were on Scatterbrook Farm.

"Now how did that 'appen?" thought Allan...then he shook his head and remembered anything can happen on Allans travels.
"Thank goodness I didn't book with Thomas Cook" thought Allan.."Then I'd really be in a pickle"

Allan wisely decided none too soon to leg it....but speed wasn't what he was famous for........

OH was not very happy with how Saucy Nancy was giving Allan the eye. She stormed up to Nancy, turned her around and gave her a push. As we know, Nancy is on wheels, and trundled along the path into the pigsty. Aunt Sally gave a snort, and decided to show Allan and OH the direction to the main road.

Allan decided it wasn't the yellow brick road, but something of a darker variety....

They stumbled on, not knowing where they were going, nor which way was up.

Allan suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly turned his head to the right (it actually had a left-hand thread) and there at the side of the road was a grin, just a grin.

Ever so slowly the grin metamorphosed into a pink and purple striped cat which gave him a wink and said 'Of course, we're all mad here, and I'm no exception!'

Just before he fainted, Allan remembered thinking that this was a novel experience for him and his wife

Allan opened his eyes and saw the cat sitting on his chest.

But it was not the cat from the Gorge. It was Bagpuss.

Two black beady eyes also stared down at him, Professor Yaffle, Madeleine the ragdoll, and the mice from the Marvellous Mechanical Mouse Organ.

Emily was busy unlocking the shop, and took Allan and OH into the gloom.

Once his eyes got accustomed to the gloom Allan realised there were racks and racks of outfits.

He could be a doctor, a spaceman, a fireman, a business man, a farmer - all sorts of things.

Whilst he decided his OH was distracted by the pigeons in the block of flats opposite.

Indeed waving furiously was Long Distance Clara.

Will Long Distance Laura have room for a couple of Hitchhikers or.......

will this crazy journey take another twist into the weird and wonderful minds of the Genes members :-D

Allan decided he needed help ..... and who else to call but.....

Dr Frank Einstein who was then serving as a Member of Parliament for the Monster Raving Loony Party.

Nothing much changes in the UK political scene except that rather than just a single party, the entire 'democratic government' other wise known as the Mother of all Parliaments, has been taken over by the Raving Loonys and to hell with the express wishes of majority of its citizens

*Note* Loonys has been spelt that way deliberately so as not to confuse it with the word loonies, which I understand is what the new Canadian dollar is known as :-S

'Now then,' began Dr Frank, with his thumbs in his waistcoat pockets 'listen close. I say what I like, and I like what I say!'

Allan and OH felt the cold hand of dread resting on their shoulders. There had been enough twists and turns in this tale of woe without listening to Dr Frank.

They turned on their heels, and went off double quick.

As they walked along the road a mist descended, which quickly turned into a fog. A real pea souper some might say. The yellow haze of the gas mantle lamps did little to dissuade them they had entered a time warp again...……………..

..... it looked as though there was some sort of creature coming towards wearing, what looked like, a long black cape....

.... it can only be Count Duckula......

Allan thought that living in the Land of Oz was weird, what with houses likely to fall out of the skies at any moment, and the possibility of being attacked and savaged by drop-bears, but this cartoon land was something else.

What further Comedy of Horrors (my apologies to Willy Shakespeare) awaited the intrepid hero and heroine?

As the light improved and the figure came closer Allan realised the figure was too tall to be Count Duckula. It could only be.........

The Jolly Green Giant

(Cue the canned laughter ;-))

The Giant scooper Allan and OH up into his enormous hand, and trudged back to his castle.

Allan then realised that massive bird in the corner was the Goose who laid the Golden Egg. If only they could manage to acquire one, sell it, then they could get home.

Allan’s OH started scrabbling around in her capacious bag in the hope of finding some magic beans.

A bean stalk was just what they needed to escape the castle with the Goose.

At last in the depths, she found some beans, but they didn't look quite right.... Ah...now they remembered, they were the special coffee beans they'd acquired on their travels.
....not likely to produce the required escape.

But yes, there they were,right in the bottom of the bag, 5 lovely proper beans.

Would they still have their magic powers?