General Chat

BREAKFAST MENU FOR THE ADMIRAL, THE NEW DOC? SECURITY DAVE THE CROC HATER AND PAYING PASSENGERS. Fresh Mango or Pineapple juice Cereal of your choice "Cordon Bleu" (Crumbed ham and cheese fried together) with sliced tomato and scrambled eggs. or kippers (real ones) Tea or Coffee Bread or Toast with an assortment of Jams. Fresh Fruit No "Cordon Bleu" for the crew and brothel. You can have old fashioned cheese slices and ham with your scrambled eggs. LADY ANNE, Your girls know the drill by now. Message for the assistant cook. Please make sure that all dirty dishes are returned to the Galley before you retire. GOOD NIGHT. FAT LADY, COOK

Mommylonglegs! You are doing a fabulous job on the Admin. side here: please let Lindy, our Fat Cook have a copy of the Crew/Job list asap, as she is confused as to who is crew or paying passenger and if they ARE crew, what they should be doing to keep this ship afloat. David, so glad you're around: (makes you sound like that ad. for insurance doesn't?) But it's good to know you are there looking after things. Could you please donk, or get rid of those camels , either by throwing them overboard(don't think they can swim!) or off load them on to the dock. They are causing havoc and they stink! I don't think you should set Boris on to them, there would be blood and guts everywhere. Margaret is getting quite shirty about them being in her garden, so asap, thank you. Breakfast sound delicious Lindy! Can I just have fruit, juice and some rolls or croissants, and a pot of tea please: you do really put up some lovely Menus, perhaps when we get back home, you should open a Restaurant next! (The mind boggles what we'd do Madam Anne's lot!) REMEMBER EVERYONE, We shall be sailing onward tomorrow: I hope everyone gets back on board and is ready to sail by Mid-Day tomorrow.

Cook, I received my orders to be assistant cook. I went to the galley to help you. You were passed out on the rice wine vinegar. I took the initiative to feed the guests. Deb P.S. I am an assistant COOK not a dish pit bunny. You had better talk to the admiral about finding a new dishwasher or there will be a mutiny!

My next song by request is "I don't like spiders and snakes" follwed by a little ditty for Boris "Beast of Burden"

New Doc???? what new Doc? What makes you think there is a new Doc? I am also getting confused. I thought we had all got jobs sorted out! SPEAK TO EVERYBODY TOMORROW. I am going to have a nice drop of Brnady (I hope) and go to my cabin now. Goodnight!

Admiral Dorothy I think the Camels have been disposed of, but i'll go and have a look if they are still around i get the hump well and truly, they will be dumped overboard post haste. On my way be afraid David ( security )

Oh thank you David, I'm glad those camels have been dispposed of. By the way what has happened to Frank and Bruno, and Frankie, Madam Anne's dog. I hope they are safe and well!

Mommylonglegs! Don't understand your message

Ahh! peace on the ship. I've just done the last karaoke song for the evening. Thanks for all your kind words regarding my voice! Cook is sleeping I presume, it's either her or Boris snoring. I was going to prep for breakfast, but I'm scared in case she shouts at me for doing so. I have to wait for her orders. Another 5 hours 'til breakfast, so I'll just sit here with a nice bottle of wine. Is anyone else onboard awake.

*Yawn* Morning all, Isn't it time we had a lifeboat drill? I'm very good at getting in and out of the lifeboat now. Security - I left my red boots outside the cabin to be cleaned and they've disappeared. Please look into this matter with some urgency. Gwynne PS Anyone know how to stop an elf snoring - short of elficide?

Dr Longlegs - the new doc was asked to be Doc in the panto - one of the seven dwarfs - think she's just doing some serious method acting! lol Did report for jabs and interview but didn't get either.

I've waited for Cook to show up to give me my instructions. She must still be sleeping it off. I'm off to bed now (soon). See you all for afternoon tea! Assistant cook / karaoke singer

Morning all, My what a great night sleep I had, think it was down to the excersise last night. Gwynne - I believe you have a problem with snoring elfs, I do have a solution. I found that a wooden mallet is quite suffice to deter to situation (this has been used as a remedy several times). Hi Ho Hi Ho, Its off to work we go. Just practising my Dopey for the panto. My legs are trembling, my knees are weak, a rich rich husband is what I seek. Lady M (marmalade, not muck)

Hi Joanne, Thanks for the tip. I stick a mallet up his nose tonight to see if that stops him. Any chance of a coffee, cook? Gwynne

No Gwynne, You cant go shoving the mallet up his nose as thats not a very nice thing to do. You need to stand over him whilst he is asleep, swing the mallet in your hands and give him an almighty donk on the forehead. Works a treat. Lady M

Almost forgot to sing my "karaoke wake up song" --- "Good bye Ruby Tuesday" --------Are you all awake yet, and why is that cat howling? Or is that Boris? As we set sail today for lands unknown, can someone wake me up when we arrive in our next port of call? Sorry about the coffee, but I can't serve without permission from "She who must be obeyed" (Head Cook)

Ah, I see, Joanne, Legolas is not happy about that. He doesn't like the idea of being donked. So he has locked himself in the wardrobe again. Still, as long as he isn't singing and wailing I can live with that. You haven't seen my red boots, have you? Gwynne

Hi Deborah, I'm afraid it's the elf singing. A coffee may quieten him down. I promise not to tell the cook. Please. Knock loudly on the door when you bring it as I am wearing earmuffs. Gwynne

I may as well get into trouble for ten pots of coffee rather than the one. I will have a secret coffee/tea wagon on the upper deck next to the pool for those who are gasping. It will be hidden by a large red tent. I have included some toast and muffins. This should tide you over till she gets her a** out of bed. Do I get overtime as my shift ended hours ago? Deb Assistant Cook/ karaoke singer

Good Morning Everyone Auditions for Snowhite are now open again for 1 hour We have The Queen Sleepy Dopey Doc and Grumpy Please come and see me if you would like a part Steph EM