General Chat

LW I think that sometimes by writing things down we make sense to ourselves. Hope it was helpful to you to be able to write that down and know that somebody would read it and empathise with you. Hope you are able to turn things around.

Yes this thread is great as I am sure carole knows and it is good that people can read, know there are others in the same boat even if they don't want to comment.

Hi Hazel, you know you can always send anyone you empathise with a pm if you want to talk about personal stuff. When a problem is wrote down I can look at it from a new perspective and it does help. Or no need to talk personal stuff, just having friends on here has helped lift me, hopefully others too. I certainly see a big difference in me now, to when this thread first started. And having the support of friends here every day backs up any doubts.

Had news of a second friends death on Monday. She had gone out with her husband and he wanted a hair cut. She said she would go to her friends for coffee, while he had the hair cut. Our friend told her friend she felt unwell and could she have a glass of water. She dropped down dead. What a way to go.

Thanks you guys for listening.

LW

You are welcome Hazel

Carole, well at least no pain but what a shock for her friend and her husband. How sad. Was she very old?

Mother Update- Things seem to being going down hill rapidly since i last posted.

It turn out that mother had a fall of tues night and couldnt get up so stayed there all night knowing that the district nurse would be coming in on wed morning. District nurse arrived as did her GP the social worker and his colleague. Had to call an ambulance to get her up from floor which they did and instead of taking her to hospital put her in her arm chair and left her there! Social worker went off to arrange so respite care and GP etc went home leaving mother sitting in her chair unable to get up and move. Mother called a friend to ask her to help her pack a bag as she couldnt get upstairs. Her friend arrive about 2pm packed her bag etc and sat and waited and waited for couple of hours by which time mother needed a wee but there was no way her friend could lift her and her only toilet is upstairs so the friend rang the social worker who just said he didnt know what to do but had arranged a taxi to take mother to the care home.

The friend then had to explain to the social worker that mother could not walk therefore there was no way she could get in a taxi she needed a wheelchair . After dealing with social worker there was the urgent problem of mother needing to pee so the only solution they could find was to shove towels underneath her and let her pee that way.

Eventually the transport arrived at 6pm and she went of to a care home miles away from where she lives and her friends and own GP.

Realising that neither me or my sister had heard form mother for nearly 2 weeks we had desperately been trying to ring her even more so after the naked incident on sunday. I literally ranger her 20 times on tuesday and never once did she answer so when on wed afternoon i rang ans she answered the phone i was very relieved only spoke to her briefly as she said she was going back into respite care and that she would update me when she knew where she was going. I noticed that her speech was very slurred and when i ranger the later on the same day as i had no heard anything i had to ask her to repeat several thing as i just could not understand because her speech was so slurred.

to cut a very long story short the GP at the nursing home was not happy with the fact that mother could walk so sent her to the hospital for x-rays/assessments and last i knew she was being kept in over night.

Her own GP thinks she has more than likely has a minor stroke which would account for the sudden deterioration/confusion/strange behaviour but the social worker was still on about sending her home again!

Now kids have gone to school and house is quiet going to ring hospital and see if i can find out what is happening

Claire, let's hope that this will initiate some sort of positive action and that they don't just send her home. I wonder how the social worker would react if it was his/her mother? However, old people can be very devious and it may be that your Mum is very clever at not telling them everything. I do hope for her sake and for your peace of mind that they sort things out properly.

Claire sounds similar to what happened to my aunt before Christmas. She fell, and spent the night on the floor. Her brother found her next day and couldn't get her up off the floor so called an ambulance. They admitted her to hospital. She was very confused and we were told she had hypothermia. She was telling us she could see steam coming from the ceiling and all sorts! She went into a coma for a few days, we were told she was dying. Then while I was visiting she slightly opened her eyes, and started to talk very quietly. I thought she had had a slight stroke, her face looked a little lop sidded. She got stronger but continued to talk daft. We were told she had a UTI. This can cause confusion, I thought it was due to her medication but infact she wasn't taking any! We asked for a scan which they did and and they found no sign of a stroke. But she had phnumonia. She was kept in hospital until about three weeks ago, my uncles and I found her a care home and she is settling in there nicely now. I felt the same about my aunt as you do your mum. What will people think why didn't her family do something to get her out of there. Why didn't the social workers do more. You know what you can't! I learnt that. If the person you want to help doesn't want it you can't do anything. I stopped visiting my aunt I couldn't sit in her dirty house it smelt from her missing the comode, the walls were so damp that made another smell, the dust was years of not being cleaned up. No hot water and aunt couldn't even wash her self properly. Couldn't get upstairs let alone into the bath for years. Now your mum is in hospital you might get more help from social workers as they will have to asses whether it is safe to let your mum go home after discharge. They will have to make sure she is capable of getting herself a drink and some food. That she can manage to get to the toilet. You ned to tell them she can't go back home. They will want to know if she owns her own house to see if it can be sold to pay for her to live in a care home. Does she have any savings? ( Dont tell me, it's it what they will ask). My aunts care home is £1600 a month. Aunt has savings so we don't have to rush to sell her house. But we need to empty it if she isn't going back, or she will have to be paying council tax as well. Is your mother of sound mind? Could you get power of atourney, then you can see that she gets care in other ways. A cleaner going in, meals delivered. Shopping taken in. You can't be there to do it living so far away. Hope you get some ideas from this xx

Can I just tell about Senile Delinquent?
He has had this cold that has laid us all low and spent several days in bed wheezing like a set of bagpipes,as did we when we had it.He had the doctor and anti-biotics too.
Poor sick old man didn't want to go for a fairly important hospital appointment that was better not postponed so we arranged with the home carers for him to have a bit of a lie-in until close on to the ambulance arriving.
He was hoisted out of bed,washed and dressed and put into his wheelchair.
It took abit of time to get the size of it again but he rolled off out to the kitchen and put his washing in and washed up his cup.

By the time the ambulance came he had stopped wheezing and was ready to drive himself out to the vehicle with his mate.
It seems he was rolling around the hospital like he does it every day and came home to get some more of his domestic duties organized.

The poor weedy,sick old man in the bed that morning had turned back into the One Hand and Wheels we all know and tolerate.It was like watching a caterpillar turn into a slug!

I think this helps vindicate my idea that getting them doing is half the battle with stroke victims!

Sharron you are awfull!! But I'm sure you are right. Bless your old man.
I felt rotten Wednesday morning before my alarm went off for work. I got up, went to the loo and back to bed. it was oh's day off and I had woken him. I told him I felt rotten but got no sympathy. The alarm went off ten mins later, and I got up, went for my shower and slowly got dried. Downstairs I had my weetabix and coffee, continued to get ready for work. Two imodium for the first time in ages. But I did feel better after the shower. I was quiet at work and felt worn out but I did a days work and now it's over. Pay day I'll be pleased I went!!

Carole, I am sorry to hear of your friend's sudden death, how awful for her husband and her friend and all her family and friends.

Claire, it doesn't sound as if your Mum's social worker is very good, you could maybe ask to speak to his/her senior and tell them that you have been saying your mother isn't well enough to live alone but being ignored and that her s.worker is obviously not very aware of her needs if he could not see that she could not walk and leaving her in a chair unattended was stupid.
I hope now she is back in hospital she will be helped to feel a bit better and properly assessed so she can go into fulltime care perhaps and you can get rid of the house, altho it will take a while to sort out at least you did a lot last year, wasn't it so better now than later on when things get even worse again.

Sharron, glad your 'charge' recovered so well, he really is quite remarkable, and so are you!

Lizx

SPIRITUAL WARRIOR
NATIVE AMERICA INDIAN SAYING I CAN RELATE TO COMPLETLY



Life offers us the opportunity to become a Spiritual Warrior.
A warrior is one who bravely goes into those dark areas within
themselves to ferret out the Truth of their being.
It takes great courage, stamina and endurance to
become a Spiritual Warrior.


The path is narrow, the terrain rough and rocky.
You will walk alone: through the dark caves,
up those steep climbs and through the dense thick forest.
You will meet your dark side. The faces of fear, deceit, and
sadness all await your arrival.


No one can take this journey but you.
There comes a time, in each of our lives,
when we are given the choice to follow this path.
Should we decide to embark on this journey,
we can never turn back.... Our lives are changed forever
On this journey, there are many different places we can
choose to slip into and hide. But the path goes on.
The Spiritual Warrior stays the course, wounded at times,
exhausted and out of energy. Many times, the Warrior will
struggle back to their feet to take only a few steps before
falling again.


Rested, they forge on,
continuing the treacherous path.
The journey continues. The Spiritual Warrior
stays the course. Weakened, but never broken.
One day, the battle, loneliness and desperate fights are over.
The sun breaks through the clouds; the birds begin to sing
their sweet melodies. There is a change in the energy.
A deep change within the self.


The warrior has fought the courageous fight.
The battle of the dark night of the soul is won.
New energy now fills the Warrior.
A new path is now laid before them.
A gentler path filled with the inner-knowing
of one who has personal empowerment.


With their personal battle won, they are filled with joy.
A new awareness that they are one with the Spirit beams
as they go forth to show others the way.
They are not permitted to walk the path for others.
They can only love, guide and be a living example
of the Truth of their being.

Native Indians spoke a lot of sense, I love to read about them. When we were in the states a few years ago we visited Mesa Verde and I loved it.

Hi everyone.
I have just read your messages and you all seem to be hitting such bad spots just now.
I have nothing good to tell you or any advice to give. If we were all in the same room, we could chat and laugh and be as happy as we like. Typing is not so easy is it?

Ah well... I too am in a bit of a state... my lovely chair has packed up!
The man was coming today.... but didn't, so now he is coming tomorrow. That is JUST TO LOOK AT IT.
It seems that what he THINKS is wrong, is something which cost £200.... before VAT, and labour!!!
I am not a happy bunny!!

I wish for us all to be happy tomorrow, and I am so sorry for all of you have REAL problems. I hope they sort themselves out happily for you all.
Speak soon, when I have something *bright* to offer us all.
God bless.
Deanna XXXXX

Hope your chair is not as expensive as he seems to think Deanna and that it can be fixed quickly.

Hello to everyone, especially those struggling with their own problems or those of elderly relatives.
I am not sure what I want- to stay as long as possible in my own home, I think. However, being in an apartment may cause it's own problems.
Hope your chair can be fixed easily Deanna, without too much expense.
I'm not sure I agree about all being in a room together compared to typing. In a social situation I tend not to talk about my problems. It is so much easier on a message board where we are somewhat anonymous. What do others think?

Hugs to those who need them; and touch those who are dwn, keep in touch. To me it seems better to share than shrink into a hole and say nothing. I think. xx Colin

Hi C. sorry I haven't replied to your email, been a bit het up lately.
If you find the right apartment it will let you know you are supposed to be there, otherwise maybe stay put a little longer.

Deanna, sorry you were let down over the chair, hope it is not as expensive as suggested when the chap finally appears. I still keep picturing you legs akimbo trying to get out of it, sorrryyy lol

Now seriously eedjit, can you really think of us all in the same room chatting, no one would get a word in when we two start lol

take care, love to all, off to bed now, I just came back down to send a message to a friend or several, as I couldn't get on here very much yesterday.


Lizx
Snow forecast for later in the week, quite a bit, why couldn't it have come on Sunday lunchtime so the dope got stuck miles away lol It was so nice to have the house to myself and could have done with a week of peace, it didn't last long, grumpy didn't get on well at work Mon am so came home in a strop and sulked in his recliner all afternoon and evening. I don't have a recliner, have to make do with a 12 year old sofa with tired cushions!

Liz, I was looking a LONG way down the track I hope. At the moment I can still get up the stairs with two or three "green" reusable shopping bags of groceries. Puff pant wheeze.
I have a new pooter. It's a laptop but I don't intend carting it about with me. Now I have hours of fun sorting out how to use it.
The biggest annoyance so far is that M---soft in its wisdom has decided not to include Outlook or Outlook Express with Office 2007.
I can get mail from my provider website as webmail, but I haven't worked out yet how I keep emails or how to enter my address book. As I said, hours of fun.
Again, hello all my message board friends. Colin.

Can you get windows mail C, I have Vista and windows mail and it works fine.

Hello Ann, I have Windows Mail somewhere on the system I just have not found it yet. I was going to get Outlook, but baulked at the price ($167, from memory). Office 2007 didn't cost me that much.