General Chat

'And now No 1, The Love Affair with Everlasting Love'......so what do you think Arnold?

'Woof, woof'

Allan had a funny feeling in his water, not only were they lost on the ocean, but also lost in time...................

Time to go into the bag and sort out a pair of flares........

....and there they were, right in the bottom of the bag.... brown Crimpelene.

Allan tried them on.

'Yep,' thought Allan. 'Goes very nicely with the kipper tie, and correspondence shoes. Now, what goes with it, a paisley shirt.'


OH, shuddered, but gamely clambered into a mini dress with op-art patterns along the hem. Who knows, Johnny Walker may be around.


Thinking OH meant whiskey, Allan held out a glass that he found at the bottom of the bag.

The glass turned out to be a crystal ball.

Allan wondered whether Merlin was now walking with a limp.

However, there was no future in having such thoughts unless he wanted to invoke the wrath of the mystical RR'r.

So, dressed like some rejects of the late 1960's early 1970's, Allan and his wife set out to search the ship for some signs of life

Well Allan and OH were certainly Dancing In The Streets, or to be more accurate Dancing With The Captain.

'We cant move this hulk' Captain said 'but we can give you one of the lifeboats, and maybe you can find some other mug, erm, some other passing boat to give you a lift.'

Thus saying, Allan and OH settled themselves into the dinghy and were lowered over the side......

Allan wasn't too sure about the name of the dinghy, 'The good ship lollipop'

He was hoping more for, 'The Good Ship Venus 'and he wasn't at all enamoured with that crewman with an albatross around his neck. He looked like a really ancient mariner.

Allan wished that his wife had not decided to wear her Opium perfume

True Opium is a heady perfume, enough to distract anyone.

However, Allan's thoughts were taken on another course when a little girl started tap dancing along the edge of the dinghy, curls bouncing merrily.

Allan reached for a paper bag.....

And threw up. Too much sun? Too much alcohol?

Whatever the cause Allan knew that his imagination was running amok.

Allan wondered if there was a Temple nearby, hopefully not as close as the apparition before him, where there was a man of the cloth, even if it was only a loin cloth, who could exorcise this sprite, although to be honest she looked as if she was in the process of exercising herself.

As luck would have it....well Allan luck anyway..there was a temple nearby....the temple of doom......now how did that land up here thought Allan...and I'm not dressed correctly...he searched frantically in OH copious bag......

Allan fished out a leather jacket, and pair of khaki trousers, beige shirt, a brown fedora and a bullwhip.

OH swooned. She had a secret fancy for Indie.

Now if they could only swipe the golden idol, sell it, they could get home....

what could possibly go wrong.....

Nothing at all!

Indie Allan pulled up the collar of his jacket and strode manfully over to OH and swept her up in his arms.

'Home' he cried.

OH wiped his tears.................

and her nose, on the sleeve of his jacket.

This was becoming something of a habit recently and had earned Allan the nickname of greensleeves

All they had to do now was find their way out of the Temple of Gloom, find a backer and turn their recent adventures into a film.

Their future would be secure

Hang on....when did Allan become a Matinee hero?? :-D
I always thought of him more as a Fabio rather than Indiana Jones but hey ho.....where were we....

How to get out of the Temple of Gloom....why find the exit of course.....looking in OH copious bag Allan found what he thought might be a map of the Temple....unfortunately it was a map of......

the London Underground....

Allan stared at it with horror. New lines since he last saw one.

Strangely enough there was a line called Crossrail. Most people knew that it was not open yet. Most people call it the Ghost Line.

Now if they could catch a Ghost Train, they might get out of there...………..

However, the ghost train had long ago fallen off the bridge together with many fine comedic actors such as Arthur Askey and Richard Murdoch.

So the light at the end of the tunnel from the Temple of Gloom could really be daylight and not an approaching train, or it could be one of those famed booby-traps for which such Temples are known.

The light could well be a luminescent stone dislodged by walking on the wrong step. These stones would come rolling down an incline and flatten all in their path.

The Temple of Gloom was really ancient, as were the rolling stones.

The incline not only served as a conduit for the stones but also as wheelchair access for the stoned.....sorry, stones.

True to the plot of Ghost Train, Allan and OH were indeed stranded. Not on a railway station, but in a tunnel.

Suddenly they felt a slight breeze and rumbling.

The rumbling got louder, and the breeze stronger, until they realised that there was a train hurtling towards them.

Allan and OH flattened themselves against the wall of the tunnel, and ghostly figures looked out of the windows as it trundled past.

OH swiftly pulled out her parasol and hooked onto the end of the ancient train.

By a terrific feat of strength they both hauled themselves onto the train.

As they walked along the end carriage they saw.....

Harry Potter.

Oh no! They had inadvertently caught the Hogwarts Express.

As Allan and his wife had never seen any of the films, nor read any of the books, they had no idea what would happen next.

(A bit like this thread, really)

I think it means another alternate reality. :-S :-D

Both sides of Allan's brain agreed that they knew nothing about Harry Potter, Harry Worth or Harry Fowler. The only Harry who had a high profile now was Mr Rednapp.

Allan felt the spirit of this Harry start to inhabit him, and said those immortal words to OH.

'Sandra, a dollop of roly poly with custard if you please.'