General Chat

No but her petticoat was yellow, and her little cap was green, as pretty as a picture.

Suitably attired, they trudges East.....

But beware that capacious bag being waved in the air. Because that girl in the yellow and green, not only smoked cheroots but indulged in quite a bit of kissing!

Allan had no idea what the occupants in his head were talking about so he decided to ignore them.

Still journeying eastwards they paused only to enable his wife to put on a yasmak, as and it had started to yas down.

Allan decided to wear his pith helmet in case the weather got worse

One should always travel with a Pith helmet and a pith pony....that speech problem Allan had was sometimes an issue :-D

Eastwards they trudged until they reached a sand dune....go around or go over??

They decided to bunker down for the night and make a decision in the morning

Pulling a sheet of canvas from the capacious bag, Allan and OH made a bivvy and settled down for the night.

Night fell, and dented the outside of the canvas. The temperature dropped too, and made a dent on the other side.


As the sun rose the next morning, they awoke to find they were in sight of an Oasis. Gamely they marched on to the watering hole, to fill up their canteens. As they approached the Oasis they heard a lot of shouting and swearing, twas Liam and Noel being their usual friendly selves.


'Not much Morning Glory around here' thought Allan.

'What's the Story, Lads?' Allan said to the brothers, they turned and replied......

'She's got a lovely bunch of coconuts,'

And sure enough, there was the young lady who had turned up at most places on their odyssey.

What could this portend, or in the young lady's case, pretend?

And in a flash the girl with the coconuts disappeared. The heat of the mid-day sun was making them see a mirage.

Sporting a white parasol OH set her best foot forward, and the other followed. Allan tucked a tea-towel into the back of his topi, and they trudged eastward again.

'Maybe if we use some of this water, and our bucket and spades, we can make a sandcastle' said Allan deleriously. OH rolled up her parasol, clouted Allan, and unfurled it again.

Under the burning sun, they saw a land-rover in the distance, one person at the steering wheel, the other three pushing.

'Reminds me of Ice Cold in Alex, said Allan......

...but it just turned out to be the frosty silence from hisOH.

To pass the time Allan started to draw in the sand. His best plan was to find a couple of pieces of wood and with a pair of his O H,s bloomers as a sail he could make a sand yacht to speed them on their way.

As his mind wandered, Allan thought of the Foreign Legion which he thought was beautiful joke or, as the French say, a beau geste.

Suddenly a French jet fighter appeared and zoomed over the horizon with the roar of jet engines at full throttle.

Scared at first, Allan relaxed as he realised that it was only a Mirage.

Allan got back to digging n the sad for wood for his land yacht.

All he’s come up with so far is a couple of buried lolly sticks.

As it had been Allan,s birthday in his other life, his OH took the sticks and rubbed them together. When they were alight she let Allan blow them out.

The smoke from the two lolly sticks alerted a rescue plane, who zoomed overhead and dropped a canvas parcel.

'Brilliant' thought Allan, 'food supplies, a map, and some means of getting out of here'

Allan and OH rushed to open the parcel, and as they did, a loud hissing noise came from inside. An inflatable dinghy...….

and a puncture repair kit.

The actual hissing came from an extremely annoyed snake whose afternoon siesta had been violently interrupted by the rescue parcel landing on its head.

Deciding that discretion was the better part of valour, Allan and his wife backed slowly away and decided to look for a genuine ship of the desert complete with a set of bricks

:-D :-D

Strangely enough camels trained or otherwise were hard enough to find but those with bricks even harder.....but then off on a distant sand dune Allan saw skiers!!...surely that can't be right thought Allan......hang on if there are skiers then there's Apres ski somewhere nearby......before you could say shaken not stirred Allan was off.......

to get piste.

:-D

Hang on it's not skiers.....they're sandboarding now that has to be easier wider platform...so sure no worries having a drink or two....but what to drink...

... as he is in the desert it would have to be Palm Wine.

After a couple of those........

He changed into a striped cotton shirt, and started singing Surfin Safari.....

Allan's wife was becoming fed up with all these changes whether it was clothing, moods or geographical locations.

She accused him of being temperamental.

'What do you mean!' shouted Allan

'Well,' replied his wife with a smug expression, 'You're half temper and half mental. Now what are you doing constructively to get us away from here, where ever here happens to be at the moment'