General Chat

Berona

Thank you for your message however I think you will be as shocked as we are when you have finished reading this thread.

My stepson decided to try to find out why the children are in Care. He asked his mother to accompany him which of course she did.

So off to Social Servicies they went and had a meeting with a senior lady and the person who had told him that the children had been put in care.
The children are NOT in care, they were NOT put into care, they have lived for the last three months with their maternal Grandfather and as stepson is not allowed to see them at the moment because he is waiting for a meeting in court to determine when he can see the children, the younger social person thought he would be happier to think they were in care !!! Can you believe tjisb
BUT it is true, we also spoke to his mother who confirmed that this is what they were told.......

They went straight to the police who where very helpful and after a bit of a wait informed them of the reasons why this had happened...I cannot write on here the causes but they are of a serious nature. He still cannot see the children but had good advice which he is going to start today.

Now, if this is how people are being treated in the UK no wonder there is major trouble. I do not condone for one moment what is happening in the streets but neither can I condone the behaviour of social services.

I will be back later to write some more along my usual lines, if anyone is offended by this message I will delete it, because I do not want to cause any upset

Bridget in Spain

It was a Public Holiday yesterday , so many people had taken Monday off as well to enjoy a long weekend. We went to a birthday lunch, we seem to do this frequently! Had a lovely pasta dish, a green salad, freshly baked bread and chocolate pudding, I gave the bread and the pudding a miss.

We are enjoying the budgie, it always sounds so cheerful.

Sorry to hear about your stepson's news, do hope things work out for him and he is able to care for his children again. It must be very frustrsting for him particularly as he had complied with the decision of the court.

We have had some more rain and to-day it looks as if it could rain again. Lovely for the garden, the lawn is green which is so nice after having had brown grass for such a long time.

Take care everyone.


Val.


8.27 a.m.

Today started cool with a slight wind but as the day moved on the sun came ot and the temp is around 30 so very pleasant. Rather quiet in town today I think people are recovering from the hot weather.
Sorry door bell hasjust called me, will try to get back later

Bridget

As promised on previous message I am back.
We did not know the people who came to see us but another friend had told them where we live so they could see how good outpr swimming pool has been built!

Of course we did show them and provided the coffee and biscuits. They stayed for Two Hours, OH was not very happy and we decided not to show them all of our house, just the loo before the left.

I do think that a quick telephone call from the person who told them where we live, a name was given, would have been polite. OH did telephone spoke to said person and said that in future call us first.

We are out for a couple of hours this evening, the lady who works part time for the English Bar said she did not mind opening for a few hours each Wednesday, it will be good for OH to have some male company!

The day has been pleasant with the sun shining but also a good breeze so not too hot. I have felt tired today so been lazing around and now OH has said he is hungry so starting to cook a meal before we go out, we only had a late breakfast today so I guess that is why he needs feeding!!

I hope that you ball have had a good day and that you have not been a victim in any way of the terrible problems in the UK

Bye bye

Bridget in Spain

16.11 hrs


:-)

Good morning

Well everyone must have been busy yesterday.

This morning I woke to a beautiful sunny day, and the sound of the birds twittering away, and Jet and Joe basking in the warmth of the sun.
Then I made a mistake, I turned on the TV and saw more damage across the UK, heard that hundreds of people have been taken into custody BUT so far less than a quarter of these people have been charged.

I am waiting to see what the government will decide whilst holding the meetings today.

Has anyone ideas of 1) why is this happening in a so called civilised country
2) what actions could prevent this from happening again
3) should the police have greater powers then they
Seem to have now.
4) has the immigration of so many people of different
Cultures contributed to this situation.

We were out yesterday evening and had a very pleasant evening chatting about anything and nothing.. Singing..perhaps not wise but fun and we took Jet and Joe who were pampered by everyone.

Not a lot more to say other than I am going to delete my message re his awful time as requested by my husband.

Have a good day everyone


Bridget in Spain in the sun

11.32 hrs

Hi Bridget
Been busy so have not had time to read the thread so sorry to hear about your stepson, Having had some experience of bad wives and mothers I am flabbergasted that anyone in authority could think that anyone would want to know that their children were in care. I am afraid the so called system is weighed against the man even when he is the innocent party... I do hope that he gets redress...tho I know it will cost him a lot of money...my thoughts are with you all.

Fortunately we are OK here but I did send an e mail to the Prime Minister telling him to get tough and show the country he had b....ls. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose everything like some have.
Jan

For some reason couldn't write more it wouldn't let me .....!!!!!!

Anyway on a lighter vein, my two lovebirds are back from their honeymoon and my daughter is up to her ears in washing...it is a good blowy day so she should get it done

Regards everyone Jan
10.38am Norfolk UK

Green fingers, I tried to write on here just a few minutes ago and it kept rejecting me by suddenly going of with a message apologising, what is going on.
Thank you for your understanding just how difficult it is for fathers to be given the custody of their children. We have not heard from him since tuesday so hoping that he is receiving good advice and support. If I hear anymore will put the progress, hopefully, he has made.

It is a warm morning here with some sunshine, the occasional clouds giving some shade, the birds have stopped singing, and Jet &Joe have had breakfast and are now snoozing.

Last night we went to the English bar, the owners are on holiday but two of the people who work for the owners were told they could open for Wednesday, music and singing night.

We took jet and Joe with us and they thouroughly enjoyed all the attention and the walk. Not sure who was more exhausted whe we arrived home, me or Jet & Joe.

Nothing special planned for today, but I might do some baking.....

Hoping that everyone has a happy day

Bridget in Spain.
12.02 hrs

Jan, how does one find the email address for sending a message to the Prime Minister.
I would like to send a message

Thank you.

Bridget,

Will write again later today

Just google No 10 Downing Street and up it comes, you have to put in your address etc and you have 1000 characters to write...it does count down for you so prepare yourself beforehand make it succinct and straight forward.

Hope you are successful


Regards Jan

7.25 pm

Good evening everyone. My stepson called to day and is sounding much better.he was asked to go to see a senior person at Social Services today so sensibly he asked his mother to accompany him. They met the most senior person i with another advisor who has been put in charge of his case.
Apparently the person who told him that his chi,dren were in care, had bern for three months and he could not be told where they were exactly because she did not want to worry him has been dismissed. I am not quiet sure how I feel about that.
There is a new meeting to be held on,I think Tuesday amend will see a very senior Social Worker,his mother will accompany him to all meetings which I think will be good for them all.
night night I am exhausted

Bridget

Sorry Bridget, not been on a lot today/yesterday so missed the news re your step son. I do hope that he can sort something out with Social services. Sometimes they really do take too much on themselves. Although I suppose we are all the first to criticize them wehn things go wrong. Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

Good evening Ann,

I do understand about dammed if you do and damned if you don't , but this means in my stepsons situation the neither parents have seen the children for 3 months! I wonder how they are feeling, their ages are from 12 to 5.
He called us this evening and sounded much better, so I hope that tjhi is resolved quickly.

Bridget in Spain

I should think the children are confused, feel abandoned...and what has anyone said to them as to why their parents havent seen them UGH.............

We had this with our new son in law that he didn't see his children ...all down to the ex wife who needs her brains testing....He is seeing his son now but the daughter will not see him...thats what happens

Jan

Bother, I just deleted my own message instead of sending it. Goingbto have a cup of tea and then come back!

Bridgeg

I hope nobody has poisoned the children's minds against either parent. But that is what often happens when SS get involved. I hope your stepson can soon see his children.

Thanks again for everyone who has posted such kind thoughts about my stepson and his difficult time.

We had a call from him today very distressed but having lots of support from his Mum.
He is NOT allowed to see the children despite the senior lady at Social Services speaking to the chldrens Grandfather, where they have lived for nearly 4 months now. He refused to allow the father any contact until the next court hearing nor would he allow the Grandmother to see them to give the eldest his birthday cards. Social Services cannot change the order as apparently the grandfather (paternal) had this as a condition when he said he would have the children. I accept that he is in his 60s and that his partner is considerably younger so they need to keep their own relationship on an even keel bu realy this is so sad.
He also stated that he will NOT give them any toys, clothes etc if any are sent nor will they be given any birthday cards etc from thi side of the family....This is so very sad, I do appreciate that he is lookig after the children, that they are still at the same school and seeing their friends but will the eldest one, who will be twelve just remember that his dad and family never came to see them and he did not get a card or present from any of us.
Next meeting in three weeks...
Social services will not say where the mother is and she was not fined as we thought when found drunk driving twice in one day with the children in the care becuase she was so stressed and she told the police that her husband was harrassingher...they never contacted him...what is happening.....who is in charge/ I feel bewldered.

OK thatis all for now about this sad episode.

OH and I have had a pleasant day on our own, no unexpected visitors, not much noise from the house below us, They seem to have calmed down over the last few days. Jet and Joe are well, OH is watching the cricket, the washing has been done, dried outside, ironed and put away.
Oh has made a Chicken Curry for tonight, n
so as you can see a very normal day

I am now gong to make acoffee and sit on the verandah for a while and my eys may just close for a few minutes

Bridget in Spain
:-D

Bridget - my heart goes out to you on this. You must feel like you are on the outside, looking in and can do nothing about it except be there to give your support when your stepson needs it. All too often, spite becomes more important than children's feelings and with grandparents also involved - there is possessiveness. Perhaps if he could consult a solicitor? I know it can be very expensive, but an initial visit might be all he needs to steer him on how to approach SS. Sometimes attitudes can change if it looks like court action might be involved. I feel for you all and wish you all the very best for the outcome.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts about my stepsons difficult time. I have decide that I will not write any more on this subject until the court hearing in a few weeks, I am sure thatbyou will all understand my decision. You are all wonderful cyber friends.

I got up early this morning, even though we had gone to bed late
. I wanted to see the full moon but the sky was completflow clouded over, and then I found it difficult to go back to sleep. OH thought I was mad when I told him this morning. The clouds have now dissapeared and the sun is beginning to shine and the sea is a beautiful blue and calm. Despite the fact that we have lived here for so long the view still catches my breath everyday. And I feel privileged to live here.

We have The Men's Group here this afternoon to watch football and cricket, so I think that I will pick up my embroidery and try to finish it. I found it in the spare room in one of the draws and it is a table cloth which is about 3\4 finished. I used to do a lot of embroidery but not for the last few years. Does anyone else on her do embroidery?

Val, have you always lived in SA or did you emigrate there? I have been wondering if you would add something about the area you live in on the Now None As thread. We have had some really good responses but would still like to hear from anyone living abroad.

Indeed if anyone on here would like to add to the above mentioned thread please do so

I will be back later but now going to have breakfast.

Bridget in Spain :-D

Good afternoon from a freezing cold JBay, I think there must be snow around somewhere.

Bridget the way your stepson is being treated sounds very harsh, I hope it will all be sorted soon for all your sakes. He must be devastated by the situation.

Despite the icy wind which is blowing we went to a Farmers Country Market a 35 minute drive from here, enjoyed the outing.

I have always lived in SA Bridget, I grew up in a town which is about a two hour drive from here, got married there and ten years later moved to East London(SA) where we lived for about 17 years, were transferred back to Grahamstown where we lived until retiring about 16 years ago when we came to JBay. I have been following the thread you mention with great interest and find it quite fascinating.

I am going to have a cup of nice hot tea now.

Enjoy what's left of the day.


Val.

3.24 p.m.