General Chat

I'm going exploring - I may be away for a while. HRH Gwynne

Boris and I arrived safely with my survival kit. One magic bottle of whisky. Swiss Army Pen knife Ball of String Bottle of Antibiotics Bag of salt Thongs for the feet to walk on the hot sand. Manchester United cap. I have had a walk around and there is plenty of fresh water and tropical fruit trees so we can survive. Also, I have heard animal noises so there must be meat to be had, as well as birds. I had better pick whatever fruit I can find as there will be a lot of hungry people about. I wonder if that "Sassy Brat" made it. I am off to look for the rest of the survivors and find The Admiral. FAT LADY, COOK (SURVIVOR OF THE SS UTOPIA)

HEY OVER THERE, yes, you with the aligator ( God I hate that Boris) FAT LADY COOK. I bet you didn't think that I would survive? HE HE !!! A hardy Liverpoodlian is what I am!!! So Fat Lady what are we to do? You know that you can't survive on this Island without me. I will meet with you later in the (your) day and discuss our positions. Remember Fat Lady -I am no longer in your "hold". We are all ship wrecked therefore under no companies power. We are all in the same boat, equals. Maybe I should be your boss?

Baz, you had a very busy night!! Hope you have seen others by now! Well done! Take it easy now, it's Saturday. Joy (GC can't find R ... Revd and I will be on the island after visiting family on mainland)

where am I? omg that was terrible! And I can't even swim!!! And I hate small boats, especially being rocked about in one, I was terrified I'd fall over board: I never did want to go on that cruise! But friends talked me into it, as though I'd never been on one before!!! I served in the Wrens, thanks to my father who had been an Admiral, well he was welcome to it! I had looked around the engine room,and so forth, when I was on the Ship, and of course many of the older officers remembered my father and assumed I was as familiar with all the equipment as he was! Wrong! I had served mainly on shore based units! So, here I am on an island, goodness knows where!! It's lovely and warm in this sun.... wonder who else survived?? There were a couple of cooks on the Ship who were forever arguing, Lindy something and her pet croc. and a Canadian woman, called 'Sassy', both seemed quite good at cooking, so hopefully they'll bring some decent supplies with them. From my cabin, I managed to grab: Couple bottlles of Dutyfree Gin (nothing to go with it though), so will just have to squeeze some fruit to get juice!! Some Savlon and plasters Couple of packets of Solpadeine My decent court shoes, which I was wearing when I jumped in the Lifeboat, plus a pair of sandals and there's a brush and comb, toothpaste and bar of soap which were in my toilet bag. A small multipurpose pen knife, which I always carry (that could be useful!) A box of teabags and a bag of biscuits from the Minibar. A blanket from my bunk, (so at least I won't freeze tonight) And of course, my life jacket which kept me afloat whilst I was drifting ashore. Some one in my lifeboat said that they'd seen Baz in another boat, drifting along the coast of the island, I wonder where he landed? He's be a good fella to have around. Liked him, when I met him on board, there was another chap, called David, he'd been in the Grenadier Guards, he could be handy too. Had dinner the other night with some rich Widow woman, who was forever flashing her jewellery under people's noses, should think she was hunting for another husband to buy her even more 'rocks' as she called them! And there was that attractive woman, Gwynneth, always wore red shoes everywhere, even round the pool. Oh, and a woman called Jenny, something to do with the medical profession, not quite sure what..... I'd better, get up and have a look round (struggles to her feet) ah, that's better ..... can see one or two people looking around too, I'll stroll over and chat to them ..... I've just remembered, there was a nice old chap.... Jim, was that his name? he looked very sensible, hope he's around too. And that group of women who sat on the bigger table at dinner: Joy and Viv and ..... Anne! and there were others, now what were their names? (Starts walking towards the greenery, then stops) Oh, yes, there was that odd woman with big teeth, seemed to like all her meat on the rare side (I like mine well cooked): always think it's a bit odd when people like meat .... well, sort of .... bloody! (Approaching some people with their backs to to her) .... who's this then?

Wow I thought I was never going to make it. Land, sand, palm trees. Ok now to see if there is anyone else here. Am going for a wander round and hopfully will find others from Utopia. Maggie

"Yeah" Yeah" Sassy stop bleating like a goat, Did you not manage to save anything at all? Oh! well, that is to be expected by an empty headed girl. Look! It's the Admiral...over here! ..I have a huge supple of fresh fruit on a Banana leaf in the shade if anyone wants to help themselves. Green coconut juice is nature's pick me up and will give you an instant boost (true) FAT LADY (Ex Cook) of the SS UTOPIA

Cooooeee! Maggie over here....Boris is fine and so is Sassy, Please tell me you managed to save some seeds and a lighter, I forgot to pack a lighter in my emergercy kit. It's so good to see you... FAT LADY.

Lindy yay so glad you made it. I have some seeds in my pack and 3 lighters wrapped up so they should be ok. Looks like most of us are here, and no doubt we will find others scattered about the place. Boris yes yes yes he is here as well, lovely Maggie

Just made it to shore with me and my two dogs, did'nt have time to collect anything just four large bars of chocolate and my Donker for dispatching nasty creatures, at least i'm now free of that waste of space crocodile!!!!, Going to look around for anyone else who survived. David

Hi Black Widow I can help i'll bash the stakes in the ground with my Donker (no i said donker). might even share some of my chocolate with you, were is everone??, did you say you had some drink, can only stay a short while i need to have a sleep, David

Yawn... .. Such a lovely afternoon nap... oooh!! where is everybody.? I have been lazing in the sun all day and feel really sleepy.. Will catch up with all of you later.....hmzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Lindy.. "Lying in the afternoon sun absolutely..out of it.hmmm. Lindy;-)

Hello everybody! Nice to see some people I recognise! Ah! Jean,I didn't see any sluts on board our Cruise!!! where were they? And why were you mixing with them? You are the wife of a Company Director you said. I thought it was a Luxury Cruise, I didn't realise there were women of that nature on board!!! Hopefully they got in a Lifeboat that ended up somewhere else, and not on our island! Ah, hello, Strump, ( thinks: I'd heard people talking of her as the Black Widow! because she seemed to have been married to a lot of rich old men) How nice to see you survived, did you manage to save your jewellery? (Oh thank goodness that nice Guards Officer David is here too) Hello David, I hope you're OK, but then with your training you probably regarded it as an exercise, didn't you!! I do hope you can organise some Guard patrol for us: we don't know what we'll find on this island. I overheard someone say that Baz and Grampa Jim had also survived, but that Baz sailed on round to the other side of the island. Hopefully he'll make his way to us. Margaret!!! I remember you saying you used to work on Gardeners' World! We shall be relying on you to get some food crops growing. And Lindy - and Sassy too: oh, that's good, we shall have some excellent cooked food then shortly. Cooooeee! Aren't you Viv? Didin't you manage the Bar at a top London Hotel? I seem to remember you telling us that one evening. Well, I have some Gin, perhaps you could round up any other drink that has been brought and try to set up a little bar for us: of course it won't be as Grand as you are used to but it should be very pleasant. Anne, well fancy seeing you! Oh I am so glad, AND you've got some supplies to add to our stock as well, that's good! Has anyone seen that Doctor lady? Jenny something?? Tomorrow, we must set up some sort of signal so that we can get rescued. I'm sure the Ship's First Officer will have sent our cruising position to all passing ships, so it shouldn't be too long before a ship comes along to help. Meanwhile, Let's get going on some building of shelters shall we? I suggest we all meet up later and discuss what would be best. I'm going off now to get some food, as I'm really very hungry.

Hello Folks - bet you thought I had stepped out for a "bite" to eat! I am "she who would be obeyed" because I have the power of eternal life (given that I have sufficient of the red stuff at regular intervals) My trochar is is my hand, at the ready and I am glad to see that sluts seems to have found dry land at last - I did hear that they had knotted all the blown up un-used codoms together and floated off into the sunset at the time of the shipwreck. Happy to hear they survived - what would the world be like without sluts? Fat Lady Cook also seems to have survived and I am glad of that, because despite what she thinks, Boris is actually Colin and anyone with a book on animal anatomy will see that she is deluded if she thinks that Colin is Boris. However, sometimes its just as well to let the deluded carry on! C'est la vie. I shall not be joining anyone for dinner, as I have made my own arrangements however, if Dr. Legs does not turn up I will be happy to administer any sort of medical examination required by those on the island that need medical attention, although the cures will be purely homeopathic as there are no modern day drugs to call upon. Jac the Drac ps this thread seems to be a continuation of the last one, so why change it?

Ok garden up and running, seeds planted, tills hoed ect, ect. Will be a day or two before stuff is grown enough to eat, so you will have to make do with what you rescued from the ship, or what you manage to find yourselves. Ive done my bit for now. So am off for a laze on the sand and a few swigs of coconut juice. Maggie

Crumbs - what happened? One minute I'm hiding in the hold, having a nap (having been exhausted by those McGann brothers), the next minute I'm waking up on a beach alone. Having trecked through wild undergrowth, narrowly missing treading on a snake and almost slipping into a lagoon full of crocodiles, I am now exhausted again. However, I thought I heard someone say that they had broken a nail and as luck would have it, lying beside me on the beach was my manicure/pedicure kit. Some of you may remember that was my official position on the trip. So if anyone wants to make an appointment I shall be available as soon as I get my strength back. Chrissie

(I have now realised that a lot of these women are showing their true colours! How could the Cruise line have let them on board? There doesn't seem to be many practical people on this island: goodness knows HOW we are going to survive even doing the most basic tasks! I heard that Jac woman saying that nothing has changed!!! Hmmm! I'd hoped that there would at least be some sensible d.i.y-ers. Think I'll wander off and see if I can find Baz, he was always very clear thinking). Excuse me!!! Oh, hello Chrissie, didn't see you there earlier! Can I have your attention everybody? I am just going on a walk about, to see if there are any survivors any where else on the island. Who knows, perhaps someone grabbed a radio, and we can send a message to get rescued. (hopefully, that Guard chap, David, or Grampa Jim, might have found Baz, and between them they sent some sort of signal) I'll see you in a while: I've taken some fruit from the stores, and my blanket in case I need it. Won't be long. (Perhaps, they'll pull themselves together before I get back!!)

OOOh! Dame Jean, Did you say supplies? Thank you!!(grabs and runs like hell) Ex Cook Of SS Utopia

MENU. ( no set meals, food when we find it.) ATTENTION EVERYONE Please make sure that you all get something to eat as we do not know when the next cooked meal will be. SWEET AND SOUR PORK WITH PINEAPPLE PIECES FRIED RICE IN COCONUT OIL SLICED MANGOS COCONUT JUICE. Fat Lady (Ex Cook) P.S. Boris and I will go fishing in the morning, Lots of Shellfish and fresh fish to be found. What happend to that "Sassy" girl, I hope she has not gone "walkabout", why should I worry about her...?

I didn't find Baz, or David the Guard, or Grampa Jim on my wander round. Perhaps they'll turn up tomorrow. Lindy, Fat cook: now you've got some more supplies, what's for breakfast, or is it just fruit again?