General Chat

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funny things children I know have said: 'That dolls got chickenpox' (there was a problem with the computer) 'its batterys dead' anything your children have said thats made you laugh or smile?

The last day of kindergarten, my son told his teacher "you're the bestest teacher i've ever had." Mind you, he never went to pre-school, so she was the ONLY teacher he had ever had.

George, I expect every parent on here could write a book of them! Heres my offering: My 5yr old and I were walking back from school just before Christmas when 2 senior boys started fighting and their language was none too clever. As we walked away he said "Mummy, those boys said *******!" To which I replied " I know darling and Father Christmas wont be coming to their houses on Christmas Eve." He thought about this for a while before saying in a sorry voice... " But Mummy, Daddy says ******* sometimes. Does that mean that Father Christmas wont be coming to see him?" I just had to say no, he wont. What else could I say!! I cant say what the word is for I would probably get chucked off, but its awful hearing it from a childs mouth. I did have a smile on my lips later when I had a go at Daddy for his language!

Read in a little book called Kids Talk,,,, ' I dont know when you get old but I expect its when you cant run anymore' 'I wouldnt like me as a friend because i tell fibs' 'When my mummy is cross she talk with a nasty smack in her voice' 'When i grow up i will be a doctor and pull things out and out things back' 'Why do all those footballers kis each other on the telly,,,theyre not married,,,theyre not even engaged' 'you couldnt make everyone in the world love each other , they dont even get on in blocks of flats'

My grandaughter, Sophie (8 on Monday) aked for a mental detector for xmas, I thought it was to risky in our house!

My granddaughter Autumn age 2½ was asked to bring her dress and tights off her bed so she could get ready to go to see her elder sister's dance school concert. She was heard talking to herself coming with them saying, "well, who's going to look a bobby dazzler tonight then".

My youngest daughter is 29 but I still remember with a smile what she said to me when she was 4.Christmas had come and gone and she had loads of toys that required batteries and I was for ever telling her to "mind or the batteries will go flat" It was her first day back at nursery school and just as we were about to leave the telephone rang.After I chatted for a while,and daughter standing by my side hand on hip huffing and puffing said" Mum if you dont hurry and get off the phone your battery will go flat" (still pull her leg today) When my other daughter was younger we were talking about who she would marry one day.When I grow up I'm going to marry my dad she said" I had to explain that she couldn't marry her dad because I was married to him.Well she said crying If I can't marry my dad I'm not going to marry anyone...............(but she did) Lynn

When my eldest (now 15) was young I was testing her knowledge of colours. I asked her to find something yellow and she pointed to my hair. I told her that it was blonde and we went on to discuss various hair colours. 'So what colour is Nanny's hair?' Brown.' What colour is Aunty Boo's hair?' 'Blonde.' 'And what colour is Daddy's hair?' After a bit of thought she said 'Grey and brown like a donkey'. Jeanette

my youngest has a cute way of saying he's full he always tells us he is full up to the sky, but the funny thing is he always has room for pudding LOL Shelli

My grand-daughter Madolyn, 3, was just told recently she was going to have a baby brother or sister fairly soon. Her responce was, "What are we going to do with this one", this one is her baby sister Amelia, 1.

Of all the funny things my 3 children have come out with the one that got the most attention was when my son (now 17) was asked at the age of 5 what he wanted to be when he was grown up.....he replied 'a criminal'....as you can imagine it caused quite a few comments and laughs, which was handy really as what he MEANT to say was 'a comedian' !!! Boy did i have trouble living that one down!!! Yvette

Just recently I've been forgetting things all the time. The other day I had once again forgotten to do something and I said "I've definitely lost my marbles this time" to which my 3 year old son Josh replied, "I'll buy you some new ones Mummy. Big ones so you don't lose them again"!!!! And when my husband broke his leg and had to stay in bed a fair bit, Josh said "Daddy needs new batteries Mummy, that will make him better!!" Kids! Don't you just love them! Eleanorxx

Our son Chris' now 22 still gets his leg pulled about the day, when he was 5 years old and he went to see one of his older sisters 'passing out parade' when she entered the RAF. Asked by one of the Officers what he wanted to do when he grew up his answer was, " I'm going to be a Red Arrow pilot, but in my spare time I'll drive the Yorkie chocolate bar lorry".

On meeting my 6 year old daughter's teacher for the first time, she asked me, 'How's the family history research going?' I was surprised, and wondered if she had spotted my name on web site message boards. She explained that she had asked all the children in the first week to talk a little about themselves and their families. My daughter Tamsin had talked a little about herself and when the teacher asked her what her parents did, she replied ' Daddy owns his own lorry and works really hard, Mummy goes on the Genes Connected web site' !!!!!

My best friends youngest child Charlotte used to say that she likes popcorn but kept getting the first p and the c the wrong way round When my oldest was 5 he had a project at school where he had to draw his special person and he drew me (I got all gushhy about that) and then he had to write on the back about why that person is special and he wrote "I love my mummy because she is stressed" Bless him He is now 7 and earlier this week we were talking about eating too many sweets and why that's not a good thing cos it's bad for your teeth and gives you a pudgy tummy. I'm a weight watchers member and he said I was going to get rid of my pudgy tummy cos I didn't want anymore babies. That one took a bit of explaining

When I was young we often used to meet my father off the train from work and go to the cinema. Dad sometimes used to buy us a drink or sweet from the kiosk on the way in. On one occasion when I was 7 or 8 there was one of moments when everything goes very quiet when my answer to what I wanted to drink was "Gin and orange, please".

When my daughter, who's now 17 was 5 we took her to a rather posh restaurant. I had reminded her to behave and be polite. As we had our soup, with croutons, she asked the waitress in her politest voice "Please may I have more CONDOMS in my soup" Needless to say the waitress almost dropped her serving dish!

Recently my 3yr old grandaughter Emilia asked me, have you got pooh up your bum? when I replied yes she said well don't you think it's time you went to the toilet then Tonight she was playing snakes and ladders with her older cousin Amanda she shook the dice and got 3. Amanda then said only 3 Emilia , her reply was well I'm 4 in February Bren

I worked as a Nanny for several years.The funniest (and most embarrassing to the parents)thing I ever heard was a three year old at playgroup.The playgroup leader was encouraging the children to make dough "sausages"What did my charge say,"It's not a sausage it's a big fat p***s and you mustn't eat it!" How the mothers and helpers managed not to burst I really don't know! Bless the little darlings!!