General Chat

My husband had a terrible time after I had brain surgery. That was 11yrs ago, I was 28 and had 2 small children at school, I still have some problems now. I used to have little alarm clocks set to go off to alert me to my list of things to remember. Before this I set the kitchen on fire, stored stupid amounts of certain foods. Get lost and forget where I was going. Couldn't remember names of things and everything was called "thingy" I still am if I get tired, nervous or cold. The kids took advantage of it because I couldn't remember if I had said yes or no! This is just a small sample of things I did! It was very hard but we did get through it, hubby even does the shopping now! Something I thought he would never do and he's better than I ever was! I do, do shopping on the web now as long as I can just put it in my "basket" I have bought all sorts of strange things when I had to write numbers down because I get letters and numbers muddled up! I'm sure you will get through, it all takes time and a bit of patience. My hubby was really cross with me and I was with myself and I spent years on anti depressents. You both have to understand what is going on and work together at it. I wish you loads of luck, better health and best wishes, love Jo

Denise, I know someone who has had surgery to have a tumour from his brain and now has difficulty with his short term memory, he forgets the names of everyday objects. Although he finds it frustrating at times, he has been told that his memory will return. He now faces an operation for another smaller tumour and jokes that he will have to get a t-shirt with his name on in case he forgets that this time! Sue

Hi Jacquline, Stay on a lighter note, my husband has just phoned his sister to find out the name and sex of the child, its worse than we thought, there are three of them being christened at the same time, all from our family. Even his sister does not know the names or sexes. Its a distant relative, that probaly thought of us at the last minute. lol. Denise

Denise, my fear was that my husband had MS, because his Grandfather, Mother and two Aunties had it, he didn't worry about that though, or so he said, but doctors assured us it was not that. One thing Denise, memory loss is memory loss no matter how one acquires it, whether through surgery, stroke, accident, whatever, it still has the same effects on sufferer, family and friends. I have had visual impairment from birth and I know people who have it due to other reasons, but we are all just as visually impaired no matter how we got there. If your husband wants to moan to someone who knows, tell him to email me and the same goes for you, email my hubby, we'll start our own moaners club. One thing we learned to do, it took time though, but really helps, learn to laugh at it. Sounds easy, no it isn't, took us ages, you'll get there. M.

Hi Morfydd, Thank you for your reply. Like your husband I write EVERYTHING down even my calender is full of all sorts of information, it has to be because I cannot remember litte things. I could tell you all about my family tree I have on Genes so my memory is not THAT bad. The ability to put yourself in someone elses shoes is VERY hard I know. So you must be as anxious as my husband at times. I will admit to Alzheimers if need be, I know the symptoms only too well, but this is defiantely not the time. The only argument my husband will have is that your husband had a stroke, whereas mine was major surgery, but I can but try. Thanks again Morfydd, Denise

Denise, one thing I would like to add, and again this is not meant in a nasty way to your husband, but why doesn't he take over the remembering for a while. As I've said my husband relied heavily on me for this and still does, but at least your husband will know things are running smoothly, you will be more relaxed and so there will be less anxiety for the both of you and less conflict too. Have a good day today. M.

Hello Denise - I have never had major surgery (fortunately) so I cannot really comment. However, I do understand your husband's concerns though. My hubbie's brother developed Alzheimer's at 55 (which is not old in my book) and I know that my hubby really worries that he might develop the disease himself - if he forgets the slightest thing I can tell he's thinking "oh God, is this the start". Alzheimer's Disease is a dreadful dreadful wasting disease, and so many talented people who could have contributed so much to humanity have been struck down with it. Having watched my brother-in-law deteriotate for 10 years, I would not wish the disease on anyone (I have heard it referred to as a "living death") That describes it exactly I think. On a lighter note, my own short term memory is terrible - I often find myself in a room and wondered why I had entered it - eventually I will remember (possibly 3 hours later!!) We all have so much to remember and deal within our lives that it's understandable if sometimes the memory goes blank - I find that if I write things down I remember them much easier than just trying to store everything "upstairs" - now, that's a point, I've just remembered what all those little bits of paper are, all over the house. LOL. Chin up girl, when you get to the church the Vicar will surely announce the name of the child wont he/she? All will then be revealed. Best wishes - Jacqui

My husband has the same problem after suffering a stroke in July 2002, thankfully he is better than he was . For the first year his memory was extremely bad, to the point that he would constantly ask me things that I had already answered several times, he would walk off in the middle of a conversation, because he would just forget that someone was talking to him, etc. He still has the problem, but to a much lesser extent, it is most noticeable when he's tired or stressed. He has been told that he will always have the problem, WE just have to cope with it or live with it whichever is the most suitable word to use. No disrespects to your husband, because I know how frustrating it can be, his reactions to you and the memory loss, will to some extent determine how bad your memory will be (if you see what I mean), if he gets stressed, or upset, you will try too hard and things will get worse. My husband started back to work nearly three weeks ago, on a six month scheme for the disabled at our local hospital, he is very happy, a bit of his confidence is coming back, but he still writes EVERYTHING down, tells me things I have to remind him, etc. I could go on for ever here, if you want email me, you or your husband. Hope things get better. Love, M.

Does anyone have short term memory loss AFTER major surgery? My husband has just had 'a go' at me because I cannot remember whose christening we are going to today. My 'memory' has been this bad for ony two years now. His mother died from Alzheimers Disease and I am sure much of his anger is based on the fear that I am going the same way. I know I am not. So please, are there any members who have had the same problem after major surgery? I could show him your replies, it may help. Denise,Manchester