General Chat

This is the Captain speaking!!!! will all passengers (even those who are slightly pisssed) please fasten their safety belts; I have spied land to the s.s.east and can hear with my bat hearing the sounds of a multitude of people singing YMCA- we must be approaching civilisation (Or perhaps even Southampton!) To avoid them thinking we are aliens landing I suggest we join in with the words, - all together now I want to be in the YMCA, I wanna be in the YMCAaaaaaay I see a suitable landing sight (well, its actually the car park for the Novo City Nite Club on the Dock Road. but really, who cares?) I'm coming into to land - those at the rear of the cloak should stick out legs NOW (thats you Dr Longlegs, please wake up!!) those in the middle, prepare for a bumpy landing, as my aerofiles are less than reliable (why dont your legs work in sync Dr?) Anyone else still with us, sing "Abide with Me" all 5 verses please. We are going in, we are going in........... Jac the Drac

(large carrier pigeon flying alongside) SQUAK!!! SQUAK!!! (Loud plopping sound!!!!!!!! drops message wrapped round Garlic Bulb: message reads: "we invite you to join us for a Welcome Home Drink in the Grand Hotel, Southampton"

This is the Captain speaking!!!! Is everyone OK - please check the condition of the person next to you, as I am not responsible for their condition!!!! I suppose I should come clean now and tell you that this was my first long-distance flight!!!! Only an apprentice-vampire really, with no previous experience especially on long flights. I do hope ladies and gentlemen that you enjoyed your flight with Jac Airways, have a safe journey home, and in the words of the prophet - if you carnt be safe, be ccareful!! Jac the Drac

I will return and deal with that pidgeon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jac the Terminator

ROW! ROW! ROW! YOUR BOAT! Against all odds we made it to FOGO ISLAND. Come along BORIS...We have a plane to catch back home to FARO airport. Fat Lady (unemployed cook)

Manda, never fear, another boat is coming back to the island, according to Baz, to collect anyone left behind. Of course, the original rescued passengers are now in Southamton, gateway to the world!!! Well, if nothing else, we have access to a computer and this thread. Don't know what happened to that lot we invited for a drink last night, they didn't turn up . . . reckon that Jac the Drac, who was so nasty to our carrier pigeon, has got them all lost at sea again!!! knew she wasn't to be trusted (mumble, mumble!!)

HOME SWEET HOME! I wonder what that fanged dried up old prune that wears a cape was on about? Oh! What about that sleezy brothel owner? You should all see Boris, lying on a sunbed with a big grin on his face...hhmmm... Strange that I have not heard the neigbours dogs barking.. Boris wouldn't have...No! ..He only eats fish! Doesn't he?? Lindy back home in the Algarve;-))

afternoon all! yes i know i have appeared from thin air...its these pills i take to stop myself melting, they have actually turned me invisible for a couple of days....how odd!! lol what have i missed?? Steph- Entertainment Manager

Well, Steph, depends where you look!!! A few of us, including me, are in SOuthampton, some others, like Dr. jenny, Dame Jean and the Black Widow got a flight courtesy of Jac the Drac, and I think they're now landed in Southampton too. Lindy, the Fat Cook, paddled away on the croc. and is now in the Algarve. What happened to you? Where were you when we were calling names to get on the rescue boat. Manda is still around on the island I think, wiating for the next rescue boat.

oh i was there- just invisible!!!! hmmmm sounds intriguing, but who would have guessed it..i am also in Southampton!!!

who would of guessed it- ive now found myself on an island!!!lol

That sounds like a good idea, Black Widow! Do want to open another thread, and close this one. I think people have probably seen enough of my threads for now!!!!

Eh up campers!!!! sorry to drop you off so quickly last night, but had a date with Uncle Albert in the churchyard - silly old sod was prancing about like someone demented - talking of demented, I was worried about Fat Lady Cook, so flew over to the Algarve early this morning, and guess what??? She's sitting there in the almost altogether in the sun, pina colada in one hand, factor 99 in the other. At her side, guess who? well, I can only describe it as a shrivelled up burst ballon, brown coloured with various patches! The woman seemed happy enough though (even though the men in white coats were waiting to take her away for a "rest") and eventually I saw her being driven off in the white van, clutching her string and burst balloon talking about getting married, settling down, having crocodiddlies etc etc. Seemed happy enough really, so no worries there then! I'm glad my Freemans Catalogue cape stood up to the journey - I was worried, as £5.99 dont buy you much nowadays and I'm pleased that Southampton will soon have another Bawdello - perhaps I'll pay Madam Slut a visit one of these days. Off now to find another trochar and possibly a stiffie! Farewell all (for the time being) ps Dorothy you grouchy old thing - I wouldnt have let you come on my cloak even if you had asked! I hope you enjoyed your journey home in the smell hold of the argentinian sea dog! lol - JAC the DRAC

Hi everybody!!! I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to everybody who joined in the fun and spirit of this thread, especially those who stuck with it from the start. I was totally astounded that a curious enquiry could result in such a great story line. It's been great!!!!!!! Perhaps we should try to find that island some time, and all escape to it when things get 'rough'. It could be our Escape route.

I never did get a chance to give that crocodile a kick up the rear none the more the adventure was unusual but fun were's that pub David

Dave, On the corner just past the phone box on the left.

A village??? Well that's an interesting thought isn't it? I bags being Lady of the Manor (Penelope Keith style!), and of course I would have to have an aged Butler! Or of course it could be like Dibley then we would need a lady Vicar,( I don't think I'd qualify for that!) But I could play a widow called MRS. HORTON, I reckon we've certainly got enough characters like that on here. But then that only had a few people in it, didn't. So I think it would be better if we had our own village. Perhaps a mix of the two above. I don't watch soaps, so I don't know any other styles of village, so please don't imitate any of them!

Hi, I for one am going to miss the Utopia (although my hubby may be glad to have me back in the real world). It was a great escape for me and at times I really was beginning to wonder if I was going doo lally. the Utopia story line was all that mattered to me for a couple of weeks, I lost interest in every thing else. So thanks every one for making the last few weeks fun, it has been great. Jo - aka Lady M

Hi Joanne: It WAS fun wasn't it? And yes, it did take over, because it was a sort of daily necessity, or seemed to be anyway. Are you not going to 'come and live in this Village' then? I think its down to Donna to post it: but it could be fun too, you could have a virtual reality house with all the things in it you want (for nothing!!) and I don't think it would be so demanding on the time if we were careful. There wouldn't be the urgency for any decisions, would there?

Dorothy - Thats true, so yes most definatly, when the village people start i'll be there, have to think of a new role!!! Jo