General Chat

paul, did u get my message on messenger, think mine is playin up!!

ahhh well not everyone has a sense of humour, sadly.

im from Essex, always lived here...i find em funy! cant see how people could take offence to jokes!! xxx

Rosemary, I can't take credit for someone else's work, I got this in an email this morning, don't know who wrote it originally. I have seen a "scouse" version too some time ago, I daren't post that though, the Essex folk seem to have a better sense of humour than the scousers (contrary to public opinion lol). Paul ps, no I'm not from Essex, but the person that sent it me was.

I enjoyed that very much, You should write for a living. You don't do you? Try Private eye Rose

essex girl is in a car crash, paramedics get to her n say, whats your name dear, Tracy she says where are you bleeding from? Romford mate, she says, Ok, he says, how many fingers am i holding up, Oh Gawd, she screams, im paralysed too!!!

LOL VERY GOOD, REALLY ENJOYED, THANK YOU. ENJOY YOUR DAY. LISA

emergency supplies of pot noodles and pop tarts can be shipped in - just let me know lol

more Essex girl jokes >An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many >children?" asks the council worker "10" replies the Essex girl "10???" says >the >council worker.. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, >Wayne, >Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne" "Doesn't that get confusing?" >"Naah..." >says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the >street I >just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and >they >all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the >perturbed council worker. "That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their >surnames" > >An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on >the >counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. >"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "This time >it's >mayonnaise." > >Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose >from >our range on the wall." She says "I'll take the red one." The man replies >"That's a fire extinguisher." > > >An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her >boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that >there's >a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!" "It's not just >one >car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!" > >

very good paul ,just showed hubby he is laughing so much he is nearly crying

Very funny!!! Steedie- THE ESSEX GIRL, not a typical one though!!!

Brilliant Elaine too, pmsl yet again! Dave is right, you Essex folks have a great sense of humour. Mandy :)

Disclaimer: The views expressed above do not necessarily reflect that of the author ;)

Here some Essex girl jokes .... very old stuff Q: What's an Essex girls favourite wine? A: aw go-on take me to lakeside please please go-on take me Q: What's an Essex Girls form of protection? A: Bus Shelters Q: How may Essex girls does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?. A: Five. One to make the mixture and Four to peel the Smarties. Q: What does an Essex girl say after sex? A: "Do you really all play for the same football team?" Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy? A: An Essex girl has a higher sperm count. Q: What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her feet. Q: What does an Essex girl do with her a**hole after sex? A: She takes him down the pub. Q: What makes an Essex girls eyes light up? A: A torch shone in her ear. Q: How do you know when an Essex girl's had an orgasm? A: She drops her bag of chips. Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and the Titanic? A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic. Q: What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl? A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own. An Essex girl is driving along and asks her boyfriend kiss her somewhere warm, wet and smelly. He tells her that it's to late to drive to Canvey Island. Q: Why do Essex Girls wear knickers? A: To keep their ankles warm Q: How does an Essex girl turn the light off after sex? A: She closes the car door Elaine x (now an Essex Girl)

I was born in Edmonton But Im ALL essex girl now LOl Daughter full bred essex girl. Elaine x

Paul, That's made me roll up, and I've lived in Essex all my life. Brilliant!! Diane

Paul, Absolutely hysterical. However, I take exception. All us Essex "girls" do not wear shell suits. Jean in her black stockings and white stilettos. xxxx

Oh how true. Lol. But having been brought up in Romford, that bit's a bit below the belt. The missus is from Hornchurch (by dint of the fact that the front door of her parents house was on the right hand side), but born in Romford, whereas I only went there at 3 weeks old.

Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population or neighbouring areas of Vange, Pitsea and Laindon.

don't forget white stillettos paul.lolxxxxxxxx(: