General Chat

It's nice to find some understanding people. Most of my friends tell me I should sort things out, rise above her etc. She makes me unhappy, simple!

Sorry to read of your problem Liza, I had that all my life,You have to accept it and remember,You can only choose your friends,not your family.Just get on with your life,its too short to waste or let other people waste it for you.Best wishes,Hal.

My mother was the same, which looking back now seems such a waste of life. She never wanted any children so when she realised she was expecting me apparently tried every trick in the book to get shot of me. She resigned herself eventually to having a boy (no competition) but got me. My hair was to straight, I was ugly, I was'nt a nice child. Everything was wrong. She permed my hair when I was two. Eventually when I was 12 I was taken away from her. Her and my father had divorced and she had become an alcololic. I did'nt see her for eight years after that. When I was 20 I dicided to go and visit her, which I did and we became good friends and she apologised for being a bad mother. A year later she was dead at the age of 47 with a heart attack. That was nearly forty years ago now and now I think what a silly woman to have spent most of her life being bitter and twisted when she could have had such a nice life.

Unfortunately Schizophrenia is a horrible illness in which the person thinks they are normal and others are persecuting them. it is treatable with medication but, because the patient then feels better, they assume they no longer need medication and stop taking it and become ill again. When ill they are not responsible for their actions. I have a friend who has been schizophrenic for over 40 years and she keeps hers under control with medication has raised a family and is a loving Grandmother. I also have a niece in her 30s who suffers from it and she has recently abandoned her medication for the second time. She has cut herself off completely from the family. if she ever gets her medication settled again she will be appalled to know how she has behaved to her Mum and the rest of us. I am sorry that you have suffered so much with your Mum but it is an illness and, hard though it may seem, she probably needs compassion. I suspect she thinks she doesn't need any medication which is why she is so horrible to you. Best to get on with your life and not try to be friends. Unfortunately unless she gets and responds to treatment she is not going to change. Ann Glos

I really feel for you Lisa. It must be very difficult at times. Lorraine with hugs x

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THX LOUISE, I'M SORRY FOR WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH, IT IS VERY HARD ESPECIALLY WHEN WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYHITNG WRONG. MY MUM BELIEVES EVERYONE IS DOING 'THINGS' TO EVERYONE ELSE, AND CALLS THE POLICE WHEN SHE DOESNT GET 'HER OWN WAY'. AH WELL, I GUESS WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT, OR ERADICATE THE PROBLEM FROM OUR LIVES. LISA XXX

YEP, PROB FOR ME IS WHEN SHE WAS SENT TO HOSPITAL I HAD TO MOVE BACK INTO HER HOUSE TO LOOK AFTER MY BRO, AND A YEAR LATER I'M STILL HERE ERGHH...SHE AVOIDS ME LIKE THE PLAGUE LUCKILY, AND ACTS LIKE I DON'T EXIST, SHE ALSO THINKS I'M THE ONE WHO'S INSANE AND NOT HER! SHE IS A VICIOUS PERSON, AND IS VERY HURTFUL. I TRIED TO HELP HER, AND SHE TREW EVERYTHING BACK IN MY FACE. AS SOON AS I MOVE OUT I WILL DISSOWN HER, I TRUELY BELIEVE SHE DOESNT DESERVE KIDS. :o) LISA XXX

I think the problem can be (specifically in my situation) that although we become adults we are always our parents children. My mum tends to behave like a friend who doesn't like me rather than a mum who should love me unconditionally My mum and dad (divorced and both remarried) want to sit down with me and resolve it all but I know that she will get angry and make me feel even worse. I really am happier not being in contact rather than being on speaking terms and receiving text messages/letters/etc of abuse and hurt. It's all very sad :-(

LOL... WELL I'VE MOANED FOR YEARS, NOW I LET IT RUN STRAGHT BY ME NOW, THO I DO STILL GET UPSET. AH WELL, WE CAN'T CHOOSE OUR PARENTS LOL, BUT MAYBE I CAN TRACE MY DAD . THX FOR YOUR REPLY LISA XX

aww thx cold, prob i have is that my mum loves my b/f too much, know what i mean? lol hugs to you too, i know what its like :( lisa xx

Oh Lisa :-( I know exactly how you feel. Almost 2 years ago I started seeing my boyf and she hated him, now we do not speak at all. Her and my sister have constantly ganged up on me and tricked me with emotional mind games. The day I moved out (on my own for the first time!) she made sure she wasn't around and just left me a long letter saying what a mistake I was making and how awful I was. What can we do? I keep thinking to myself that something could happen to one of us tomorrow and I'd regret not being close to her anymore but I can't stand her malisciousness. Hugs of sympathy xxx

EVER SINCE I TURNED 5 MY MOTHER HAS HATED ME WITH AVENGENCE, NOW I'M 24 AND FOUND A GOOD MAN SHE IS JEALOUS, AND SERIOUSLY WISHES I WAS DEAD. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD DAUGHTER, AND THE FACT THAT SHE IS A DIAGNOSED SCHIZOPHRENIC HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. IS ANYONE HAVING SIMILAR PROBLEMS TO ME? I LOVE MY MUM, BUT I'M AT MY WITTS END. LISA X