General Chat

My best friend of 20+ years went through a horrible time with her ex husband, had four lovely kids to him that was the only good thing he ever did, one of them has post traumatic stress syndrome because of what he was like, she's only 11 now and the only person able to calm her down during her night terrors is her new daddy. When my friend met Karl 3 and half years ago, I was ecstatic for her, he's such a wonderful man, they got married at gretna green in may this year, 6 months ago. A wk ago, saturday, he had a sore throat so she took him to the out of hours, who said it was a throat infection and sent him home. Within an hour of getting home, his throat closed up, and he went into respiratory arrest, had a massive heart attack and suffered brain damage. The hospital put him on life support for 6 days, but on friday they told her it was time to switch it off and let him go, he was her soulmate and she'd only just found him!! WHY!! When her ex is still walking around terrorising her children, should such a wonderful man be taken?? He was 51.

Oh Wendy that is so sad. My heart goes out to your friend. Life can be so cruel sometimes. Thankfully she has a good friend in you. my thoughts are with her and her family Christine

What a tragedy for your friend and her children. I will be thinking good thoughts for them - and you, good friend that you are.

Thank you christine and felicity its just so unfair, I spoke to the youngest 2 kids just after she went home and told them, how do you explain to an 11 and 9 yr old why he had to go, they want to see him at the chapel of rest and I told them to tell him how much they love him, to which the 11 yr old sobbed that he wouldnt hear her. YES he will, I told her, he'll always hear you.

Wendy, how very sad, Life just seems so unfair sometimes. Your'e poor friend, as if she hasn't been through enough, shall be thinking of you all. Take care there.

wendy that is so sad life is s**t at times isnt it (sorry for swearing) sending them lots of luv ou xxx

LIfe can be so sad and also so very unfair. My thoughts are with your friend and her family and also all those who will be affected by this sad event. Jacky

oh wendy i really dont know what to say. why is life so dam cruel!! my heart goes out to your friend and her children. love and hugs susie

Wendy. I am so sorry to hear that, your friend must be devastated but you're there for her. As my mother in law always said, the" the good go first". And it seems that way there, but the children did have someone else that loved them, if only for a short while, Pat x

How very sad, but how wonderful that this man came into your friend and her childrens lives to show them that not all husbands/fathers are like the previous one. This man will have been well loved and obviously loved them all back putting love and hope back into their lives to give them the strength to move forward knowing that there is good in this world . In time the hurt and rage of such a loss will heal and your friend will find love again because this man has healed her from the hurt from her ex. The children will grow up with his memory and will have given them a good example of what a husband and father should be. Life is so cruel but there is a reason for most things in life I think. Much happiness to you and your friend Debi

Wendy I tried sending you this poem. But it lost all formatting. Ive posted it before but this may help to bring comfort for your friend and her children. Coming Home To my dearest friends and family, some things I'd like to say. But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love. Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I WELCOME YOU", "It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone. As for your friends and family, They'll be here later on. I need you here so badly, you're a part of my plan. There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man." God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do, and foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you. And I will be beside you every day and week and year and when you're sad I'm standing there to wipe away the tear. And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight, God and I are closest to you.. in the middle of the night. When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years, because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain. Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain. I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er, I'm closer to you now than I ever was before. And to my very many friends trust God knows what is best, I'm still not far away from you I'm just beyond the crest. There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb; But together we can do it by taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too; That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you. If you can help somebody who's in sorrow, hurt, and pain, then you can say to God at night... "My day was not in vain". And now I am contented.... that my life was claimed worthwhile. Know as I passed along the way I made somebody smile. So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low, Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go. When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind, I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind. And when you feel the gentle breeze or the wind upon your face, that's me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace. And when it's time for you to go .... from that body to be free, Remember you're not going.. .. you're coming here to me. And I will always love you from that land way up above. Will be in touch again soon. P.S. "God sends His Love" ~Author~ Ruth Ann Mahaffey

The onle way I can cope with this sort of thing,disasters and the suffering of children is to say to myself that we are living in Hell.That we are here to help each other through it.There will come a time when her fist husband gets his come upance.The children will grow into adults. As I told my ex.'Don't forget you have to sleep,be very afraid!' My heart goes out to your friend and her children.How awful to lose such a good man Rose

Thank you all so much for the kind words. I bought one of those heart pendents that splits into pieces, this one has 3 pieces to it so when we go to see him at the chapel of rest I will give the youngest two a piece each and tell them to give daddy the biggest middle piece. That way they always have a piece of his heart, and he always has a piece of theirs, and one day, when they meet again, the heart will be complete. Thank you all again, Wend xxx

I'm glad you think so Linda, I wasn't sure wether it was appropriate given that they are 9 + 11, just want to try and ease their pain any way I can, and I know that clinging to the hope that we all meet again someday has helped me through some very sad times xx

wendy thats a lovely thought giving the heart pendant, i hope yuor friend and her kids find the strength to get through this together.

Wendy what dreadful news. I agree with everything Deborah said. Your friend is lucky to have a good pal like you. Thinking of you all with love. Linda x

Wendy, that truly is awful, I feel so sorry for your friend but she is very lucky to have a friend like you she can rely on. The pendant idea is fantastic and I'm sure will help the children a little, come to terms with their grief. Very best wishes to you all. Kxx

They say everything in life happens for a reason - some reasons are just too hard to figure out. Life can be a bitch. Jack x

So very sad - please give her our best wishes and our thoughts and prayers are with her and the children. The poem is beautiful and I hope it gives her some comfort from reading it. Another young family I know has just lost their daddy so I will pass on the poem to them too.

Oh dear, that really is so sad for her and those children. They have all been through so much already. Jo.