General Chat

Hi Shaz, Really feel for you and hope everything works out for you. You could always try Relate - even if he won't go you can still go on your own and maybe talking to professionals will help you sort things out in your own mind at least. Kxx

Hi Shaz I sounded very short in my first reply, I also misinterpreted the title I thought you meant literally - how do you know, and what I meant was you have a gut feeling inside, but I too have been there and it isn't as simple as that. At the end of the day if you think its' over but you don't want it to be, try and keep it but like Diana says keep hold of your dignity, that's hard cos my dignity goes out of the window when I think I am in trouble. If you think it's over and think that's the best thing then put things in motion asap cos there's no point in prolonging it. It isn't easy though hun, I wouldn't want to be in that position again. Thank God I don't think I ever will be. G xxx

if one partner has said that they have no love for the other and wants to end the relationship then i think the relationship will not survive.been there tried it and it just doesn't work.you just end up becoming enemiesxxxxxxxxx(:

Shaz I totally understand where you're coming from, I'm there myself at the moment. I would ask what someone else has alread said - 'does he have someone else'. I've asked mine, which unfortunately, for me, lead to another issue we don't talk about. I never did get a proper answer. I do hope you feel better this morning and that you can take that step foward towards sorting the issues out.

Hi Shaz, hope things are looking better this morning hun. I agree with the majority, you have to talk to your hubby. It's the only way if you want to make things work.

we also worked different shifts tah did`nt help in being together either i felt things just slipped away

i was your hubby,i went to councing to late,,,wished i had gone alot sooner

Shaz, I really hesitate to say this because it obviously hasn't crossed your mind - but, has he got someone else? I have been through this twice myself, both times "he" had someone else but denied it. I turned myself inside out trying to help with their "depression", trying to change myself, trying to be all bubbly etc, never mind MY depression. I sincerely hope I am wrong about YOUR husband, but after 10 years together, he owes you an explanation for his remark if nothing else. I sincerely hope all turns out as it should for you. Marjorie

Try going to the doctors/councillor yourself (you don't have to get pills!) it will be good for you to talk. Because you are going he might find it easier to talk to you about what the councillors are saying. It will make you stronger and able to cope. then it will either help your marriage or give you a better grounding to cope with what might come. good luck my dear Tracie

Night night Shaz take care. Love Debs.

thanks for all your replies and support i will go to bed and sleep on it (hubbby is on nights) plus i have work tomorrow thanks again Bev

you may be right litle KB perhaps he has dragged me down i have supported him though serious illness and dibility which is ongoing and i must admit it has been hard at times, but he has never willingly depended on me, and he has always put me first which is why i fell so wretched at the mo, cos i just don't know whats gone wrong sorry folks this is not your prob and like i said i have probably already said too much

yes i have 2 children still living at home, hubby is not their father but he has brought them up for the last 10 years

Shaz plan an evening for you two and cook a nice meal lay all the table up nice dress up and have fun don't talk about your problems have some laughs and then tell him this how you want us to be and then talk about what you both want and want from each other. Good luck. Love Debs.

no Ellen he would rather die than accept help from anyone thats prob part of the trouble

unfortunatly my guy is not the sort that will go to marriage guidence i have know for years that he is depressed (with good reason) but he refuses to seek professional help, his philosiphy 'you got 2 legs you stand on them' and to be fair to him, in every aspect of his life he does just that. unfortunatly he thinks it is me that is depressed and that i should see the doc i do not want to go down that road, at least not alone, cos i dont think that is the prob, i really don't see how a few pills is going to resolve this and now i have prob said too much

i agree Maz we used to communicate about everything and i mean communicate not just talk but that hasn't happened for ages but i have only just realised it

Shaz.... if you don't want to give up then don't but never lose your dignity.... I too have had a similar experience recently but hopefully we are on the road to recovery.... but if we're not then at least i know I gave it my all!! Email me if you wanna chat!! D xxxxxxxxxxxx

i tried to talk to him, but he would not open up not sure what to do cos he is acting as if everything is ok not mentioned it since the meal, but then we have seen little of eachother due to our shifts but i have to admit it is easier when he is not home or i am at work

Don't know kiddo. Seriously I've been married for nearly 29 yrs. Had our ups and downs, but never lost our sense of humour. As they say just breezing along. If you seriously have a probelm email me. Have friends who deal with this sort of thing who would be more than happy to advise you. Take care.