General Chat

Thanks Jack I think because I was only 80% happy with him anyway it's not been as bad as it could have, Don't get me wrong, done the whole drink too much, send pathetic text messages, etc but it made me feel worse. Last night I was strong, I was pleasant and although it was hard I felt better and better as the evening progressed. As they say "things can only get better" and I have so much to be thankful for, I really do.

Hi Bec, really feel for you hun. I had a boyfriend you treated me badly but I was too in love with him to see it. He dumped me and I couldn't eat, sleep, concentrate etc. I made an idiot of myself and begged him for weeks to come back, which he eventually did. He was even more selfish 2nd time round. One day I saw the light and dumped him. So glad I did as I am now with the most wonderful man who has made me realise even more so how rubbish my ex was. Don't settle for second best. I really believe that there is a Mr Right for us all (have to say I didn't really until I met him lol). Good for you joining the gym and getting your life sorted. Be strong and keep smiling xxx

Thanks Hal I did consider revenge for a long time. But i think it'd only make me feel happy for the short term. The ultimate revenge I can dish out would be to carry on, become the person I want to be, make my business successful and meet the RIGHT man. When he sees me happier without him - then revenge will have been served!

Bec, Remember the most irritating and annoying thing he used to do i/e nasty habits,Then in front of everybody,Ask her if he still does them,and how can she stand them. that might just about sort him.and remember,Revenge is best served "Cold".Best Wishes, Hal.

In the past I would drink too much, flirt with every other man around. Be very very publicly (sp?) upset and emotional. Ring him all night etc. NOT ANYMORE!!! He's made his choice now it's time for me to make mine! Onwards and upwards becxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grit your teeth girl and smile, he wont know what you are thinking. Try not to let him see you care, then go out the back and cry if you have to. Good luck ann Glos

Thanks Ann Until the earlier threads I hadn't even considered being around them. Was just going to hide away but now I've decided to be adult about it I feel a million times better. Sure it'll crush me to see them hold hands and kiss but better to see it, deal with it and get over it rather than torture myself sitting alone. I'll be working tonight (at the pub). I intend to have a quick chat with the ex and tell him that they must come out so we can all get along and not break our group up. God it'll be hard and I'll probably be upset tonight but better out than in! becx

Bec, It is going to be hard and you are going to have to be strong. Go out with your normal group, if there is an occasion to meet up when you know they will be there, make sure you are there early already chatting and laughing with friends before they arrive, acknowledge them -(just) with a nod, then go on talking, make sure they realise they are not important to you. Stay as if you are cheerful when they are there. You can cry when you get home and 'speak' to your friends on here who will be ready and waiting to support you through this. Good luck and make sure you enjoy the christmas festivities. Ann Glos

I totally agree Diana! I hope that when I meet my soulmate that our relationship will not contain mistrust, insecurities and lies. becx

I was due to get married when I was 24.... I suspected that he was being unfaithful but I just couldn't get proof... So I asked my guides above to let me know by January what road i should take.... they obviously gave it all they could as on Jan 2nd he called off the wedding and left!! It was hard, it did hurt, but then i could now be his ex-wife with 2 children having caught him in their bed for the 3rd time with other women.... which is exactly what happened to the poor cow that married him!! It all happens for a reason, we just don't know what that is yet!!

Sarah Im sorry but I dont know how you are coping with the uncertainty of everything!! What you have got to do though is decide what you are going to do one way or the other before you marry him!! Obviously I dont know what is behind your suspicions but if there is anything I can do Give us a shout!! Even if its only to listen Bev

i think bec that your boyfriend is very insensitive in bringing his new girlfriend along to gatherings with your friends.he should have left it for a while.i bet you are really hurt by this i would after two years together.my advice is to explain to your friends the situation and go out with them seperatly form when your boyfriend will be with them.they'll understandxxxx(:

Oh Sarah Sorry to hear. I thought something had been going on (denied it) and yet got straight with her. When I found out I literally felt my heart shrivelling up but in retrospct it's so much better knowing than torturing yourself with 'What if?' I have always said to myself that if you are not happy on your own then you will never be happy with someone else and this has convinced me even more. Be Strong! becx

Hi Bec Jeez that is really hard on you. I would not go out in the group for a couple of weeks the reason being that i know what i am like and would get completly drunk and end up knocking them both out. I am going through a hard time at the moment as i am unsure my fiance is being faithful, i have everything to lose, home and friends and money but if i find out then i do not mind losing all of those things if it means i will be happy in the long run, only question is i need to make a decision quick as the wedding is in June. You are doing the right things, joining a gym, you go Bridget lol. No good on you and i hope you find someone soon and then you can take him to the circle. The chances are he prob won't bring her to the circle just yet anyway and when he does i doubt they will stay for long as she will feel uncomfortable. Take care Sarah x

Go Girl!!!!! Like I said you may find yourself actually enjoying yourself....Proud of you Bev PS And keep telling yourself that he is not worthy!!

I'm not wonderful. You and these other great people who have helped me are! I truly would not be in the frame of mind i'm in now had it not been for you all! I have a lot to be grateful for this Christmas! becx

Oh Go Girl!! Me loved the last bit... will have to steal that for my own personal collection!! :O) We are so proud of you chick!!

Bec....your wonderful...goof for you honey all my love and huggles xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bev - I cannot imagine how hard that was for you but you, and the other messages on here have inspired me. * I just popped out and joined the gym next door. I need to lose a couple of stones but never did whilst with the ex- because he said i didn't need to (actually wanted to keep me unhappy with my body so I wouldn't run off with anyone else!) * I'm going to ring my mum and accept her invitation for Christmas Day. * I'm going to throw myself into my new job. *I'm not going to move away and start a new life (yet!) I'm going to bloody well work through this, Yes I will be on here feeling sorry for myself and down at times. BUT I will sit with my friends in that pub and invite him and Emma to join us. I will be friendly to her and him. I am going to survive this and not only that but I will be such a better person for it! All my love Becx <who has had a sudden inspiration> "At times you feel that you've lost a lot, in fact, you've gained a great deal. If you're looking for new directions take your time and consider all options - you may be better staying put, at least in the short-term. You've been given some wonderful opportunities to shape your own destiny and, even if a situation can't be solved, at least there is now a way out - and you will have things much more under control"

Bec the same thing happened to me a few years ago. The only difference was I was 7mth pregnant! Like you we had the same group of friends and I was damned if I was going to let them make me feel uncomfortable! The girl that he had actually left me for was just 16...10yrs younger than him. So I kept telling myself that it wasnt just her fault, when all was said and done she was just a kid! The worst moment came when they both walked in together, everybody just went quiet and looked at me. So there was nothing for it other than to smile sweetly and invited them to sit at our table! I think the fact that I hadnt blown my stack and knocked her round the room (which is what I really wanted to do) unnerved them more than anything and about an hour later they both left and never joined our company again. I cried buckets later that night but also felt very proud of myself!!! So stick your chin out and be both polite and cheerful! Try to act like you are not really bothered and I will be surprised if you dont actually end up enjoying yourself.....Good luck Bev