General Chat

GReat Elaine. LOL Christine

ROFLMAO Elaine behave woman Pat x

ok.....couldnt resist em...... Q: What's an Essex girls favorite wine? A: aw go-on take me to lakeside please please go-on take me Q: What's an Essex Girls form of protection? A: Bus Shelters Q: What's the difference between an Essex Girl and a Bag of Crisps? A: You only get one bang out of a bag of crisps Q: How may Essex girls does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?. A: Five. One to make the mixture and Four to peel the Smarties. Q: What does an Essex girl say after sex? A: "Do you really all play for the same football team?" Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an ironing board? A: An ironing boards legs are difficult to part. Q: What makes an Essex girls eyes light up? A: A torch shone in her ear. Q: What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl? A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own. An Essex girl is driving along and asks her boyfriend to kiss her somewhere warm, wet and smelly. He tells her that it's to late to drive to Canvey Island. Q: Why do Essex Girls wear knickers? A: To keep their ankles warm Q: How does an Essex girl get light? A: Open a car door. Q: How does an Essex girl turn the light off after sex? A: She closes the car door

Sylvia The Essex coast towns (uvva than praps Sarfend, which mainly acquired a Jewish intake) didn't pick up what is described, which date from the overspill exodus of the 1950s when farsands of East Enders migrated to the noo tarns of Arlow, Arold Ill an Basildern. The old prewar Essex country accent survives (just) in some areas, mainly in the east of the County amongst the marshes. Brian (brought up in Romford 1945-1971)

Brilliant Elaine...you want to hear me trying it with my Glaswegian/Edinburgh accent! LOL Christine

er Sylvia, It is a fun thread Elaine in Harlow Essex..(born in Norf Lundun ):o)))))

I just want you to know that I am an Essex girl, born and bred, and have never and would NEVER speak like that. It sounds more like the East End of London or Cockney, to me. My family, going back to my great grandmother, never spoke like that either. I am not a snob but just want to put it straight, that we don't all speak like that in Essex. I come from Walton-on-Naze, which is next door to Frinton-on-Sea, so that might have something to do with it. Best wishes from Sylvia, now living in Perth WA.

Andy - if you wanna get up ta date wiv the spiel, ya gotta watch Lock Stock or Snatch man, nartamean!!! Maz. XX

Great Elaine, narf enjoyed that lot, I did.LOL 'Ere Mary yafta larf, get told off for saying innit all the time its a terrible 'abit innit? LOL elli-Q-shun lessuns at skoowl didn't work then??? Pat x

Oh, forgot INNIT - 'Don't you think so?' as in 'Awesome, luv, innit?' (It's absolootly maahv-luss, dah-ling - dohn't you think soh?) CB >|<

'Ere, Andy, thass probly cos yer live in Poets Corner. Yer wanna gedout more an' do a bi' of earwiggin'! LoL CB >|< (oo woz subjected to elli-Q-shun lessuns at skoow) X

Well dun me gel,aint arf prad o ya, Baz xx

Very strange, the Essex accent and vocabulary ostensibly being East End of London. But now seeming to be more "mockney" than cockney. My Wife's family came from Homerton, Hackney and Bethnal Green, Southwark on the south side. But apart from a very deliberate dropping of the "H" they all had a very precise and quite cultured mode of speech compared to the "Essex" dialect. You don't often hear the true East End dialect these days.

wotovit????? yerravin allarf aintcha??? Maz. XX

Germaine Greer, "Long live the Essex girl" Guardian, 5 March 2001. The Essex girl is becoming more difficult to spot these days. She used to be conspicuous, as she clacked along the pavements in her white plastic stilettos, her bare legs mottled patriotic red, white and blue with cold, and her big bottom barely covered by her denim miniskirt. Essex girls usually come in twos, both behind pushchairs with large infants in them. Sometimes you hear them before you see them, cackling shrilly or yelling to each other from one end of the street to the other, or berating those infants in blood-curdling fashion. Occasionally they are accompanied by the hangdog sire of their child, more often by a mother, who is simply a 16 or 17 years older version of themselves. All parties bar the infants will have a cigarette going. The Essex girl is tough, loud, vulgar and unashamed. Her hair is badly dyed not because she can't afford a hairdresser, but because she wants it to look brassy. Nobody makes her wear her ankle chain; she likes the message it sends. Nobody laughs harder at an Essex girl joke than she does: she is not ashamed to admit what she puts behind her ears to make her more attractive is her ankles. She is anarchy on stilts; when she and her mates descend upon Southend for a rave, even the bouncers grow pale. Her existence and her style make nonsense of the Labour rhetoric about "social exclusion". She does not see herself as outside society; she sees herself as belonging to the real world of family loyalty, sexual unpredictability, underemployment and petty crime, and the Blairs as pious, condescending and self-deluding. I think she's great. The Essex girl neither knows nor cares that she is the target of the nastiest kind of misogyny. If nerdy men revenge themselves by emailing truly disgusting jokes to Essex girls websites, it's pretty much their problem. It was a great old Essex girl who told GMTV that she "hoped" it was Lisa who shot Phil Mitchell, against hope, alas. Lisa is too whiney and self-pitying to qualify as an Essex girl (or to shoot Phil Mitchell). EastEnders has to take part of the blame for Essex girls going underground because Mel, who is a genuine Essex girl, buys her clothes at Miss Selfridge and looks more like a young executive than a barmaid. Essex girls have no ambition to be pseudo-high-class gangster totty. Any Essex girl with a bosom as unimpressive as Mel's would wear a padded bra.

O'k i did some practising. Hi. Debbie its been a long trip from Oz, a'v ya gotta place where i can BAVE. I erd ya FARVA's not been well. Ow's ya sister KAFFY been? I was oping ya might take me round the MANOR, Ta. When i got orf the plane, some yelled at me, "pull ya ead in Ozzie" I thought that was a bit ROOFLESS. So i said to him, WAWAZUT. How am i doin!!! Tony Oz xx

Thanx for these. I hope you dont mind if i copy and paste. Coming to Essex in Sept, from Oz, unless i win the LOTREE!! So I'm going to go practice now, so i can impress my relo's in Essex. Ta. Tony Oz

Brilliant, Elaine! There's NARF as well - meaning 'extremely' - NARF cold out today! CB >|<

LMAO!! As an essex girl! lol xx

A-Z of ESSEX English ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building. ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon, She'll have an art attack." ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times to clear up yer room." BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a club."Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa." BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar. BAVE - To wash oneself. BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is the reply. BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent. CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter from the cancel." CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money. CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with mayonnaise. CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda) DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical. DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives. DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is. DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next race?" EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty." EJOG - A small, spiky animal (hedgehog). ERZ - Belonging to her. EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer, usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles." EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual. FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament. FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad. FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 - 1990. FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off wiv fingy last night." FONG - Skimpy undergarment. FOR CRYIN AT LAAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. E.G."For cryin at lad, Britney, if I say Yes will you give it a rest?" GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer good." GIVE IT LARGE - To be thorough or enthusiastic. GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the grand." HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I. IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island. IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last munf's a bit iffy." INT - Indirect suggestion. " I gave Darren a sort of int that it was time to wash iz feet." IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels."That Mars Bar will go straight to me ips." JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon." JACKS - Five Pound note. "Lend us a jacks, wilya?" JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?" KAF - Eating house open during the day. KAFFY - A girl's name. LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad." LARJ - Enjoying oneself. LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal. LOTREE - Costs £1 for a ticket. MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park. MAFFS - The study of numbers. MANOR - Local area. MINGER - An unattractive person (usually woman). NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand but changed er mind. That was a narra escape." NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean). NEEVA - Not one nor the other. NES - National Elf Service. OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment. OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure. ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist." OPPIT - Go away , as in "Oi you, oppit." PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but they got a padda puff defence." PACIFIC - Specific. PAFFUL - Having much power or strength. PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc. PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system. PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread. QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West 'Am's new striker's qualidee." RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group. RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer." REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp it. I was on the reband from Craig." ROOFLESS - Without compassion. SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north. SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town. SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved. SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed." TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to eye up the talent." TAN ASS - A modern terraced house. TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's well top evvy." UG - An unattractive person. "Sharon's new geezer's a bit of an ug." UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump. VACHER - A document which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I got a vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park." WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment." WAWAZUT? - I beg your pardon. WENNOFF - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff". YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating circumstances." YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night. ZAGGERATE - To suggest something is better or bigger than is true."Craig, I must've told ya a fazzund times already." "Don't zaggerate, mum."