General Chat

Just a few days ago, we finally buried the ashes of my husband who died a month prior to the first lockdown.

As you probably have guessed, I AM religious :-D

My husband had been a vicar for over 40 years and had chosen to be cremated. Over the years, he had conducted hundreds of burials/cremations - each one a personal choice of the deceased. Either way, we return to dust.

I wanted to give him the sort of funeral he would have liked and which was partly planned. It was fabulous. Packed church, Holy Communion and good hymns. It gave the people whom he had served so faithfully, a chance to be together and remember him, in a setting they were used to and comfortable with.

This was followed by cremation and then a buffet lunch back at church.

For two years, the ashes remained at the undertakers (whom he had known since they were children).

Our children and I decided that it was now time to inter the ashes in a small plot which he had chosen when he retired (and which had been previously agreed by the church council) in the churchyard of our last parish.

So, a week last Saturday, there was a simple service in the church with the clergy who had been at the funeral and who were family friends, before the interment took place outside. It was snowing....yes really! I was surprised to see that so many parishioners from both the parish we left and the parish where we have been worshipping since retirement, came to support us.

There had been no official invitations - it was simply through word of mouth. It gave me comfort to see how much he had been loved and respected.

There will be a headstone for him but I don't think I will make it into a 'shrine' if you know what I mean. He has never moved from my heart, I carry him with me. <3

Cx :-)

Sounds lovely Cynthia and a beautiful tribute to him

They will always be with us in our hearts and memories

Lost hubby in2015 after 60 years together and 58 years married and its still tough him not being here

Cynthia, that was a lovely way of remembering him. My grandfather was a Baptist minister and at his funeral service his church was packed with parishioners and many whom he had helped over the years. I think there was over 500 people which was vast. He chose to be cremated and his ashes scattered in the rose garden as they were his favourite flowers.

I had a very religious upbringing going to both Church of England Primary and Secondary school where we had assembly and prayers everyday until I left school at 18.

After that, I felt I knew all I wanted to know about religion in the traditional sense and went on to discover other avenues which appealed to me more. I don't preach what I believe as its a personal thing to each individual.

But we certainly do have many different ways of remembering our loved ones from reading all your comments.

Shirley ,I cant believe it was 2015!!! Seems only like very recently, time flies by doesn't it.

Many people though i'm finding out are happy to be cremated and then have the ashes buried maybe with another family member, this is what my father wants.

The only thing I have thought about is what happens when the green spaces are gone? Up here the old graveyard is full up so they started a new cemetery on an adjacent piece of land but in time the land will run out so what will happen then I wonder.

I guess cremations alleviate this if the ashes are kept by family members.

Thankyou for all the different opinions on the subject, very varied and interesting.

Florence in the hebrides

Yes Florence. Time certainly flies

6 years that seem like last year but then a lifetime ago <3