General Chat

Have you seen the new NSPCC advertisement? I was interested to see that the operator found it so awful that a mother was threatening her little child that she would damage their teddy

I am on a number of support sites for the children of narcissists and we all agreed that that was just an everyday event for most of us.

It is very hopeful to see something like this, showing that psychological abuse is being noticed, reported and dealt with. Maybe, one day, it won't happen.

I have seen it Sharron. It seemed tjat the person who reported it was distressed by the menace in the woman's voice
, I was pleased that she then took the time and trouble of phoning the NSPCC

Hopefully more people will now come forward if they witness such abuse.

Oh,Tessa,I do hope so.

In most cases, mental abuse is worse than physical abuse.

I haven’t seen it but in adult life I realised one of my school friends suffered that from her mother, but didn’t know it at the time.

I agree totally Maggie having been through it myself with my so called Mother :-(

'A child who suffers, mentally and/or physically, at the hand of a parent rarely recovers from the abuse.' :-(

Heartbreaking!

Those wicked individuals have been able to operate with impunity because what they did was secret and generally unbelievable.

The problem still is, children, especially only children, who are mentally abused think it's 'normal'.
Those with siblings, who the abused child may notice aren't treated like them, will, very often, be convinced it's 'their fault'.

There is narcissism throughout my extended family, one both sides, so I grew up seeing it all around me.

I've worked out my mum's mum was narcissistic to my mum.
My mum was narcissistic towards me.
I didn't notice it at the time - my siblings are 5, 6 and 7 years older, so it was easy to convince me it was my fault. Also, mum wasn't at all cuddly to any of us.
When I mentioned it to my sister a few years back, she said I was imagining it.
In 1984, mum got some money and gave us all a share.
Sister mentioned the amount 'we were all given' (apparently the same amount) - enough for her and one brother to put down a deposit on a house, and for the other to travel to, and go to University in America. Not me.

Two years ago, at a family gathering (mum died years ago) my eldest brother - normally a quiet, unassuming, peaceful fellow, not prone to 'stirring' finally said it - 'Mum was a b*tch to you'. 'Since when' was my reply. 'Forever' he said.

I keep checking with my children that I was fair to them - apparently I was! <3
Well, to be honest, I couldn't speak to my mum the audacious way they speak to me, so I did something right! :-D :-D :-D

I was aware of the difficult family situation of a little girl I used to know almost 20 years ago when the little girl would have been around 8 years old. She was at the time along with her 4 year old brother living with a kinship carer. Up until this point she had defended her mother to hilt but she finally admitted everything that had happened at home and it was heartbreaking.

She finally admitted everything because she wanted to stay with the kinship carer. Suddenly she got three meals everyday, clean clothes for school and someone to help with homework or hear her reading. Things that most children I know now take as a given.

You are a scout leader aren't you,Tawny?

Do you get any sort of training in noticing things wrong with children?

The scapegoat children of narcissists probably would not ever get to go to somethin like scouts or guides though. they do tend to employ a parenting style of isolate and destroy!

I was a Brownie and Rainbow leader for 17 years. I had 2 girls from the same family who had a mother who spoke to them like s**t and treated them worse than the family dog. I did report it to our District Commissioner who went to the appropriate authorities and had it dealt with. Having had that treatment all my life I could not see it carry on for those poor loves. In my so called mother's eyes my sister had stars shining out of her a*** and I was the lowest of the low

I do have rainbows and brownies and it will be 20 years in August. We do have some training and guiding do have a safe from harm team. This wasn't guiding related though. I was doing a placement in a school nursery at the time. Around half the nursery children were kept at school over lunchtime to make sure they got a hot meal that day.

Around a third of the children had social workers and most of the others had to get visits from the nursery staff who had been trained in social work. The ones who got visits from the nursery staff were the ones whose home life was not considered ideal but far from the worst.

My mums parents divorced when my mum was small and my grandad used to make my mum feel guilty if she wanted to see her mum. As a result my mum has no relationship with her mum now. My mums way of dealing with this is to smother us so we never doubt how much we're loved.

To my regret and, well, shame as well, the daughter of a neighbour was treating one of he sons as a scapegoat and I just did not know what to do about it.

Had nobody believed me, I would have been a pariah in the community, they are a big, far-reaching family who are full of their own importance and the family does have narcissism in it, just like mine.

Now that there are advertisements like this one being shown, I hope it will make people aware of just what does go on under their noses when they can't believe what they see.

Can't believe or is it that they choose to ignore it to keep the peace :-(

I really think the behaviour is so bizarre they can't believe it is really happening.

The behaviour certainly is strange so it is hard to believe

Well, there is no logic to it is there?