General Chat

*gets a coffee and sits patiently waiting!*

Oh he is a tease isn't he.....

Maybe we should make it up ourselves....


So..

The Unruly masses could smell the fear and slowly gathered around Allan and the cases...meanwhile OH on her quest for food found only Sushi and day old Sushi at that........

then she spotted a special offer on biscuits, she bought all the special offer biscuits and raced to Allan.

Allan was almost hidden by the massing hord - fearing the worst OH threw the biscuits down and the masses pounced on them allowing them to escape - they ran but they didn't know where they were running to :-0 until ...........

...Allan suddenly felt like he was floating in the air and running on the spot in mid air it suddenly dawned on him....he was over the water he'd found the dockside...but alas no boat and no cases, because neither Allan nor OH could run and carry all of Allan cases.....Allan dropped.......

the cases into the water, one floated so they grabbed it and used it to get to the side and get back onto dry ground. In horror they looked at some dolphins swimming past and they were going through their cases and laughing at their clothes.

Alan looked at his OH and knew they would have to get some dry clothes to get on the boat but where would he find some ........................

...as luck would have it a passing fishing trawler happened by. The skipper just happened to be on his way to the charity shop to get rid of old clothes. They were rather large but "any port in a storm" said Allan as OH glared at him. "Flares are back in fashion aren't they?" declared Allan...."You've always looked great in floral print".

OH found a fish head and.........

dropped it into the hood of the kagool Allan had put on, she smirked as he was sat next to a heater and the fish would soon start smelling - I might get a cruise on my own she thought. Her thoughts were abruptly curtailed as they heard a coach pulling up and out poured very posh looking people.

"Where do we go to join the cruise" one asked a port official, the official pointed to where Alan and his OH where sat on orange boxes.

"That's the start of the queue where those vagabonds are sat, we'll eject them now"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Allan trying to find the tickets................

"...now where did I put them?" Allan thought as his fingers touched something crumbled up in his pocket. "Oh no".....they were papermachie....
OH glared at Allan then smirked......she suddenly remembered she'd kept her ticket for safety...and the safest place she had thought of??? under her hat which as she hated getting her hair wet had stayed dry throughout their trawler ordeal....

"Officer I think you'll find this is my ticket" OH said handing it over..

"Sorry madam but this one says Allan on it"......

Allan smirked he'd switched them just in case........

OH screamed........


(You know Allan is sitting back and letting us do this as he's too lazy to tell us the truth)

"Pssssssssssssssst! Lady take this package aboard to my friend and I'll get you a ticket." A voice from the shadows said, a ticket and a small package in a dirty hand shot out from behind a shed door. The writing on the package said for the head of storage.

OH agreed snatched the ticket and package, she ran after Allan and dropped the small package into the hood with the fish head.

Allan can tell us how he gets out of this................ ;-) :-S

would explain why he's not telling us...limited time online/one phone call situation.... :-)

:-D :-D :-D :-D ;-) Right all explained

Well, what a couple of Scheherazade's you two are ;-)

However, you are well off the mark.

The unruly masses could not smell the fear only the sweat, and kept their distance :-P

Having been corporeally refreshed we made our way to the passenger terminal and I mentally thanked my wife for purchasing new suitcases for the trip. (I wasn't going to thank her verbally as that would show signs of affection on my part) which actually had wheels on them and could be pulled, pushed, and generally controlled.

Our walk through the Fremantle Port was unusually quite and as we approached the terminal expecting to see our ship, we were met by a grinning security officer and a completely empty car park :-0

"Just go to that building directly in front of you," he said with a faint snigger, "And don't bother to follow the arrows, you can walk straight across."

We had thought that at three o'clock the whole area would be a hive of activity, but, no, apart from the security guard, we were the only living things around, a very surreal experience.

Until, that is, we approached the Terminal when, suddenly, about twenty people appeared several of whom approached us and aske if we were passengers for the still missing ship.

I would have thought that the two great suitcases we were lugging around may have given them a clue, but I was not going to question the intelligence of the enquirers at that particular moment as one rather hefty female (I think :-S) grabbed both cases as though they were made of balsa wood and contained nothing more than mere wisps of clothing, and hurried off out of sight.

When we eventually got into the terminal there were already a few fellow passengers who did not appear well pleased :-(

This could well be because, unlike us, nobody had advised them that the ship had been delayed and they had turned up at the original embarkation time.

I not only felt sorry for these poor souls but also for those on board the ship who may have booked some of the shore excursions to such places as Margaret River, which is a good three hours from Perth, and therefore would not take place.

The ship eventually entered the port at about 1530, but due to its size, more about that soon, it took a good threequarters of an hour to actually berth.

The anticipation started growing, as did the number of passengers embarking at Fremantle.

The ship, the 'Ovation of the Seas' is the biggest cruise ship currently operating in Australian waters and of course for a first visit to Western Australia, the press and tv news people were all over the terminal like ants

Long story short, we eventually embarked at about six thirty and were told that our cases would be in our cabin 'very soon' but that we first had to attend the obligatory safety briefing. Went to the cabin to look for the life-jackets, which on a previous cruise you had to take with you to the briefing.

No life-jackets! :-S

We searched high and low until we found, in very small print on the back of a wardrobe door that life-jackets would be issued, in the event of an emergency, at our designated assembly point :-0

Too bl**dy bad if the ship started sinking before we could reach that point :-|

:-D Have to admit I had to look that one up to see if it was an insult to us both :-D :-D
You know you love it really Allan, you're welcome we tried our best to fill in for you...

Sounds thrilling so far so what else could possibly go wrong??

What else could possibly go wrong?

You're talking about the Mortimer Family :-|

What else could possibly go right! :-P

For example I just typed out the saga of our first night at sea and suddenly the whole thing vanished :-S

To recap

We had dinner in one of the four serviced restaurants where I earned my first black mar for complaining about the Chicken Kiev, which had been no closer to Russia than the borders of Kentucky, was as tough as old boots and must have been shown a clove of garlic before said clove was returned to the pantry.

Breakfast was marginally better and here we were regaled with horror stories about the embarkation procedure, or lack of one, in Singapore, which made our embarkation seem like the pinnacle of highly organised process.

After breakfast OH quietly informed me that she had to return to the cabin and hurried away.

By the time I got there she had thrown up both breakfast and the previous evening's dinner and was on the bead groaning.....and not in any rapturous style :-0

The dreaded Mal de mer had struck

Friday was spent with OH alternating between vomiting and sleeping and me sitting on the day bed.

I couldn't even enjoy the balcony as it was too cold outside :-|

around evening time OH eventually recovered sufficiently to complain that she felt thirsty, hence our trip to the bar and our purchase of the only alcohol consumed during our time at sea :-S

I should add that the ship is normally based in America so all prices were in American dollars.

As the Aussie dollar has tumbled a fairway down against the greenback we had to keep recalculating all the prices we saw..

What else could go wrong, you ask?

Well okay...fair enough...but at least you didn't sink......or did you???

Masonic duties call this morning, but I will resume normal service later :-D

:-D :-D

Think our version is better so far Caroline ;-) :-D :-D :-D

Yes, Pat, but yours is fable, mine is fact :-P :-D :-D