General Chat

I am just looking on the Bookers site to price up the village lunch and one of the new products they have is professional toilet rolls.

Are there ways of making a living I never thought possible?

Makes you wonder what a professional toilet roll is and what do the rest of the population use? Unprofessional toilet paper??????? :-)

I use recycled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its the only thing that dos'nt block our drains as we have a septic tank.

I'm sorry, I had to 'google' Professional toilet paper, to see how they justify their claims - here are the results:

"Lotus Tork Professional Toilet Rolls comes in a range from Mini Jumbo, Jumbo Toilet Roll ".

Is that for elephants?
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"Enigma professional toilet rolls are ideal for use in washroom environments where a conventional toilet roll is required."

So, what is an 'unconventional' toilet roll? :-S
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"Sirius Professional are a PURE tissue 320 SHEET PREMIUM TOILET ROLLS are made from virgin pulp"

Do they really pulp virgins? :-0 :-0 :-0 :-0
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"The Tork Lotus Professional Toilet Rolls and Paper Products range is perfect for businesses who are dedicated to providing quality supplies to their customers."

Anyone who doesn't use it is decidedly unprofessional, then! :-D :-D
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The best one is Kimberley-Clarke, who also provide:

"Kimberley-Clarke Professional Toilet Paper Hostesses!"

- Visions of a woman in classic 1950's clothes stood by the toilet handing out toilet paper to a bloke in a bowler - but, of course, being a 'Professional Hostess', she has the necessary qualifications! :-S :-S :-S

I wondered if it was for people who get paid to wipe their own bum.

How long do you need to train for that profession?

It's probably not too long - one doesn't want to be caught short.
It shouldn't be too expensive, either - a penny or two :-D :-D

I'd be happier if the damn things were not an inch narrower than our toilet roll holders.

You'd think that for something that is used, and presumably exported, all over the World there would be an international standard.

If the toilet rolls get any narrower they'll end up as paper ribbons !!

When I was a lot younger we read the local newspaper then tore it into squares

which later used as toilet paper. Must of had printers ink all over our cheeks. :-S

Teach your bum to read eh?

The technique for efficiency was to crumple the paper first :-)

Brian .......... toilet rolls are getting narrower all over the world.

We had our 2 bathrooms renovated in 2006, bought new toilet roll holders. The rolls then were about 1" narrower than the rod, now they are getting close to 3" narrower :-|

they are also fluffing up the paper making it appear thicker, giving he illusion you are getting a bigger roll for your money!

This conversation is really going down the pan...

Interestingly enough, the topic of the size of toilet rolls came up during our coffee break yesterday afternoon ..............

we can now buy regular rolls or double-sized rolls. The latter say they contain twice as many sheets as the regular (or single) roll.

One of the guys said he didn't believe that they really were double, and one day when he had nothing to do, he was going to count the number of sheets in a double roll :-D

One day......when he's really ill, and 'stationed' on the loo :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Izal used to be shiny on one side, inefficient for wiping purposes :-S

Rough side always, wiping and tracing but not in that order.

:-D :-D :-D

People only eventually learn that when they've used half the roll.

Is there anything worse than none ? Then it's priceless.

You can't make a musical instrument with a comb and modern paper.