Genealogy Chat

When my mum was pregnant with my brother, my father had a short fling with a woman, as a result a child was born and he is a few years older than my brother. I have found his birth, but how would I find out where he now lives? He is now 18 and wouldn`t know where to start. Also worried that If I found where he lived, that he wouldn`t want to know! Help!!!

Hi Kerry, do you know what his mothers name is? kaz

Kerry As he is 18 he should be on the electoral roll now, and possibly someone could do a look up, though you might want to e-mail them privately. As to whether he wants to know about you or not - it may come as a shock to him - or he may know about his father's other family. Either way, I think it would be best to write a letter first. That way he can get over his initial shock/reaction and then its up to him whether or not he contacts you. nell

Yes I know his mothers name! Am having some diffculty which is why I came here...bit lost!!

have you done a name search on GR for both him and his mother? Kaz

no neither are on here, they are in my tree but no info, I know his D.O.B but nothing for the mum...hmmm

there is a programme called UKINFO..it gives all adresses in UK..look up by name...adress or even phone number..im not sure what year it looks from..i have only played with the programme so far..

Is that a programme you`ve brought?

yes kerry...its a really good programme..for finding people now..but i am not sure how recent yet..

I was in a slightly similar situation. My grandfather was born in 1924 and then put into a home in 1926. He died in 1977, but spent many years trying to trace his parents and rumoured other siblings. 78 years later I managed to trace his first cousins and found one of them on an electoral role. I wrote a letter and a week later had a reply. My grandfather did have other siblings, but no one knew of his existence at all, as for some reason she kept his older sister and brother who were later adopted by my great grandmother second husband. Apparently they was also put into care (but under the care of a relative not in a home) and she for some reason got them back, but left my grandfather in the home. So now 78 year later, his older sister is now deceased but his brother is alive and living and is 82 and he also has a half brother who is 76. So you can imagine the dilemma my grandfather first cousins were in when I contacted them. But because I wrote them a letter, i did not put them in any awkward situation and it was up to them whether they contacted me or not and thankfully they did, as I would not of known about all this family my grandfather never knew he had. His cousins decided to tell his siblings, and I think they are all now over the initial shock, and are pleased I make contact. We are arranging a get together in the spring/summer time and I cannot wait.

On the links page here at GR there is a link to scots roots, on their page they have a link to a UK Adoption Register - maybe you have alread tried this, but it looks like siblings can register there. - Karen

I`ve found 2 addresses, an address in his mums name and an address with his iniatal and surname PLUS a number....should I call?? I can`t...too scared!!!

settle down..think a little..then decide...when you feel calmer...is my advice kerry..:)

I wouldn't call. I would write a letter, as it then leaves it in his hands, as to whether he makes contact or not. If you call, you will then put him in an awkward situation.

Karen. I am not sure the adoption register would help her, as he doesn't appear to of been adopted as he is with his mother.

your right...i`ll write a letter

i hope it all works out really well for you kerry..im sure it will lass:)

Hi Kerry, I have just found my half sister. The difference was that she had registered on this site. She knew nothing about her dad and was thrilled to make contact and see photos of him as his name had been taboo. I always wanted to contact her but thought she might be anti us as a family because her dad had left her mum. Anyway, you never know how someone is going to react and I think a letter is a good start. Is he registered with his dad name on the birth certificate. If he is you could perhaps tackle it softly and say you are researching the family history of your dad's name and you are wondering if he is related. Georgina

Hi Kerry, What about sending a letter to his mother, she may be able to fill you in on what he knows about his father. Do you know if she re-married? I also have the uk info disk 2004 let me know if you need a look up. Good Luck with your search. Sheila

He does know about us and so does his mum as she wrote a letter to my mum and sent photos, thats how mum found out about them.