Genealogy Chat

Like you all I've experience the non-repliers but have mostly had very polite replies from people I've mailed. Incidently, one very odd but not rude thing that happened.......... I'd a request a good few weeks ago to view my tree. This persons name did not show up under my contacts so I PM'd them asking them to reply to that, thinking they would then be in my contacts....Nope! Anybody got any clues to whats went on here? I always thank people for taking the time to reply to a PM. Good manners cost nothing. Those automated replies are so abrasive and I get quite miffed when I recieve one, they would beas well saying 'Get stuffed'. It may indeed not be their relative but they do not need to be rude about it. After all, if they had PM'd me, I more than likely would have tried to help even though it wasn't one of mine. Like Ann I do not understand why people have joined this particular website if they do not wish to participate/share/help. Isn't that the point? I suppose some people are just proverbial takers but they'll get sussed pretty quickly on here. The GR Community is only as good as the people who use it - thankfully the majority are still worth their weight in gold. Jan

Forgot to mention I realized after I had sent him all my info that I had made a mistake I thought when he contacts me to say thanks for all that, I will tell him what the mistake was and rectify it for him, GUESS WHAT !!!. Still I have made some lovely contacts through this site and had some great photo's and information that I would never have got otherwise. Chris.

I too have definate contacts through hot matches or even names in my tree that I know are second cousins, but not even a reply saying they are not interested in contact, but the worst one was a man who contacted me through my grandfathers name, I sent him all the information I had on the family also every census 1841-1901 and not even a thank you !!! OH WELL that's their loss

Hi all, Is it possible that there is a mail prob within Genes. I have not had any mail re new contacts, hot matches or new names at all since 26th May. It's highly possible that non repliers arent replying cause they never got the mail in the first place, and therefore dont log onto the site to see if they have any new messages. I also noticed a few threads a week or so ago about some others having the same problem. I emailed support and they are looking in to it. Regarding replying, I always reply politely. If we find a positive match I give them my email addy, and we remain in contact. The ones I hate are: Betty Boo was my ggg grandmother. No hello, no is there a possible connection. I feel like replying ' so what? Whhoopdee do' LOL

My family must just be particularly rude. Many do get in touch, take what I send and disappear into the blue yonder. One bloke recently contacted me via hot matches saying sending me what you have on my great grandmother X with no please or introduction. Ignoring the rudeness I sent copies of letters that our shared ancestor had written, wills, photos and took him back another 100 years and never even got a thank you. Another recently promised loads but after I sent all my information off he too failed to respond. Do people who try again get results from these people? It would be useful if Genes put out reminders about courtesy with the hot match e mails or if we could rate members like on e bay. Off to de grump and enjoy the weather now! Pete

i always reply to any messages that i get apologising if its not the same day, but i have sent loads of messages and never had a reply, some people obviously dont use the site as it was intended.

Since adding my Nan's ancestors to my tree six weeks ago I've found four descendants of my Gt Grandfather's seven siblings through 'Hot Matches' who I would never have found out about any other way, so for me it's been a resounding success! However, un-connected with the above, I too have experienced the bitter disapointment of not receiving replies to e-mails sent. I really don't understand why these people joined GR in the first place

I have had a few hot matches with my tree and have always replied even if they have not been connected to my tree. I have had one bad incident because of this I do not always open up my tree. Also a very lucky one and found a 2nd cousin who lives in Australia, we are now in constant contact. But because of the comments I have read on this site over a period of time and the one bad incident, I decided not to add any more peeps onto my tree on GRU. I now rarely receive any hot matches which suits me fine. I also believe that luck does not come around twice. I also think GRU could help the situation by matching up more details than just names this would help everyone. Gwen

It could be that the person with whom you have a 'match' is no longer a GR member, or is ill, or is away on business, or holiday............ Reg

For the first time in ages i had contacts through hot matches,i replied to them all within a couple of days,but they were all 'automated' questions . Interestingly all the messages granted me access to trees before i replied and only one is a possible link,(and i have more details than the other tree owner,it's not a direct line for me but is for them). Because i have a few baptisms that fit 'missing' gaps from the census returns however i am deemed to be totally incorrect.(the quote being that if they aren't on the census they aren't family).Even though i also have corresponding birth and death refs that fall between census. Glen

Hot Matches, I never bother looking any more as i find them to be a waste of my time, How ever, a possible reason for not getting a reply is that if they are not a paying member, they may think that they cannot reply as they are not paid up members, but they can reply, they just cannot Initiate the contact Roy

One problem I found is that enquires were on the increase after TV programmes on the subject. It would appear that people start off with good intentions but when they realise the time, effort and expense of what to them is a hobby, they give up. Shame as I know that because of the unusualness [is that a word?] of their surname, there is a distinct possibility that we are related. I have had requests from people wanting me to give them everything I have on a family. NO WAY I have found people with virtually zero info wanting info. That I have no problem with. We all have to start somewhere BUT I do detest those that can answer but refuse to do so. I give then 6 weeks and then make a note I have contacted them and delete them from my listing. If they then contact me at a later date for info, I ask THEM what info they have before I offer info. Funny though I never here from them again.

I've had that problem and the person I am trying to contact is related to me. I have got so far on with OUR tree now and would be more than willing to share with them but I haven't had a single reply to my emails. I wondered whether the email address had changed and that was why I was getting nowhere waiting for replies. But we do need our active email address to log in so that's not the problem. If the person isn't a paying member, would we be able to email them in the first place? Or would it be that they just weren't able to reply via Genes if they weren't paying members? Who knows! It is frustrating too, my brick wall has been WAISNIS which some of you may have seen and this person is related on that side of the family. Ah well, just gotta keep on waiting. Lyn x x

There is one lady, who is constantly adding people from my family, including my great grandparents, and every week there is a new match, I have mailed her a few times, and I KNOW she comes on the site because of the new names, but never get a reply.

I contacted someone regarding a potential ancestor, all looked good, seemed to be the same person that we had in our trees, and then got a message from them saying 'what EXACTLY is it you want to know?' I was so taken aback - I couldn't face contacting them again. Lisa

Karen 'This is not my relative' is one of those awful automated replies which were written by the GR office junior on a bad day. I wish they would get rid of them!

Thanks very much for your answers i'll make a note to contact her again in a couple of weeks and if no reply again after a couple of weeks will take it that she is either not a full member or is no longer a member. Thanks again Jennie

Jennie Having been a newbie myself - like we all have, and mustn't forget that! - I'm sure that you haven't irritated anyone with your request, especially if you have been so polite. What is annoying is when people haven't even looked anywhere themselves first, or give only very vague information, or are rude in their requests. It seems to be a common problem with people not responding to matches, and I can never understand why. If people don't reply, I do what someone else on here said, allow them 2-3 weeks for holiday or illness etc, and then email them again. If there's still no reply, that's it, I don't bother. Saying that, I've had several really good contacts on all branches of my tree and am now in regular contact with quite a few of them. Don't give up hope! Mandy :)

I haven’t noticed it specifically with Hot Matches, but I’ve tried contacting people identified by searching family trees and I’d estimate about 50% of them never reply. My guess is that they are people who signed up at one time (possibly several years ago) and who have since stopped using this site. Unfortunately, their family tree information is still here - it's particularly frustrating when you're pretty sure you have a common relative. Tim

yes i must admit i have had the same trouble myself have the same people in my tree as the other persons and yet have got no replies the strange thing i found with a couple of people is they have let me see their tree which i did not ask but yet they cannot be bothered to send a reply back and these people that have done this i havnt had a clue where our connections are because their trees are too big to know.but on the brighter side of things i must say i have had some lovely who have replied to me and we have been related and able to share our information so my advice is its their loss in the end and you will gain in the long run from people that are bothered kerry ann