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Why didn't we ask questions?

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Gaille

Gaille Report 8 Dec 2008 01:31

Karen, I wish I could wind back the clock so much to the day my grandad started telling me about his family, and I wish SO much I could have recorded it, I really regret going to that new years eve party now!

George, I agree, I wish I had taled to my other grandad about what happened to him in the war, he died in 1977, officialy from other causes, but he was sick from the day he was discharged from the army, and he was pretty much confined to the house much of my childhood, so many oppertunities to talk wasted.

Polly, I am finding now my Brother & Sister have children of their own they are much more interested in where they came from (something that I have always been interested in) and they are asking more questions, my sister-in-law actually asked me if I would work with her mum to do a complete tree for my niece, lol a daunting thought as we both have over 8 generations in our trees on at least 3 sides............. I think its wonderful they are getting involved now, and my nephew & neice will both have as much info as I can get for them when they are old enough to understand it, we all talk to them about family stories now so hopefully they will grow up knowing about at least 2 generations - and my neice also has a living great-great grandma she knows.

Gwyn, lol I do that too! ............. a lot of my relatives came from an area near my brothers house, I quite often stop & look at addresses, and when I am asked why I explain "this is the house grandad was born in" or "great grandads shop was in this position" or whatever ............. lol the best was when I was driving thru rural Cheshire, took an 'accidental' wrong turn & then 'accidentaly' found the village my grandads family had lived in for over a hundred years, and the church Great grandad & his family had worshipped & married in............. didnt do it on purpose honest lol it was purely an accident I turned just there hehe


Gail

Gaille

Gaille Report 8 Dec 2008 01:46

Susie lol, yeah sounds like they are related!

I had a lovely email via GR from a lady from her hotmatches, I was about to dismiss it cos I didnt think that it was right, she was asking about my 'Smith' relatives and if they had lived in Warrington, and mentioned the name 'Bibby'...... I was telling dad about it & he turned around & said "My Granny Smith had family called Bibby and she used to take me to visit them in Warrington" ........... next thing he is stood by my computer "ask her if she has a Billy, Lilly or William Bibby in her tree, thats my grannys family"

I am currently struggling to pin down DOB's for some of my nanas siblings, lol Smith aint the easiest name to search ............. I was trying to work out who was who, dad looks over my shoulder ....... "you have uncle Fred & Uncle Tom in the wrong order .......... hmm & wheres Lilly, & why dont you have My cousins xxx & xxx on there " .................. hmmm maybe cos I only just found out about them 10 seconds ago?

hmmm & in the 20+ years I have been trying to do this tree he has NEVER said this! ............... when i asked why the answer was "I thought you knew" ....... how he thought this I have no idea -

LOL I swear my family think I was BORN knowing things , or I learn them by Osmosis!

Gail

Caz

Caz Report 8 Dec 2008 01:55

My biggest regret is that I didn't go to London this summer to visit my great-aunt who was 95 as I had planned to do. Apparently she loved to talk about the old days and I had loads of questions I wanted to ask her. But things cropped up and I never went to see her and we sadly lost her in October.

My maternal grandmother liked to talk about her family and even took me to visit the graves of her parents and siblings who died in childhood. As it turns out I knew more about my gran and her family than my mum did as like others have said you didn't ask personal questions of your elders.

My dad on the other hand is a nightmare. He knows absolutely nothing about his parents early lives, his grandparents or anything else regarding his family. He must have spent his entire childhood with his fingers in his ears lol. It doesn't help that his maternal grandfather had a really common surname and lived in London so I have not been able to trace his family on the census. I'm hoping for a breakthrough one day. Aren't we all? lol.

Caz

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 8 Dec 2008 03:43

My family was the same ...... don't ask questions and you won't be told any lies!!


My grandfather fought in WW1, in "Mesopotamia". My mother was 10 when the war started, so was old enough to know things. We had a short sword that she told me grandfather had picked up on the battlefield, and she also had a dried flying fish that "flew onto the ship bringing granddad back to England, he dried it and gave it to me". But that is all that I know. I have no idea of the regiment etc etc ...... and Harry Schofield is quite a common name.

He didn't talk about it, I didn't ask about it.

His only daughter-in-law burnt everything to do with her husband's family when he died in 1991 ....... and I wasn't fast enough to write from here to ask for any pictures, documents etc. Her reasoning "I didn't think anyone would be interested"! By that time I was the only grandchild still alive ......... but she never asked me!! She's now 93, still pretty bright, but claims she knows nothing about the Schofields.


My father was in restricted occupation during the war ............. but he never talked about it, nor did I ask about it. So what did he do?????


I started doing my research back in 2003 ...... I knew my brother had done some work on my father's family, and that a cousin had traced it back to 1720, so I thought I would start on my mother's family.


I was sooooooooo lucky that first afternoon!!!


I knew nothing except that grandmother was called Clara, she had a sister Florrie (because she lived next door to us when I was small) and a sister Hannah who had gone to New York and who was my mother's godmother ................... and I knew that because we used to get letters from her until she died some time in the 1950s. But I didn't know the maiden name nor the married names of either of the sisters.

But as I said I was lucky ................ they married before Mum was born! I found Mum's birth registration. Then I looked a couple of years earlier on freebmd ...... found a Harry Schofield married to a Clara Cotterell.

Found, by accident as I really didn't know what I was doing, the 1901 census site ........ and there was a Clara Cotterell with sisters Florrie and Hannah.


I did all that in the first couple of hours searching ..... it came so easy!!!


But there were all these siblings of my grandmother's and grandparents, none of whom I remember being mentioned! One of grandmother's aunts had at least 5 illegitimate children by 1901. May be that was the reason there was never any mention of any relations??!!

I know Mum used to occasionally go to other graves in the cemetery, "our family" she used to say ....... but I never asked who they were!!!!



As regards our children.

My daughter has informed me that she doesn't like a boring old family tree .... she wants to know how people lived, what they did, their relationships, etc. So I have a very small "traditional" tree, most of which is not on here ............. I keep all the information in almost a story format!


One of my nieces (out of 3 daughters that my brother had) is interested in family history ..... the other 2 couldn't care less.


sylvia

Michael

Michael Report 8 Dec 2008 12:57

On my landing I have some inset shelves where I have photos of parents,grandparents and even a some great grandparents.
Recently my six year old grandson stopped from rushing up the stairs to the toy cupboard to look at these photos in their old frames.He asked who the people were and when we told him they were grandad's and grandma's grandads he looked thoughtful.At six I don't expect he thought his grandad could have a grandad!
I am sowing the seeds and when he is old enough,and his little brother, if they want to know more they will have our family history to hand as well as my own printed life story!

Irene

Irene Report 8 Dec 2008 13:25

Like you all I wish I had asked the questions of my parents that I have now been searching for the answers for the last 6 years.
My grandfather's father was Irish and have not been able to find his details.
My other grandfather's father was German and I have not been able to find his details
My grandmother's grandfather was German and I have not been able to find his family details from Germany.
My father's grandmother's father came from Scotland and I do not know where he was born so all of these brickwalls will have to stay built I'm afraid.
A few questions asked when my parents and grandparents were alive would have really helped me on my way.
All my other ancestors I have found lots of information about and with the help of living relations have been able to fill loads of gaps in my tree.
I have enjoyed finding out about my roots and met some lovely people through my research. People who I would never have known or ever be in touch with.
I have given my children copies of their family trees and to most of my grandchildren. They may get interested later in life so have the information to look at.
Carry on the good work everyone and remember how you felt when you did find the information about your family. Regards Irene

Chris in Sussex

Chris in Sussex Report 8 Dec 2008 13:41

Oh but I did ask the questions....

Back in the '60s for a school project.

All four of my grandparents were alive and I had details of their parents and grandparents and in one case 'patchy' great grandparents!

I kept the info until I married in the '80s and then threw it away when we moved house....Why would I want that????

Now I would happily sell my soul to get it back.

It was my maternal grandmother that gave me her history back to her great grandparents and it is her line where I have a brick wall.....I have no idea of even her mother's maiden name :(

So learn a lesson from me...NEVER, EVER, throw away anything to do with family history....It WILL become useful oneday.

Chris

cane

cane Report 8 Dec 2008 15:03

BIG N,
for all fancying a good read,......enjoy.

gwen xx

kandj

kandj Report 8 Dec 2008 16:34

I have LOVED reading all tales from the past.... keep them coming PLEASE!

Gaille

Gaille Report 8 Dec 2008 17:25

Sylvia, restricted occupations were usualy something to do with Food production, Essential services like Police etc, or Munitions.

My Grandad was in a restricted occupation - He worked for a munitions company.

One of my dads uncles was a Farmer, he was classed as restricted occupation due to being a food producer (he was a dairy farmer).

Both Grandad & Uncle were in the Home guard, most men who couldnt go to war volunteered for this according to Grandad, it might be worth seeing if you can find records of this - I have a certifiacte stating Grandad was in the Home Guard & the dates that he was given when the war ended.

Gail

kandj

kandj Report 8 Dec 2008 18:42

"n"

Really is worth reading.

ValerieM

ValerieM Report 8 Dec 2008 18:58

I agree with Gloria, this really is worth reading.

Treehunter

Treehunter Report 8 Dec 2008 19:28

When i was younger would never ask anything would get clip round the head. Never ask,

I am only 54(its not that old)

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 8 Dec 2008 21:39

Gail


I know about restricted occupations.

After the war, my father was Foreman in a brass foundry, and we lived in a mill town, so I assume that it was a factory working with munitions. But I have no idea of the name, or what exactly he did. It could even have been aircraft parts for all I know! I'd love to know ...... now, but I didn't ask then!

He did work for about 6 months down in London, and then transferred back to our home town.


I also know that he got jobs in the same factory for his older brother and one of Mum's brothers (the other brother was mentally handicapped).

Dad's brother had fought and been badly injured in WW1, but was liable for call-up in WW2 even though he would have well been over 40. The gratitude that his children still express to me is more than embarrassing!

However, even they don't know what my Dad did ... all they know is that their Dad basically was a cleaner and sweeper upper, and that it was the cleanest job that he had ever had ........ his previous jobs were in cotton miils, not too good for someone who had the injuries he had.



sylvia

Cheshiremaid

Cheshiremaid Report 9 Dec 2008 01:36

A very interesting thread...great reading.

I started researching my family 4 years ago mainly to prove that my dear mum wasn't imagining what she had been told as a young girl by my maternal gt grandma ....that my gt grandma had been born in Wiltshire. I really don't think that my maternal nan knew much as when my mum told nan...mum was scolded and not to talk silly!!!

Another tale that my mum told me was when she and my dad were on holiday in Devon many years ago my mum had a strange experience of "deja vu" in a market hall or such in Newton Abbot. Mum relayed this story to a gt aunt....who was not surprised as she said we had family down that way...however my mum never questioned it at the time. As far as we really knew our family came from Dover...my nan was born there in 1904 and after several comings and goings from Dover to Cheshire and back my gt grandparents finally settled here in Cheshire in the early 1900s.

A complete novice to the computer and the internet with the help of my daughter we found Ancestry...and I was hooked!! My gt grandma was b1877 in Wiltshire!! My mum was really chuffed!!

I found in the 1881 census that my family had moved to Dover, via Wiltshire and via Gloucester where my 2x gt uncle was b1879. (from his birth cert). Amazingly I found that both my 2x gt grandparents were born in Devon and over the past few years of research I found my ancestors are deeply rooted there!!

Last year my husband and I took my mum down to Devon on holiday...she is a lively 87 year old!! We visited the small coastal village of Stoke Fleming where my ancestors lived not far from Newton Abbot....it is so beautiful and strangely enough I felt very at home. We visited the local church and found many graves....the most wonderful find was the grave of my 4x gt grandparents! It took me off guard at how emotional I felt finding many of my family....I just had to revisit the next day laden with flowers!!

Linda







Alan

Alan Report 9 Dec 2008 09:45

Thank you all for contributing to this thread, it's been fascinating to read your experiences.
Be lucky
Alan

Karen in the desert

Karen in the desert Report 9 Dec 2008 09:52

I believe my great uncle was in a Restricted Occupation - he was a Baker.

K

Jeeberella

Jeeberella Report 9 Dec 2008 10:41

I only started doing my family tree a few months ago after watching a few episodes of "who do you think you are" and it really did get me thinking.

I'm 22 and knew very little about my heritage. My mums parents died ebfore I was born and my mum knew practically nothing about her family. She managed to remember her grandmothers maiden name and that she had 2 aunts.

After renewing my membership on here within 48 hours I found the son of one of the aunts and now my mum is in contact with a cousin she never knew!

This cousin has also been researching the family tree, so using the info from him I've managed to go back even further. It's proving a challenge as the Rhead side of my family had lots of children, which in turn had lots of children, most I'm up to at the moment is 12. And marriages weren't that simple either, got marriages to sisters 22 years apart and all sorts.

I discovered that one generation moved to Utah sometime between 1855-58 and yesterday I finally discovered why. It was around this time that the Mormons went on foreign missions to convert people and bring them to Utah to boost Church numbers. So it would seem my ancestors either converted before they left, or once they got there. But even their journey to Utah has proved interesting. They were originally going straight from Liverpool to Salt Lake City but due to illness they had to stop off at Boston for a few years. The ship they were originally on continued it's journey but due to cold and starvation over half the passengers died before they got there. If they had been able to continue their journey no doubt they too would have perished.

I've managed to get copies of the actual handwritten marriage and death certificates of a few of the relatives that ended up in Utah. I'm still trying to find out how I can contact the living generations of these distant relatives though!

I'm completely addicted to what I can discover next and not entirely sure if and when I will be able to think "Yes I've got it all".

I'm only just beginning my journey and really do want to know what happened to my ancestors, how they lived, what they did with their lives. But I know alot of people that just aren't interested which I think is a real shame. Everyone has a right to know where they have come from but it's whether you have the desire to I suppose.

But at the same time, I'm a bit disheartened about my dad's side of the family tree. His aunty has a hell of a lot of information about that side of the family but has only given me details of one generation because it'll be much more interesting to discover it for myself. Unfortunately, I've hit a brick wall with it so may never get to know about my dad's side of the family.

I may not have any children yet, but I want to be able to show them what I've discovered so they hopefully carry on what I've started. Because unfortunately if it doesn't get carried on then I too will just be another forgotten ancestor in years to come.




Karen

Karen Report 9 Dec 2008 13:08

I only knew my nan, all my other grand parents died before i was born, i only saw my nan for 1 week out of every year and wasnt allowed to speak to her as she would ignore you, i knew nothing abt any of my relatives until i started researching them, even now i cant find some of them

Karen

Jeeberella

Jeeberella Report 9 Dec 2008 14:36

Karen, my mum's cousin has the same problem. His father died when he was 5 and his own mother refuses to talk about it. So he's really struggling at the moment!