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Sent you a pm.

Sheila does this mean you have sent ...... what info ?

it is important for other members to know so we know whether Julie still needs help

was it her mother's birth, marriage, death, other children, brothers and sisters, current address ............... ?

thank you


Julie the information you have in your tree ( the result found on a tree search ) does not match a birth in the births index so are you sure of that information ?

Julie has the actual date of birth for Ann so I would think she has the cert.

So when was Ann born? Is there a middle initial?

Julie has her in her tree born 1942 but there's no birth that fits.

Rose

Shouldn't Julie have been advised to go through the proper channels?

the 'proper channels' are the national adoption register ? and the social services records ... perhaps she has done that ... but yes, they are always the first steps ( and this is something else this website should perhaps make clearer )

I do not recommend that any other detail be put in the thread

......... although it would be very nice if Sheila would do others the courtesy of explaining what she has sent ............

but the 'proper channels' do not guarantee a result and it may be that someone can help Julie in her search

we all agree I think that such searches are sensitive

and there are strong opinions on both sides when it comes to adopted children's searches for their birth parents

I am not sure that either opinion should govern any adopted child's search or anyone's decision as to whether to assist

Hi

Sorry for the delay in replying only just got back, right Julie has not yet replied to my message.
I sent her birth reg and also a poss reg for her birth mother, not sure if she has a copy of her orig birth cert and I am with you Fairthorn and think that is the next course of action-
The name is from her adoption records so she may have been through the correct channels already., however, I would like to point out that some of these agencies charge several hundred pounds to assist in a search, which not everyone on here has, and this may be why she has requested help on here.
Hopefully she will return to this thread soon.

I went to my local adoption and family finding unit, they apointed me a social worker who aplyed for my childrens services records/adoption and fostering records from 1964/5 through that information I have found all but my birth father, :-)

The major drawback with well-meaning amateurs offering info is that they don't know the circumstances of the people concerned, or what the person they are 'helping' will do with the info.

Julie's mother may have a family who are unaware of the situation - imagine what repercussions could result if they were suddenly to be confronted with her existence..........

My thoughts on this are not without some foundation - I have first-hand experience of the outcome of just such an event - with a dear friend of mine.

Hi Flick

I do get your point but there are several people who assist adoptees on this board a few of them myseld included where adopted :-)
Whilst you may see the odd thing on this thread there is a lot more discussed by pm, before any info is passed on.
I do agree that for many peole though SS or the adoption agency may be the right way to go, but ironically anyone under 35 needs know counselling whilst older people do, in my experience that the more likely ones to jump in feet first are the younger hot headed ones to think with their heart not their head.
For the rest of these people they have thouight long and hard about the possiblie consequences of their actions before doing this search.
I do worry thought when people do send of address and contact details without thinking it through hence Chrissis thread on here :-)

The reason older people need councelling is because of a change in the law. if you are under 35, you will have been adopted in times when birth mothers were made well aware that you might come looking for them one day. Prior to this birth mothers were told there would be no way they could be indentified, let alone traced.

At least the birth mothers of the younger ''hot headed' ones know its a possibilty.

Hi Penny :O)

I appreciate what you have said, and understand as I went though all this myself, the issue really though is not the actual search, as even if Birth parents of older adopted children where told there would be no contact ever made things have changed.
With the advent of so much information on the internet, it can be as easy as putting a birth parents name on here and finding them, to a really complicated search.
The real issue arises from how contact is then made with the birth parent, you have to be aware of the possible repercussions, I have also worried when I have seen possible marriages and possible adresses just passed on to someone without any thought for how the person will deal with that information.
But that also goes for any look up for say for instance a Birth Father, who is to say that if that person has married then their new wife family know of their existance.

Chrissiex has a very good post on here about how to post message :O) it is good to be reminded to sometimes just think about what is posted on here,

thank you to all the people who helped me with searching for ann merchant.I have now found a person who fits the details I have.ann merchant born 1942 but not registered until jan-mar 1943mmn turner. I now know she was married in 1976 and am waiting other info

Julie

There was a reason why I asked you to delete Ann's birth details on your first post . If you have recieved any other details privately it is not to be posted on the boards

jax