General Chat

I don't know how to recognize depression.What I feel now is as nothing to the daily distress and despair of growing up with my mother but sometimes I could procrastinate for England if I could just get around to it.

Turning to the medical profession for help in my teens meant I was prescribed tranquillizers when all that was needed was to get her as far away from me as possible.They just seemed to numb me and make it even harder to deal with her when I needed all my wits about me at all times.
My grieving had all been done by the time she died.It was for what might and,indeed, should have been.

sharron do you think you are still grieving for that? Maybe something jolts you back into thinking about it every so often.

I love the expression I could procrastinate for England if I could only get round to it Lol!!!! Made me chuckle.

I think you must feel down sometimes because of the responsibility you have with your Dad. You should be proud of yourself for making him get his life back but I am sure it has been tiring for you. Probably all you need is a good break. (if only????). Is there no way he can go for a 'holiday' to a residential home to give you a break for a week? I know back in the 90s we managed to do this with my Dad to give my sister a break. He enjoyed it too, all the being waited on.

Anyone who has a clutter problem have a look at Daff's thread and the first post by Blue Moon. Hilarious and on my kitchen wall now!!!

Hi

My 3xgreat grandfather was Thomas Musgrave who was on the 1891 census in Auckland, Durham, a miner aged 63.

He was baptised in December 1827 son of Thomas and Jane Musgrave.

He had a daughter Elizabeth in Apr May June Quarter 1852 who wed a Robert Wilson in 1870.

A Thomas Musgrave is on the 1900 US census in Allegheny, Philadelphia aged 72 and he gives his month of birth as December 1827. He is the father in law of Robert Sutherland born in 1859. Roberts wife is Elizabeth Sutherland who gives her year of birth as April 1852. Ties in with the birth of Elizabeth Musgrave in 1852.

A Robert Sutherland wed an Elizabeth Wilson in December 1887 in Allegheny. The 1900 census points to their years of marriage being 12. Robert had a brother William born in 1858. It looks like the two Sutherland brothers are on the 1881 census in Auckland, Durham, England.

I can find no trace of Elizabeth or Robert Wilson in 1881 in England. The US census says Robert and Elizabeth Sutherland emigrated in about 1881.

I have checked and cross referenced any Thomas Musgraves (including variants) who were born 1820-1835 and who died inbetween 1891 and 1911 in England and none match that of mine as the deaths all seem to relate to other Thomas Musgraves on the 1891 and 1901 censuses in Leeds, Yorkshire and Cumberland. An immigration would certainly explain why I have been unable to find such a death for my Thomas and would tie up a lot of things. The dates and names all fit. I am dying of excitement here!!!!!! yea.

What do you think?

Ben

Ben, I would never question your findings, you have a very analytical mind. You have been spot on so far. Your research is done with much precision. You are asking a question of which you already know the answer. Do not question yourself. Reading you post the information looks sound. Have fun searching this one.

Hi to everyone and love and hugs

Gail

Hi Gail

Also when Thomas's son wed in 1876 his sister Elizabeth was a witness and she just put an X on the signature. In the 1900 US census Elizabeth said she could not write which also ties in.

Certainly sounds as if you have got him Ben. Don't doubt yourself or you will start going all round the houses. You need to find emigration lists for between 1891 and 1900.

Yes I am soooooo excited.

There is a chance that he might have gone to America but made the occasional trip back to England. His wife died in December 1885.

Now I need to find his death. I cannot find him on the 1910 US census so I assume that he died inbetween 1900 and 1910 in Pennsylvania, USA.

I am new to American genealogy.

If you need help put it on the Tips board we have quite a few American members on here who will help you.

Hi Ann

Yes I would like to access his death record and his daughters second marriage in 1887 in Allegheny. There must be someone on here who has access to these records and offers lookups for people researching American rellies.

Ben

Give it a try on tips or records Ben

Hi everyone,

I am feeling very down today, Worried about my son, like every year he has gone off got drunk police arrested him, then let him out now he want to come here and just sit cry and just wans to hear what he want to hear,
At least year e hasnt tried to take his life. He broke up with his girlfriend by said he still loves her,
She has put alot on fb about a new bloke she has been talking to, my son has found this and thats what all today is about. Thing is he makes things out that isnt happing, I have told him he cant come here as housing dont like it, his dad and sister dont want to know him,What do i do.
the hospital said only take him in if he trieds to harm hisself. But why has it got to get to that be for they help him.

He has no where to go hasnt even got his car key so he can sleep in his car. Tried friends but they wont take him in.
Just got a text from him saying he has somewhere for tonite to stay.
I know how he is feeling but he has a son to think about now.Bloody depresstion its a big black hole we full into and have a bloody hard job getting out of it

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}TO ALL

Hi Hazel,

I am sorry your son is so low and in trouble, it's the last thing we need isn't it to know they are down and we can't always help them. Your lad needs some professional help but if he won't go and ask and just goes and gets drunk, he isn't helping himself and it's such a worry for you.
Maybe when he is sober and you can talk to him without him getting into a mood or anything, you can help him work out a way to get his life back on track and become the father he should to his lad. I know if depression is in the family it's hard to cope with, my son gets it from me and from his dad, but tries to stay positive altho I know he is often sad and fed up with having little money and being in debt etc
Let's hope both of them have better times ahead.
Hope you can get some sleep so you feel ok in the morning, take care, here's a hug to help

Lizxxxx

Thank you, He did go to the hospital few times to day to get help but said cant help him. He hasnt been taking his tablets for few weeks, But i just spoke to him said he was sorry and ask me to talk to his dad, thing is i am not with his dad anymore, and he has never been a understanding person in anything evern more so with depresstion.
So i am hoping we can find a way to get somewhere he can stay for awhile. Tell can sort things out.
I have been very low myself for few weeks now and getting bit of help with it, but person that use to help me was my mum and i dont have her anymore, which i am finding very hard, having some counselling for that.
I dont want to go on the higher tablets for my depresstion again, have got them on a low does now.

Lets hope today will find a way of getting him the help he needs.


Hazelx

Big hi to everyone.

My subs are up in 4 weeks and am trying to decide whether to re sign up or not. I get sick of putting up threads and only having a few answer, then get the sugars and delete after a few days. Maybe my threads are not exciting enough. Todays sugars were about receiving my Ancestry DNA arriving and the results, I did not get one reply NONE, when it ended up on page 2 I got the sugars and deleted.

So, am I better off putting up, OHHH ARRRR threads, or just leave. Probably wont get a response here either.

Gail

Something bitten your bum Gail?

You stay on here, I haven't heard the last of your brother's antics and I don't want to miss out on that.

Oh sorry, I'm supposed to put something like we love you and will miss you but really I just want to hear what your brother gets up to.

Now stop talking crap and get those subs renewed.

Morning Gail, sorry you are feeling this way. My threads don't get many replies either! Except this one and the one for Dutch!
I don't bother starting new threads very often. I think we need to flounce on to the boards tossing our long hair fluttering our lashes and being big and over board!!! (Thats not me). I'm a quiet sort! But I'd still miss being able to add sometimes. And would just feel frustrated if I saw a match and couldn't send a message. Had a nice one this week from a man who lives not far from me ( 5 Miles tops) I haven't told him where I live! This a
match but not direct line. We have the same 5x g grandparents.
He even has photos of some people I knew of but had no idea what they looked like, it ran shivers down me to see their faces.
Is your daughter and family still there with you?

There is something called the University of the Third Age aimed at people who are retired isn't there?

Does anybady know about that? I know it is aimed at people of retirement age.

Lol Sharron, you tell it like it is!!

Hazel, is there a hostel in the town where your son or you live that would take him in? First thing he needs to do when he really wants to be helped is to take his medication, then he can try and get himself sorted. I have a niece who is schitzophrenic (sp) and who keeps stopping her medication because she feels well and decides she doesn't need it. It is hard getting through to them that they need to continue taking it even when they feel well.

Gail, don't leave, sometimes it seems that all people need are the blessed A-Zs but the thread that I put up this week, controversial though it was, certainly got a lot of posts. Where did you put about your DNA I would have been interested but didn't see it. If it was on tips try it again on gen. Did it maybe drop to the second page because of the time difference? When mine go to the second page I sometimes nudge it up myself. I like reading your posts on this thread and I would miss that contact. I am sure you would miss us on here too.

Have you tried adding to threads like Huia's thread re Rotorua or the Where is Jean's thread? They sound exclusive but are not and people are always made welcome. I don't know if you are into scrapbooking or cardmaking but each of those threads are quite good to add to and read.

Why not start a thread on keeping chickens or something you do, quite a few people on here do keep chickens.

Anyway, stay with us do.

Ann
Glos

I would miss the depression thread, and Sharron's kick a*@ attitude. But seriously the rest of it??? not so sure.

I did follow your thread Ann, as I followed the thread that provoked it. Glad the other went into the great beyond as well.

My older brother kindly donated his paternal DNA, I the maternal side. It was very interesting and I may think about putting it back, and yes I did nudge it once and still ended up with no reply or interest. I might try changing my name to Donald or Samuel and would then get a response I am sure. Oh brought me the DNA kits for my birthday.

Carole, yes they are still here.

Am I depressed??? You betcha!!!!!

Gail