General Chat

Hi everyone I hope you have all had a nice day I have done nothing and really enjoyed it
love and hugs to all
Rachxxx

Just a quick sending love to everyone who is suffering.

Sue xx

Hello all, had a lazy day with a bit of gardening, washing and cooking and not much else. Feeling fairly ok and just want to catch up with lots of phone calls, and bits and bobs, as well as clearing stuff out when I feel able.
Have smear test and dentist arranged, not at the same time lol, and have to arrange a haircut and financial check at bank, so want to get them all done before the holiday at the end of May. Sending deposit off tomorrow for May 31st to 10th June, how will I cope without a computer lol? I might have to call a few folk and ask for updates!!
Will be a quiet restful holiday but the cottage is roomy so can have seperate bedrooms and lose him in a different room if I want, or lock him in the summerhouse in the garden for the duration lol It has lots of kiddies' toys in there to keep him happy lol
A week of late shifts this week so won't see much of him at all, if I play my cards right!
I hope you all have a good week and can feel a bit better as the days get longer and brighter.
love and hugs
Lizxxx

Yesterday went so fast!!!
Daughter home for a few days, and been visiting Dad who is still in hospital.
My friend is going to see consultant today.

I've been having panic attacks and feeling scared that they are coming back! But I know I have to ignore them and they will go. Did some gardening yesterday paying today, with aches. Couldn't sleep last night I have a longish trip to work today and am dreading it

Love to you all

Morning Carole sorry to hear about you panic attacks ave you thought about trying meditation? I try it now and then and find it really works if you would like to know more pm me. Its a beauttiful day here and I hope it is where you are
Take care love and hugs
Rachxxxxxx

I have had depression on and off since my husband died and have hit a low patch again, not coping very well,....

Carole, hope the panic attacks pass and you feel better. Also hope the work trip was not as bad as you expected.

Liz, Now I have this funny picture in my mind....dentist one end, nurse the other!!!! Save time??

hi Rachel and Sue ((Hugs))

Wavy one. So sorry to hear that you are having a bad time at the moment. maybe you still need to grieve your husband and people expect you to be over it. If you want to talk about your feelings and/or your husband please feel free, we are all great listeners on this thread.

Deanna and YCaz, are you any better today? I hope so.

Well I have finally joined facebook, wasn't going to but got a few invites so have given it a go. It looks interesting, promising and a real time waster. But it is difficult to get on without the loading timing out so quite frustrating. I don't think it will take the place of genes for me.

Got to go to the shops now, back later
Ann
Glos

Waveyone

You have come to the right thread .There's a great bunch of people here always ready to help and support so keep on posting .

There are a few of us in the same position as you and we know how hard it can be .

Sorry gang that I have been AWOL again Carole will be setting me lines to do !! I spent all saturday sanding the 5 doors in my hall and yesterday painting them .I have aching muscles in places I didn't even know about .

The smell of paint is horrible so I checked the web for tips on how to get rid of smell .I now have onions sitting in saucers of water all over the house . Can't say it is making any difference except now I can smell paint and onion !!!! Can't open windows or door as bossy cat from next door will come in .

Going to try to do ASDA or some other supermarket . My local life line of Somerfield just down the road is closing next week so they have hardly any thing left in the shop .That means I will be forced to go further .

Hope you are all well
love
Kathy xxx

your right,,, people do expect me to be over it..and often say pull yourself together, Its bean nearly ten years.....I have also been diganosed with Mitochondrial Myopathy,which makes me feel dreadful..

Hi Kathy, paint smell is horrible, gives me a headache. You can get paint now (crown I think) which doesn't smell as much. I hope you manage to make it to another supermarket, that will be another achievement for you.

Eileen, your poor daughter but how brave she is being. we always feel for our children when they are ill don't we. Don't trivialise your problems, they are real to you and we are here to listen. I hope they can find something to help your daughter. is there any hope thats he will be able to cut down on the medication at some time?

Wavy--one. Everyone is different and everyone will take a different length of time to grieve. I wonder if you were allowed to grieve properly when your husband first died. Have you asked for bereavement counselling or approached gingerbread or similar for help. maybe you can't do it on your own and need help. I am sure there are people on here who have gone through a bereavement of a partner who will help you. I can't begin to imagine the pain it must cause as I still have my lovely husband, I dread to think and can only offer my sympathy for how you feel and lots of ((((hugs))))

Ann
Glos

spend a lot of time on here,as you all feel part of family,just having one of those bad days when I wondering why I bother getting up...........

Dear waveyone
On this thread, your sorrow is shared. There is no magic number of months or years to "get over it". Grief is handled by different people in vastly differing ways, and time frames.
Having lost a child and both parents, I can absolutely verify that there is no predictable time frame. The acuteness of the pain diminishes, but we never forget.
I think ti also makes a difference at what age the person dies. It was probably 15 years after my son died before I could even say the word 'dead". My Dad diedat 66, 9 months after my son and one grief compounded the other, especially as I thought my Dad (my strong support) would live to be an old man. My mother died at 96 and I accepted that because it was appropriate, she was old, frail and very tired. Of course I still miss her, but the intensity of the grief was tempered by other factors.
My friend's young husband died while waiting for a heart transplant. She coped by becoming an alcoholic, not a good solution.
Sorry to ramble on, I know this is still very difficult for you and I'm sending you hugs. ignore the people who tell you to get over it, they are not walking in your shoes.
Mary

Thanks Anne. It has been a bitter/sweet day up until now.Had just got in the front door when the phone started ringing.I knew it would be my lovely sister-in-law to let me know she was thinking of me today.She & I have always been exceptionally close, I can tell her anything and everything, and know for sure it goes no further.
My daughter Andrea will never get any better, she knows this, but is ever hopeful that one day, something will be found to help her and others in the same position.In the meantime, she just soldiers on, trying to find a spark of sunshine in every day, in spite of being in continuous pain.No Ann, she can't cut down on her medication, but has been told to stop with the anti-TNF for a while.The French always give far too much medication, and, you are not allowed to discuss how you feel about this,have your say.In general, they are still the 'lords of the manor', so to speak.I have seen it with my own eyes.
We only hope they can sell their large Chambe d'Hôte a.s.a.p, to either go back to live in Ireland, where they all lived for some years, or settle in the U.K,where they may be able to find specialist who have a different approach to her disease, and not prescribe such devastating medication like she has now.
Thanks for 'listening' again.

Eileen x

Eileen we never know what is around the corner. we can always hope for the miracle cure. And how wonderful that your daughter is able to stay so positive.

There seem to be fewer of us posting on the thread lately don't there. I hope that is because we are not needed at the moment.

Ann
Glos

Thanks again Ann.
I have always lived with that belief too, but find it a million times harder to do so, when it my daughter, who is such a brave young woman. If a miricle cure is ever found, I doubt if all the damage already done to her body by this devastating disease and the medication, can be reversed in any way.

As you say, hardly anyone has been posting today, I began to think I had killed the thread.

On wednesday, Holland celebrates the old queen Juliana's birthday.It is a national holiday,with lots to do.Amsterdam is the best place to be, but it is far too busy, almost suffocating, with the millions of people that live there and those that go there for the day.This is the only day in the year that everyone is allowed to sell anything they want, in the parks, pavements, you name it.We are going to Eindhoven to see the fun and maybe pick up some real bargains.I won't go on about this, don't want to bore you, or anyone that may 'drop in' this evening here.

Eileen x

Night night everyone sweet dreams and god bless
love and hugs
Rachxxxxxxxx

sending my love to everyone

love and hugs

carolina xx

waveyone my heart go's out to you. I have an understanding of what you are going through watched my mum go through it. Lost her sole mate you never get over it you just have to move forward .think of what he would have wanted you to do and do it.live your life for him not without him. been with my hubby since I was 14 now 44 couldn't imagen, would be like losing my shadow . big hugs irene

hi all, sorry I am not posting much at the mo, am quite tired altho haven't been doing much.
Did get rid of a few papers tonight, well an inch is a cinch and a yard is hard so I will do it an inch at a time lol
That rule is a good one really, don't try to make massive steps, just a tiny little step at a time without sliding backwards will get you there in the end.
Love, and hugs to all who need them, I do read the threads and think positive thoughts for you just haven't the energy to write lots at the mo.
Lizxxx

Hi everyone.

Niece finally had her baby on Sunday, little girl. Mum had a hard time as little un was born with both her hands clasped to the top of her head.

Mum and bub both well.

Gail