General Chat

i was working in an old folks home for a bit extra cash i had to bath this old boy and he started to tell me about something i answered i wouldn,t do that you wouldn,t have a leg to stand on (he had his legs cut off for some reason) i almosed passed wind i was so embarassed

Ex Boyfriend in a London Pub said to 2 very good looking ladies (Iwas just stood there) "So what part of Glasgow are you from?" He was a Glaswegian you see and thought he recognised the accent..... Much to my amusement they replied "Edinburgh" He wanted the ground to swallow him up and fortunately one day it will.....

Me at a very posh cheese and wine do to a very nice man with an accent.. 'Oh are you Scots or Irish?' - his reply - 'actually I'm Welsh'. Sue.

In a supermarket buying groceries, "I'm not buying that they'll just eat it"

In a supermarket buying groceries, "I'm not buing that the'll just eat it"

i was talking to my dad yesterday about the state of the country.dad was saying "that to think your gramp fought for a better england at the somme,for what ?" to which i replied"exactly!if gramp was alive today he would turn in his grave"! we just all started to laugh lol susie on hubbys puter

Same Grandma on the phone to me...... I'm off down the Poppin centre to help the old people.... the nearest person to her age at her Poppin centre is 10 years her JUNIOR!!

Me, at a party, many years ago, making pleasant conversation ..... "So .... when's the baby due? Can't be long now, looking at the size of you!" Answer;- "I had the baby 3 weeks ago!" Oops .........

went to the hospital once with my gran she said i hate coming when all the old folk are here they do nothing but moan i pointed out that she was most likely the oldest as she was 94 yes dear but i dont look it

For 2 weeks my mother-in-law went into a very nice home so my husband and I could go on holiday. On her return home she said she would never go in there again. Quite concerned we asked her why. Her reply 'it's full of old people'. She was 92 at the time. Jean.

My Grandmother to my grandfather, if he ever said he wasn't feeling well, "If you die before me, I'll kill you!!!!"

One of my aunts at grandmas funeral, "That's the nice thing about funerals. They bring all the family together!"

a very common one I'm afraid..... to kids climbing.. if you fall and break your leg don't come running to me!!!!!!!

Me to kids after tripping over them several times on a walk "If you're going to walk in front of me - get behind"

My 99 year old Grandma on visiting her 94 year old sister in a chapel of rest last week said.... "Oh Win, if you could see the way they have done your hair you'd die" then realised what she said and got a fit of the giggles!!