General Chat

I received this from a very good friend and would like to share with the rest of you:- When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so that there are still two of you in the way. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster then you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger then a kingsize bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think that I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up into a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm. My compact discs are not minature frisbees. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door that I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine or feline attendence is not mandatory. The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TO PACIFY YOU I HAVE POSTED THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE ON OUR FRONT DOOR. Rules for Non-Pet Owners who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: (1.) They live here. you don't. (2.) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (3.) I like my pets a lot better then I like most people. (4.) To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and does not speak clearly. (5.) Dogs and cats are better then kids. They eat less,don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant you can sell the results.

i love it !!!!!!

Lindzay, I have just finished wiping the tears of laughter away! This is BRILLIANT, sounds just like my 2 dogs. Also I`m printing a copy of the "house rules" for my door. Thanks for making my day much brighter, Rebecca :-)

We have a cat (or rather, she has us) but I couldn't stop laughing at your remarks. A couple of months after we adopted our indoor cat "Jaws", we left her overnight, thinking "she's a cat. while we are gone, she'll probably wake up once, eat, lick for three hours, then go back to sleep." Wrong. She must have spent the entire time "digging" in order to get under the hall door. She didn't succeed in getting access to the other part of the house, but she did actually ruin a part of the carpet when she had tried to make her great escape.

Lindzay Thank you, had a good chuckle at this. Why is it cats always want to be on the other side of a door!! and why I can never go to the loo without a hooked paw appearing under the bathroom door. Cats & Dogs just love them!!!! Lynda

Thanks a lot Linzay, iv,e had a lousy night and that was the tonic i needed to get me going again [still chuckling] i don,t have any pets but love cats,and dogs,and i quite like our adopted fish.Fred.

Retrieved from the bin as I could do with a laugh!

LOL isn't this just pets to a tee?? My two cats cant grasp the idea that - I sleep on one side of the bed - they must sleep on the other (except when my fella stays) NOT on either side of me, top and bottom so that I have to sleep on a diagonal.......... And as for the bathroom - is nothing sacred?? My edlest cat insists on licking my shins the whole time - very distracting lol. Also - why, when I have shared the same tin of food between them - THEY ALWAYS WANT WHAT THE OTHER ONE HAS GOT?? :O HELLO - IT'S THE SAME!!! And does anyone else do what I do - rush home guilt ridden after leaving them 'home alone' for hours, they feed and then b****r off out - I've served my purpose in the kitchen, then they abandon me!! mmmm could it be revenge? lol

Brilliant, my two Collies need to read this! Christine

Nudge!