General Chat

I work in a school and one of the children had been absent. When he returned one of the classroom assistants asked him if he was okay. 'Yes,' he replied, 'I went to the doctors and he gave me some anti boll---- medicine!!

Hi Jay, you get a great laugh not only from kids, their parents too, I also used to work in a school, and I remember the secretary roaring with laughter, when a child came in with a note for being off ill, the parent had put, Sorry my child was not at school last week only he had diorea, this was crossed out and direea, again crossed out, direah, crossed out for the last time, and the word sh*ts added. Oh what fun it used to be. April.

when my son was about three he used to get a headache in his tummy!! Once I heard him say a swear word and when I explained that it was a naughty word he said that he didn't mean to say it but his tongue slipped!!

When my daughter was caught playing with a worm she was told to put it down as it was dirty. Ten minutes later I caught her in the bathroom washing the worm (with my best soap I might add) and she proudly told me that it wasn't dirty any more.

hi all. my 8 year old is dyslexic, so we are used to his writing being upside down and back to front. but cannot get him out of saying 'frintputs' [footprints] which isnt a problem untill i found myself using it at work the other day ! sue

My daughter used to sit on the setatee; if she couldn't find something it would have pistappeared, and if something had finished it would have shinned. She's 30 next month but hubby and I still find ourselves saying these words occasionally. My goddaughter's 2½ year old was telling us the other day that it was very diccyfult to put on her wellies.

the only funy thing i remember is my younger sister used to call her slippers her putters she hates golf to this day! lianne

well here we go my neice loves to come and stay she is only three. i love to cook but when i ask her what she wants she gets the phone and asks me chiense or pizza? does she think i cant cook.........lmao

My 2 year old daughter has just come and sat on my lap in front of the P.C She has been, up until now,enjoying all of the additions to the smile thread, but she has just seen Karens sad face thread and said 'the smiley face is broken'! Sue :-)

awwwwwwwww sweet

My 4 year old grandaugter came today and told me she was going to the mackymaremouse and having bagetti for her tea Bren

Me and my son Joe 7 were sat talking the other day when he came out with- Dont tell nana because it'll upset her BUT she isn't really 21 ooohhhh, I said How old is she then. She's at least 26, he said, but don't tell her Chris

WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS ABOUT 2 WE WERE TEACHING HER TO WIPE AFTER GOING TO THE TOILET. NOT LIKING SOME OF THE WORDS USED FOR PRIVATE PARTS WE CALLED IT A FOO FOO. MY SON WHO WAS 3 AND A HALF, WAS IN HOWELS TOILETS (A POSH SHOP IN CARDIFF) WITH HIS GRAN AND FINISHED BEFORE HER, HE THEN SHOUTED OUT TO HER " DON'T FORGET TO WIPE YOUR FOO FOO NAN. MY MOTHER IN LAW WAITED A FEW MORE MINUTES BEFORE COMING OUT OF THE TOILET. SARAH

hahahaha lol

These are some from funny quotes... Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.. Solomon, one of David's sons had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.. Christians have only one spouse , this is called monotony..

My 9 y/o son came into the bathroom recently when I was only partly dressed. He looked at me and said "No offense Mum, but you've got a bit of fat on the back of your legs". Thanks son !! Also, a few weeks ago I put left overs from dinner in a container to take to work for lunch the next day. The following morning my son saw me take it out of the fridge and asked what it was. I told him "leftovers for lunch". He said "meals on wheels then Mum ?". Cindy Melbourne, AU

My children have always called new boiled potatoes "new born potatoes". The whole family call them that now!

What a laugh! thanks everyone Jay