General Chat

Bryan you're up late! Is everything ok? luv Lorr x x x

nudging this for our friendship....money cant buy it!

Ronald - like I say I was very lucky in my situation. Yours is slightly different though. When you are the carer there are no designated tea breaks or times when you can truly switch off, you are always in a state of alertness aren't you? Sometimes you wonder how you're going to get through another day of the same? It's physically and emotionally draining....... Like you say in your situation it would be better for everyone if she would accept an alternative. Try and keep positive and I know how hard that is. Take care luv Lorr x x x

Dear Bryan, Lor (in Southampton) and Di, Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I feel better already. it is comforting to know there are many good people out there, who can take the time to reply to my whingeing. Thank you all, once again. Ronald

hi ronald, just a few days ago,i saw a family,in a situation,very similar to yours,but it was a husband caring for his wife,and despite all his efforts,and pleading,she would not allow outside help. the poor man,has had one heart attack,a triple bypass,and requires another one,but he gets no respite,even though,help is available. its only right that we should care,for our loved ones,but sometimes,we need to be firmer with them,as soon as my own father became incontinent,i told him that,i couldnt allow my children to be in this situation.he had money put away,and i was able to find a really nice private nursing home for him,only three miles away,so we saw him every day,one day,i went in,and the nurses,were laughing,apparently,he'd been flirting with one of them...dad was happy... i wish you well ronald,this is a great place to come,get things off your chest,and quite often,enjoy a good joke..look at lyndas threads. best wishes to you....bryan.

Dear Ronald - I know you are doing one of the hardest jobs there is. I was lucky when I cared for my Mum & Dad they never complained and were very grateful. It must be so hard when you've got the circumstances that you are both in? You are not being selfish at all and I'm sure all you say is with good intentions. You do need to have time for yourselves. It seems condescending to say but "you're doing a great job". I mean that in the friendliest way, it must seem like a never ending battle every day? Please try and take care of yourselves too luv Lorr x x x

Loraine Not lonely but thoroughly fed up with life sometimes. for years my dear wife an Ihave cared for hermother, who is now 93 years old. She is hard work, being ungrateful, agressive and generally unpleasant. She is nearly blind, has congestive heart failure, won't eat, won't take her medication, ( she does not have demantia). We have been trying to convince her that she needs to be in a nursing home so that we would be sure she was being properly looked after 24 hrs a day. but, NO, she wants us to do it. I realise I am being selfish when I say all of this, but honestly, since I retired 7 years ago (I m now 67) we have not been away from home for a break for anything longer than three days. When we return we are made to feel so guilty. I have Parkinson's Disease, which is a handful fo my wife and I, by itself. Am I so wrong in wishing her to be in a home? She has had agood life. I certinly will not make the same demands on my own tewo children, we brought them into this world because we wanted them, not because we wanted someone to look after us in our old age. But, Keep smiling, lorraine, I take the view there is always some one worse off than me. God Bless Ronald

weekends can be lonely as well,so ime giving this a nudge. bryan.

Iwas feeling very down until i opened up my heart on a thread and was overwhelmed with the warmth of everyones responce feel like i have been dragged back to normality, so at the moment i feel great. Anyone who wants reasurance this is the place to be, my thought and prayers to all of you who are lonely and need help. David

Brian - thanks for that information, I'll see if I can locate the book as it sounds very interesting.

Hi Amanda - well done and good luck, it takes courage to do that and courage to come on here and tell others,especially those you've never met. This thread is great:o)) Jude s wales x

felicity, that makes a lot of sense...i have a wonderful book,by a wonderful lady by the name of bette shine..the book is called MIND MAGIC..amongst other things,she practised..distant healing..free of charge,and the concept was the same..knowing someone is thinking of you,praying for you,lifts your spirits..amnesty international,sends out millions of emails,asking people to pray for those,that are suffering,i remember getting one about terry waite,when he was held captive...and after being released,terry said,i felt this overwhelming surge of love,surrounding me. bryan.

Everyone ....... To those of you feeling low,each level of sadness you deserve a glow, of, something sparkling, l dunno - something special,you'll no, when it come's along - grab it,jump on it,hold it tight - tie it in knots,hold it down with all your mite. It can be yours - you just have to trust,make the bad times turn to dust!!!!!! jude s wales xxx

william very true my friend

Hi Lisa, Where you are is a very lonely place, but many others have been there. Rest assured that now you have reached out and let others know how things are for you that many will be thinking of you and supporting you. I believe that each of our souls knows when others are thinking positive thoughts about it, and benefits from the thoughts - sorry if that sounds a bit crackpot, but I have direct experience of such a 'theory'. Tell us as much or as little as you want to share. You will get through this, and if you want us to we will help you. xox

Hi Lisa - my pooter's been down for nearly 2 days so have only just got on......Sorry to hear you're feeling low. I'm sure later there will be lots of people to chat to. Hope people can help? Take care luv Lorr x x x

feeling alone today.having a few problems on the marriage front and have no-one to talk to .can be very hard having to deal with things on your own.x

Glad to see someone else is still up! Iv'e just come home from a B.B.Q. and wanted to see how everyone was and check my mail before going to bed. What a lovely lot of people you are. I've been telling people tonight about you all and how kind you are. You remind me of a favorite quote of mine ( Strangers are only friends that we haven't met yet) Bless all of you for thinking about others. A lot of people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart. Maureen

I would just like to thank Lorr for this thread, and Di for giving it a nudge. There are some lovely people on this site, not only who have given words of comfort, but have been in sore need of it too. Sadly it seems these days that you don't have to look far to find others going through the most traumatic experiences. I just hope that eveyone who has felt the need to post on this thread, and those who have perhaps found themselves unable to, they are out there too, will eventually find themselves in happier circumstances, or in the meantime be given the strength to deal with the blows. Lynda

What can I say that everyone else has'nt said already? You are indeed all wonderful people..! Having had my share of disappointments, grief, traumas I'm heading for 50 - fast - but have learnt to take each day at a time when you are in a crisis of any kind..and nurture a strong sense of self-protection - as somebody said, it is within you. Could say much more but (Tsk!!) I'm at work... Good weekend everybody, Cathy ~~