General Chat

FIONA i've been divorced 3 times and no lots of others to and can never understand that when your together you want the best for your kids and yet divorce happens and some people use them as pawns to hurt the other partner, if only people would realise its the kids that suffer and the uncooperating adult should be ashamed of themselves. [ with the exception of childs safety of course] i'm lucky that mine turned out so well adjusted as adults. and yet here i am again doing the best for them if you ever need to talk you or hubby anytime e mail me privately and i'll give you my number sandra

Thanks sandra for those words of encouragement.My husband is finding it very tough,he says it is worse than losing them the first time round.I dont know what to say,I am just here for him and he knows that.He is heartbroken.

keep your chin up, they do return, i have tried for 15 yrs for my 1st ex to see our three kids, 7yrs ago i said it would be the last phone call. 2 weeks ago my eldest son went up to his paternal grandparents with a few photos as they also hadn't had contact, my daughters wedding and my 1st grandchild, i wrote a letter with my address in case they weren't lucky for my son they were. my ex motherinlaw phoned me 2 days later, and said that their dad was heartbroken at not being at the wedding or knowing about beautiful katie. i spoke to my 3 kids by him and the eldest wanted to give her a few days to think about it, and my youngest didn't want to know. i phoned my ex and gave him the phone number and this sunday my eldest son is meeting his dad for the first time in 15 years, my daughter is ill so has asked for alternative arrangements in a couple of weeks and my youngest i hope will come round there dad can't make up for lost time but i'm glad my kids are finally going to get to know him again. one day your children will make contact and you will once again feel complete it won't stop the heartache at the moment or until that day but never give up hope. it will happen love sandra

my daughter had her eldest son put into care when he was five[remarriage] and chose the new man over her son. We found out a few years later and took him on .He asked questions about his early life and we told him the bare facts. He had to find out the rest himself,which he did and he is now grown up,and stays with us when he,se home on leave.The other kids from the home were asking questions too ,and so will your hubbies,they will get in touch i,m sure in the not too distant future,so don,t give up hope .Denis

good luck to you both for the future, chris.

May I just add that in addition to Christmas and Birthday cards, that your husband writes to them now and again, telling them what he's doing and how he's feeling, and dating them too, but keeping them in a safe place until they are older, when they can be passed on to them. When I've seen re-unions, and the father saying'I never forgot you' I've thought, how can his children believe him if they've been the ones to search him out. Please don't give up altogether. With love and sympathy Norah xx

Fiona & Hubby - chin up and keep sending cards,then atleast you can't be blamed for not communicating:o) Jude

Thank- you to everyone for your kind thoughts,It helps to know you care,Fiona and family.

Oh Fiona, I really feel for your husband and for you. I can't imagine not seeing my son either. Thinking of you both at such a difficult time. Mandy x

Hi Fiona Cannot imagine the pain and anguish - my thoughts are with you both. Can only repeat what has been said - keep in contact by cards at Christmas and birthdays and keep writing. Love Liz

Hi Fiona, Remember, some things have a funny way of sorting themselves out, without outside help. Chin up. Barry

Fiona, hubby went through same thing - all you can do is keep sending birthday and Xmas cards and letters, and hope that when they're old enough to make contact they will.

Can't imagine not seeing my children. It must be really hard for him. I wish you both well.

Fiona - hugs to you both - sending an e-mail

God,its been a long hard day for us as a family.My husband went to court today to try and see his children and he lost his case. We both feel it is time to move on with our lives and although they will always be in his thoughts,we have to start anew and make something positive from all of this heartache.So please think of us all at this time as i know you all are very caring,with thanks,fiona.