General Chat

My father-in-law has just been diagnosed with cancer in the lung and a mass in the middle of his brain. Both inoperable. Why? If there is a GOD, does he make people suffer so much. I am trying to be strong for my hubby but finding it very difficult as my mother died of cancer when I was sixteen. But I still remember, it took her two years of suffering before she died.

Gracie, I dont think anybody really has any answers on this one but I think we all understand. I helped nurse my mum through her last 4 years of life, she had motor nurone and died last year. It seems so cruel that these things just appear from nowhere and totally change everyones lives forever. Take Care and try to be strong Sheila xx

here is not a lot that we can say that will ease the agonies that you are going through. It seems very hard and iut makes you question your faith when someone so close is attacked by one of these dreadful killers. But you must stay strong for your family and remember that it is not the end. If you look close enough you will always find that our loved ones are always with us. May God Bless You and Your Hubby. Ernest Prendergast xx

Gracie: My dad has had health problems since the middle of January. We found out three weeks ago that he also has lung cancer and it is inoperable. Because he wasn't able to return to his apartment after he broke his ankle in January, we've been trying to pack his things, catch up on his unpaid bills, try and find a place for him to live (closer to us), donate his truck, etc. It's been a hard couple of months for me, but when I finally was able to ask his doctor how he took the cancer diagnosis she said he told her "well, we've all got to go sometime." I knew several people who had cancer; it's a terrible disease. My dad saw his father pass away from the same disease. When I get emotional (about every 12 seconds now), I just think of his attitude and try to stay cheerful for him. My dad's hospital insurance provides for hospice workers, including support people for the family. Do you have something similar? Could you perhaps ask your father-in-law's doctor if there is anyone the family can talk to? Feel free to email me if you would like emotional support. It must be so hard for you, since you lost your mum the same way. I'm here if you ever want to "talk". PS I received another call from the hospice social worker tonight. She mentioned once again that there is support when I feel I'm up to it (too emotional to seek it out -- perhaps I'll feel more like it next week or the following week). Also, my family is still in Canada so my brother, mum and I don't have family around. Are you able to talk to any of your family members? Do you have sisters or brothers you can talk to? I'm sure they would be glad to listen and give you support.

gracie and hubby, i hope you find the strength, with your family at this awful time, it breaks my heart when i hear of anyone that is suffering, this is a cruel illness, we are all here when you need to shout scream or cry, your not alone, all your friends will be with you to help you through. love sandra

Gracie My heart goes out to you and your husband, i don't know what else to say except you are all in my prayers. God Bless Yvette

gracie my love and thoughts go out to you and you hubby but as my old nan says god only takes the good ones , so your father in law must be special, i know it doesnt sound nice that but i believe it , my brothers girlfriend lost her mum 2yrs ago when she was 16 and she only found out her mum was dyeing 2 weeks before she passed away even though her father knew she was dyeing 3yrs before hand at least you know and will make every second count as my brothers girlfriend is now still grieving and is still struggling to come to terms with why her dad kept such a painfull secret to himself.

Gracie Just to let you know I do understand....... I am thinking of you all. Love Sarah.XX

Gracie, so sad to hear your news, thinking of you and your family and sending lots of love. It's already been said, but we are all here for you, and we all understand. God bless. M.

gracie my heart goes out to you and your family i lost an aunt to pancreatic cancer just before christmas. it is a cruel world god bless and we are all thinking of you susie xx

I would like to thank everybody for their kind replys, thoughts and prayers and most of all, you'r own experiences. Thank you all. Wee Gracie

Dear Gracie, so very sad to hear your news. I do know what you're going through, particularly at this moment in time. I don't want to start any religious debates, but if I may pass on one of my own personal beliefs ..... maybe it isn't God who makes the suffering - in life there are always opposites, black and white, yes and no, pretty and ugly, get my meaning - so why shouldn't there be good and bad? If 'God' or whatever any of us believe in is the good force, then there must be an evil force as well. Gracie, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Do keep us all posted. Love Mandy xx

Gracie I lost my mum to lung cancer when I was 14. Now I am older, I now feel I was lucky to have had her for 14 years in my life. No one can ever take that away from me. Cancer is cruel, it doesn't care who it strikes. I dont feel bitter anymore, alough I still feel sad. I feel mum was lucky to live 38 years, got married & had a child (me) ,when there are children dying of cancer who havent really lived at all. Chin up Gracie, be strong for yourself & hubby.Cry when the tears come, I shall keep you all in my thoughts. Elaine x

gracie,i am really sorry to hear your family are going through such a tough time at the moment.some people don't get any heartache all through their lives and some get it all.as my friend said before she died of cancer your life is mapped out for you.not only did she die her son died at 33 and her brother died all in a year.but even though she was so heartbroken she had to keep the family together and for the sake of her sons children.i'll say a prayer for your father-in-law and stay strongx

I am really sorry to hear your news. Cancer is a cruel disease. My father died of a rare and inoperable form of cancer at the age of 51, his brother, my uncle has recently been diagnosed with an inoperable form of lung cancer. Whats really sad about all this case is that their only living parent, their dad, my grandad is alive and has had to deal with losing one son, and has the prospect of losing another. My thoughts are with you, your family and all other GC members that have lost relatives to the big C. Fi x

Gracie I'm so sorry to hear about your Father In Law, my thoughts are with you. I lost my Husband last August to Lung Cancer so I know what you and your family are going through. Lynda x

Wee Gracie, I've also asked myself that question over the years. My father also had cancer and died at 54. I had cancer, but fortunately have survived - the doctor said I'm a strong one!!!! I remember seeing my husband's face when I came back from the hospital and telling him the news. His face was a mixture of "how am I to boil an egg", "and what about my washing and ironing". Loving support is the only thing you can give to your nearest and dearest, and I would wish you the courage to do this. Love, Sylvia xx

sorry to hear your news, i wonder why these things happen, when the jehovah guy knocked my door and said if i go to a spiritualist church i must believe in god, i was a little confused by that statement, i go there because the people are friendly and dont expect anything of me, and i want to hear a message from my mum. I am furious that 10years ago god gave her an inoperable brain tumour and all she wanted was us (her daughter and my family) to move back to home town to be near her, hubby was coming into civvy street in the september, she died christmas eve before, we came home for christmas and she was gone, i felt cheated, like it was a dream and id wake up and she would be here. i go on about this too much on here sorry, my thoughts are with you and your pain.