General Chat

EVERYONE THANKYOU FOR YOUR LOVELY REPLIES, SHE IS ALOT BRIGHTER TODAY, SHE POSTED HER CARD AND A POEM, I THINK THE FUNERAL WILL BE THE HARDEST FOR HER, BUT ALOT OF HER FRIENDS WHO ALSO KNEW THE GIRL ARE GOING. SO SHE WON'T BE ALONE!!! SANDRA

Lots of love and hugs. My daughter is in year 10 and through being involved with Drama productions I know a lot of the year 11 pupils too. I can't even bear to think about such an event happening. Cry with her, laugh with her at the memories and just be there for her to snuggle up to when she can't find words. Love to you all, to the families involved and to all who are affected by the ripples. Jacky:-)

Sandra, all you can do now is be there for her, and like the wise people before me said , listen to her, hug her, and cry with her. A dear friend of mine was murdered many years ago, it was a shock for all who knew him, and even now, nearly 20 years later, I still think of him and shed a tear, you never really get over it, it's just other things fill your life, and you think about it a little less often. Hope this helps. Thinking of you all. Belle.

Sandra My thoughts are with your family, and anyone else who was been affected. It isnt easy, but its true what they say... time does heal, though it can take a long time, the pain slowely gets less, and the good times will shine through.

Sandra, I can only echo what everyone else has said. I am so sorry. I know life must feel really awful at the moment. Once the shock passes, the grief will hit, but eventually it will get easier. You must be grieving too--the death of a child makes you realise how vulnerable your own are--and you should allow yourself time for your own sadness. I work in childcare and have watched several young children go through bereavement. There is a very good charity for bereaved children called Winston's Wish. They are based in London and also probably on line. they can offer advice, and will be used to dealing with children ofyour daughter's age. Your daughter will probably take the lead and show you how she wants to handle it, but I would suggest, if she can cope with it, that the funeral will help her face things--and give her a chance to say goodbye to her friend properly. Good luck. I will hold a thought for you.

sandra and stephanie if stephanie wants to come on and chat herself she can anytime, ill reply back, i know shell be ok sandra as she has her mum, and youll be there for her, we are all thinking of you all and your son, its something that youll never forget, but it will make you stronger im sure. stephanies friend will always live on in her memories of her. my heart goes out to you all julie

julie and hubby it was a crash on the a23 yesterday 8 people died including a 2yrs old, this has affected my son as well he used to go out with stephanies friend. i would like to thankyou all for your advice, we have cried and looked at photos and stephanie has been talking about the good times they had and told me some funny stories of things they did together. stephanie has read the replies and is overwhelmed that you all have offered kind words, she will be ok again thankyou sandra

im sorry to be such an air brain but can anyone tell me what happened as i havent heard and my hubby hasnt either, if its too painful to talk about i understand, you and your daughter have each other and will help each other, there are always us lot on here willing to listen when you feel low. julie newport ps my thoughts are with you both

Sandra - oh l am so sorry, how tragic. l really don't know how you can console her, other than be there for her, let her cry, cry with her, scream and shout together. Time does heal, although she won't think so at present. l do hope she can soon come to terms with this awful tragedy. Thinking of you your daughter and the families concerned. Godbless Jude x

Sandra I was so sorry to read this. I can offer no pearls of wisdom, other than to say that all you can do is listen when she needs to talk, hug her when she needs a hug, and just be mum. None of us can know exactly how she is feeling unless we have experienced such trauma ourselves, but I'm sure that you will say and do all the right things as time goes on. She will no doubt be angry, too, and you will have to accept that that is allowed as part of the grieving process. On a practical note, I am guessing that the teenagers in question were also at your daughter's school and that the staff will notify the Examining Board of what has happened so that appropriate allowances can be made when the GCSEs are marked. It may be a good idea for your doctor to write a letter to the school which can be forwarded to the relevant Board. Whilst you would obviously not want preferential treatment for your daughter over any other student I would have thought that as her best friend was one of the victims and the exams are only a month away, some mention should be made. It will be up to the EB whether it takes this into consideration when grading. My sincere sympathies to your daughter and her friends, and my thoughts go out to you all. Sue

Stephanie my daughter is in tears, the brighton accident over the weekend were all people she knew and her best friend gemma was one of them only a teenager herself, what a shame all this loss WHY??? steph has been so happy she had her prom on thursday, and is studying for next months gcse's and now this sandra