General Chat

My ex son in law's sister is getting married and she wants his two children to take part in the wedding ceremony Michael (16) refuses point blank to wear a top hat and tails because he says his mates will say he looks stupid. but says he will wear a white shirt and black trousers as long as he can wear his Rockports Amanda (13) says it is stupid to go for a bridesmaids dress now because she will have grown and she is a lot taller than the rest of the wedding party so she will look silly She also told her aunt and her grandmother that she can't see the reason for having a fancy wedding when they have lived together for the past 4 years and during this time she has had a miscarriage and he has left her twice and it's a waste of money Her grandmother thinks it is their mother and myself who have been telling her to say this but we didnt know about the wedding until she told us Have any of you had a similar problem and how did you solve it Bren

Hi Bren my daughter wed 3 yrs ago, all the males family sides wore matching tails [not top hats,] as a few weren't keen,my youngest son was 16, the 2 bridesmaids and the brides dress were bought the year before,in pronuptia and i paid monthly, 2 months before the wedding the fittings started,and all 3 needed adjustments,youngest bridesmaid daughter 13yrs and they all looked lovely on the day, maybe due to the divorce they are feeling disloyal to mum, to look as if they really want to do it, they appear to have strong views by the comments they have made, and may not believe this is right for a marriage to go ahead due to the bride and groom having continuing problems, so it would be a waste of money. i can see there point, do the 2 kids really want to go to this wedding ,have they been asked or just told they are going?? hope some of this helps sandra

Brenda, They seem to know their own minds- and are not little children so probably best to reach a compromise for everyone's benefit. The girl certainly has a valid point re the marriage! Hope I haven't offended you, Isobel

Bren, Reluctant teenagers are the last thing she needs to be worrying about on her big day. She should find some friends or relatives who want to take part. Isobel, I disagree about Amanda's comments. What does a 13 year old know about relationships? Their situation is probably typical of most relationships nowadays. Crista

Thanks for all your replies Part of the problem lies in the fact tha although they have weekly contact with their father they don't see their grandparents or aunt very often and when they do they are treated as a lot younger children, and teenagers being teenagers they object They do show a loyalty to their mother but they know that she wouldnt object to them taking part in the wedding Tomorrow Amanda is going to look at bridemaids dresses so we will have to wait and see On Wednesday she goes to see the Childrens cardiologist to be assessed if it is now the time for her heart Valve replacement operation Bren