General Chat

I retired in May 2002, from a tied cottage, managed to buy a house in a village, my wife was overjoyed that we would be able to enjoy a long and happy retirment in our very own home, sadlyshe died on 8th December 2002 six weeks after finding out she had lung cancer. I am heart broken but i have learned to cope i still have tearful days, now here is the sad task i have'nt been able to sort her clothes with out falling apart, but i feel i must do it soon or they will get moth eaten and musty any advice how please, i will give them to a charity shop but have been told that some help them selves to the best before putting them on sale, can anyone reassure me on that one or addvise me were to take them, i will read replys sunday evening as i'm going to The Sue Ryder Fete in Peterborough. Many Thanks David

Hi David I'm sorry about your sad news. I can try to offer some practical advice and hope that it helps some. Think about your wife and what she may have done in that situation, if the role had been reversed. Was she cared for by a hospice or mcmillian nurses? Do they have a charity shop near you or is there a cancer research shop near by? Pop in to them ( or phone them ) and when the shop is empty ask them what happens to clothes that are donated. Do they put everything out on the rail or do they send stuff off to other shops? Without asking the direct question you could get a idea of what happens. If you feel strong enough to talk about what you have heard may happen with the clothes, you could say you have heard of it happening elsewhere, not in their shop. Ask what happens to the clothes that don't sell. You don't say how old your wife was. Did she enjoy buying and wearing clothes, did she have a favourite outfit? If so keep something you or she liked. I had a favourite dress of my nan's made into a cushion for my bed and love to look at it and think of her in happy times. ( She wore this dress to my wedding) Another alternative if you are strong enough someday ( or someone would do it for you) is to have a boot sale and donate the money you get to charity. If your wife had evening wear and stuff that she wore on special occasions, you could take this to a nearly new shop where you get a percentage of the selling price and then donate this to charity. This way you can be assured that the items have sold or you get them back if they don't and then you can give them to charity. Another alternative is that sometimes people go out to places like Romania or Afica with lorries full of stuff, you could ask if some of your wife clothes are suitable. Did your wife have a best friend or do you have a daughter that could help you do all this? Don't try to struggle alone when people are only too glad to help if you ask. I aoplogise for the very long answer but hope it helps some way. It's a difficult task but cry if you want to. Maybe your wife would feel happier knowing that her clothes are helping other people than hanging in her wardrobe, but if you are reluctant to part with everything just keep one or two favourite bits. Chin up :-) Deborah

David, When my mum died I could not have done this awful job on my own, have someone with you and talk about the good memories. God Bless Julia

David, I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you have family who understand and can help you with this sad task. Do the council do a recycling scheme with you? Our council gives you a red cross bag and all the clothing, handbags, shoes etc goes to people in need in this country. Anything that is not suitable for use here gets sent to Romania and the like. This way you are able to put everything in bags at once and the task won't drag on for too long. Otherwise, I agree with Deborah, why not just ring the Cancer Research shop in your area and just ask what happens to the clothing? I'm sure they can arrange to collect things from you too to make things easier. Good luck David and don't struggle with this on your own. Pam

Hi David Im so sorry and I know how you feel. My dad died three weeks ago today, and I know that soon I will have to do the same with all his clothes and tools, I would like to donate the clothes to a charity shop but I find it hard to even open the walldrobe at the moment, but the time will come and I know that one day I will be ready. I know that it will be upsetting but maybe in a small way it will help us both come to terms with our loss. It will be sad, but be brave, and cry if you want to, after all they were our loved ones. Rosie