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Things that go bump in the night.......

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Darren white

Darren white Report 11 Jul 2004 23:18

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club.

Darren white

Darren white Report 11 Jul 2004 23:19

It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise....... BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly... ...It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster......... BUMP........BUMP....... BUMP........BUMP....... BUMP........BUMP........ The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him...... BUMP........BUMP...BUMP... BUMP........BUMP...BUMP... BUMP........BUMP...BUMP... He started to sprint, but so did the coffin sped up too BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..... BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..... BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..... Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, his hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase..... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........ BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges..... The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad. BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet...... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin.......still it came ........ BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ........still it came...... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came...... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........ ...wait for it... ...The coffin stopped.

Daniel

Daniel Report 11 Jul 2004 23:21

Very good. I may have to steal it.

Ernest

Ernest Report 12 Jul 2004 00:27

Very good in the dead of night too. This is true: I was in the army stationedat a place called Norton Manor, about 3mls outside of Taunton Somerset. I had been out to a dance and was returning to camp at about 1am along this narrow country lane no lights. Imagine a young chap of 21 afraid of nothing (me). Well after about a mile down the lane I heard what I thought were footsteps following me along the grass verge. So I stopped and they stopped so I walked and they walked so I stopped, and they stopped. Well this happened several more times so I decided to resolve the issue. I came to a gate (farm type) in the hedge so I dodged into the space next to the hedge, determined to catch my stalker. Suddenly I very near s**t myself as this great big cows head leaned on my shoulder and mooed down my ear. I always carried a torch after that & toilet paper. LOL Cheers Ernest

Sandra

Sandra Report 12 Jul 2004 08:38

LMAO VERY GOOD SANDRA

Helen

Helen Report 12 Jul 2004 08:49

VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD. Helenx