General Chat

I must say, I think your Step-Daughter has every right to expect her Mother to be with her on her big day. My parents are divorced, and my Dad is re-married - to the woman he left my Mum for. When I got married, we all had to compromise in some way. I had to accept that my Dad would want his wife there; my Dad had to accept that some other members of the family were a little hostile towards him and her. My Mum said nothing about my Step-Mother being there ...she was even civil to her, which nearly killed her. We all made little sacrifices which paid off. It was the best day of my life, and a lot of people still talk about our wedding as one of the best and most joyous they have ever been to. We did it because at the end of the day - life is too short (too many cliches Suzy!!) Why not let her even stay the night before. It's only 24 hours and you and your husband have the rest of your lives to enjoy. Your Step-Daughter would be overjoyed, and it would make her day perfect. Yours too, I suspect.

hi this will be confusing, my daughter married 3 years ago, her dad wasn't on the scene and not invited, but my 2nd ex husband was, 3rd ex wasn't. i walked natasha down the aisle big white church wedding and i was really proud. 2nd ex decided to only come to the church,and the day was lovely. on a good note its your step daughters day,her mum will feel awkward and is probably nervous to,i would bite my tongue, relax and there will be so much going on you won't have time to think about it, your stepdaughter is very lucky to have you and dad doing the right thing because you love her so much, i am proud of you in that you will do this for her to make her day the best it can be. It will be ok and you will get through the day just fine, if she picks holes just say well we are happy with what we have. good luck sandra

Judith, thank you!! Unfortunately step daughter sees it as her right to have her mother there on her wedding day. I have this awful feeling to that she will end up getting ready at ours as weel which is going to go down like a lead balloon.

Dear 2nd Wife Your in a terrible dilemma indeed trying to balance the love you have for your step daughter whilst feeling protective against this 'stranger' who has really nothing else in common expect being blood! Biting your tongue may be the best option, but you may not be able to as she will be in YOUR house and she should respect it at so, after all, you wouldn't expect a drive of a car you sold years ago if you saw it in the street would you! What I would suggest is that you make all the effort when she turns up to show her 'where things are' around the house. I bet the layout will have changed some since she went, but even if it has not, you will be showing her that she is the visitor. Your tour only need take a minute or so, but it will set the ground rules. Then you need to relax, and carry on your usual day to day tasks getting involved only when your step-daughter asks. I bet during the day and certainly at the reception you will get more that your fair share of recognition from your SD, even if you do not, you should hold your head up high with the personal knowledge that you care enough to be concerned!! Good Luck

Donna, Step daughter wants her mother to stay at ours the night before the wedding and we have had to say no because it's just not fair on us. I am not wanting to belittle anyone but to use my husbands words.... "I divorced her to get her out the house, there is no way I am waking up to find that money wasted!!" Which made me giggle as you can imagine!! Trouble is is wife 1 doesn't see the things she does as wrong!! She lives in Europe and still had the cheek to ask my husband to organise her flights home for the wedding!! Like she is incapable!! She's 44 not 80.

Lorr.... I've done that one and explained how I feel so he's hopefully gonna make sure I'm not the outsider in my own home. Bryan.... I know I am going to have to bite hard but sometimes it's not that easy when some people around you make you feel like you don't belong. But trust me I will be giving it my best shot!! ;O)

its your step-daughters wedding day..the happiest day of her life.. thats enough reason to make it a perfect day,if that means biting your lip,and drawing blood,so be it. hope you all have a wonderful day.....bryan.

Bless you Liz!! I am so nervous as it will be the first time that I have to be around her in my own home and I so want this to be the best day ever!! Fingers x'd and all that!!

Afraid I can't give any constructive advice - but hope all goes well. Made be a quite word before the wedding day? Good luck Liz

I'm really worried about my step daughters wedding, I am wife number 2 and had nothing to do with why wife number 1 is no longer around. My situ is that wife 1 is coming into my home on the day of the wedding to help her daughter get ready (this was my suggestion but I think they presumed it would be ok anyway) Trouble is it used to be her home and I have this dread that she is going to come in and act like she owns the joint and I will not be able to keep my mouth shut. She has already sent text messages asking my husband for loans and flights etc. which obviously he hasn't done. I have arranged most of the wedding with my step daughter, Wife 1 hasn't been involved at all not even financially so any tips on biting my tongue?