General Chat

Why do people bother putting all their relations on the site and then don't answer emails when someone makes an enquiry. Even when there is a certain 100 percent match with someone elses relative that you know is someone in your tree, you send a message asking to share information and they don't even bother to reply. Very frustrating. I must get about 1 reply for every20 enquiries. Yet go on the message boards and people with like minds are falling over themselves to help. Sorry for the rant...had to get it off my chest.

Quite agree. Why do they waste their money subscribing!! and waste our time and hope! Joy

Lots of us on here say the same. I don't know why they are in GC at all. Jo.

I know what you mean Paul,it is sooooo frustrating ,a100% match ,with my lot ,i should be so lucky ,i would take your hand off for info like that .I find that the one,s who say thanks make up for the odd pratt though.Fred.

Paul, Perhaps their subscription has run out, or they just don't bother to come back to the site very often. I always say a big thank you to you lovely people for helping me when I get stuck. Very much appreciate all your help and guidance. Margaret

Hi Paul Sometimes your e mail may not reach them. I have felt the same way myself and always think I will e mail 5 times more ( once a month ) and then no more - it's their loss ( even if I don't 100% believe it I make myself lol) In 2 cases they replied and thanked me for my perseverance as one had been in the process of moving to Spain and another had been attacked by a virus worm on his PC. Be positive - don't think they can't be bothered, think more that there must be a valid reason as to why they have not responded. It's just another genealogist brick wall that needs to be left and you can come back and tackle it again at a later date when you feel stronger : ) Good luck & much happiness Debi

Just write them off Paul as "not worth bothering about" and carry on talking to the other people who will help. I have had so much help from people on this site. I have found 2 second cousins, (one of them has since deleted me from her contacts, but that's her loss not mine!), another distant second cousin (I think, can't quite work out the relationship!), who I will be meeting up with soon. One lovely man in Australia (thank you Mike Reay) has even found my 3 long-lost cousins in Australia who I had never had any contact with, we e-mail each other now and talk on messenger! Don't give up Paul, there is help out there somewhere. Maggy

Oh Paul how i agree with you.... I personally feel this site is full of people who have put their family on the siite biut are not really interested in family history. Like you i send loads iof emails and never get any replies often when i know i have loads of 'stuff' to help them.... You have my vote

I have suggested before but perhaps there could be some sort of symbol that people could put by their name suggesting they dont want to be contacted or one that GR could arrange to put by name if not full member. Or paerhaps non members names could be shown in a different colour. This would save a lot of wasted time. I too have had this problem.

It is frustrating but in the defence of people who don't reply sometimes you don't get the email (it's happened to me and as I don't check my contacts list very often I didnt reply until about three weeks after the person had made contact!) Although it is annoying when people don't reply even to say there is no connection its not always their fault. I know my younger cousin who's 12 has started to put her family tree on her but she's not a member so wouldn't even know if someone had tried to contact her. And I think that she has every right to but her family tree on here even though she doesn't want to pay to have full membership to the site. I'm sure a lot of the people who don't respond don't even know that someone has tried to contact them! Amy x

HI PAUL i hope you feel better now knowing your not alone,i always reply and if i'm stuck for time, i just mail i've opened my tree for you. I hope you find a good connection soon, i always leave it 2 weeks and if no reply i resend with my email address in it, in case their not a full member.and i check my contacts box on here as some people just open their tree without replying and others change there e mail addy and forget to do it on here happy hunting sandra

Hello Paul, Just to show that it CAN work brilliantly, I'm a relative newcomer to this site, so I am still finding out how it works. Anyway, I've had a peek or two at the main names database (which looks really forbidding, unless you know exactly what you're looking for). Yesterday morning I thought I'd give it a shot by trying to find a name link for my great granny, who's the only one in my tree with that particular surname. To my great surprise and delight, I spotted a possible link immediately, same name, remote village in Wales, and approximate birth year. So I bumped off a note to the lady who'd posted the name, and sent it off. Didn't know whether to expect a reply or not, whether she's a regular/ frequent user of the website etc. Anyway, this morning went to check my e-mails, and there in the middle of them was a reply! The person concerned is a fourth cousin once removed, who I never knew existed, born and bred in New Zealand, my children's generation. It seems that my gg father and her ggg granny must have been brother and sister in a large family living on the Marches in the mid 19th century. So there am I. living in my little universe, uncertain what lies outside it, and there is she, in a similar situation, each of us with an enormous amount of information. AND NOW BY CHANCE WE'VE FOUND A WORMHOLE THROUGH FROM ONE UNIVERSE INTO THE OTHER! YIPPEE! Having said all that, I've still had the same frustrations as you from time to time. However, thought I should let you have the good news immediately, to cheer everyone up. It can work! Philip

I was lucky someone did reply to my family tree matches but I have asked for lookups on the boards and I havent had a reply . some people seem to get dozens but I dont get one. And there not complecated requests.

A nice selection of fors and againsts there...well balanced. I'm not as bitter as I started off when I posted the rant. thank you all. Paul