General Chat

Hi Mags, You seem to have the same ideas as myself. My grandson started to smoke (he's 18) and I disapprove, so I stopped giving him money for a good school report, holidays etc. I told him why too. Still no animosity towards me, good friends. I did say that if he booked himself a holiday then he could come round and I'd give him some pocket money. He has now booked a holiday so will expect him soon. A promise is a promise. He is a bit lazy in doing things, his mother and sister always arranging things for him, so we were all pleased that he has booked this holiday himself. Discipline begins at home. I've also used my hand on my children, but we laugh about it now.

Sylvia - thanks for the compliment! My last message made it sound as if I ruled the house with a rod of iron, I didn't, there was no need to. They knew just how far they could go and what my limits were. We had lots of fun too - it wasn't all rules! ( I can play daft games with the best of them!!) I apply the same basics with my granddaughter ( aged 3) she knows Granny's rules and what makes Granny 'cross' and she's a pleasure to have around. She is a joy to take out because we can have fun without her making constant demands for things that she can't have. I may be very old fashioned in my outlook on child rearing but it seems to work. My niece was concerned that she wasn't going to be a good mother when she first had her daughter. I told her that the golden rule as far as I was concerned was to be consistant. It didn't matter if you were consistantly bad or consistantly good, as long as you were consistant, the child knew what to expect - it's the same with rules. Magsx

Mags, What a sensible mother you are. Yes, children need discipline. They are really crying out for it when they're being difficult. I had 3 teenagers at the same time, but I only said "no" when really necessary. Our house was open house to all their friends. No drink abuse or drugs abuse by us. I'd sooner them be at our house with their friends than on the street corner. Sylvia

Hi Sandra I see that your eldest is only just a teenager so you must be tearing your hair out at the thought of years of teenage tantrums!! My only advice is to keep hold of the reins, demand respect and if they don't like it - tough! You are their mother not the other way round. Make house rules and insist that they keep to them. All teenagers think that they are hard done by - if they moan -ignore them (stuff ears with cotton wool if necessary!) If they slam doors - ignore it. If they refuse to eat what youve cooked - let them go hungry (put a lock on the fridge if you have to!). You've already come up with the ultimate punishment - take away their mobile phone! Start early with the first one and the rest will be easy! This may sound harsh and will be very difficult to impliment at first but after a couple of weeks you will have a new teenager and life will be back to normal - promise! My teenagers have grown into well rounded adults and their friends preferred to be at our house than anywhere else so even though I was relatively strict - I couldn't have been too bad lol Magsx

mine r 19 and 17 now and it has got much easier they r great to have around....most of the time lou x

Ann, my three yr old has his testing moments too. Perhaps start a toddler thread!

As I struggle with a tot who has been up since 5.30, is throwing tantrums as soon as you look at her and is generally being difficult, I was hoping it would get easier as she grows. It sounds liket there is not much difference between 2 & 14 year olds!!! Help- what do we do?

Have been writing my experiences down as my three girls now aged 8,11 and 13 have been growing.Most things are easy to sort out until We reached the Teen Years Ug!!! What with a mobile phone almost clued to ones ear 24/7 its like talking in a completely different language.am still logging my experiences but would love someone to occassionally give me some answers that really work.Teens think they are hard done by, mums and dads what do you think? A Tired Mum