General Chat

The thread about childhood seems to show that we are all becoming paranoid about our children's safety.

Children in the UK are safer than almost anywhere else in the world. So why do parents always fear the worst? And is security necessarily a good thing asks Jonathan Duffy? The path to adulthood has always been a rocky one, but these days it seems to be rougher than ever. Drugs, bullies, paedophiles, pollution, allergies and obesity can all prey heavily on the modern parent's mind. So it might come as a surprise to hear that Britain's children are, in fact, very, very safe. According to a new report by the United Nations Children's Fund, Unicef, the UK has one of the world's lowest rates of child death caused by accidents and abuse. In a survey of the 26 most industrialised countries, only Sweden came out better. The study of child mortality rates between 1991 and 1995 found 6.1 children per 100,000 in the UK died as a result of intentional or non-intentional injuries. In the United States the figure was more than twice as high, at 14.1 per 100,000. In France it was 9.1 and Germany 8.3 per 100,000. A question of belief? At last Britain's put-upon parents have something to ease their worries. But how many will take heart from these statistics? How many of them actually believe this is a safe country to raise children? In the aftermath of any high-profile child murder, newspapers routinely scream that our children are in mortal danger. Yet in Britain today, a child is no more likely to be abducted and killed than 30 years ago, when boys and girls tended to roam with more freedom. Of course, parents tend to act on instinct rather than statistics. Michelle Elliot of the children's charity Kidscape recognises the rise of a reality gap between what parents' fear and what is most likely to happen. The media, she says, is partly responsible. "The difference between this country and others is that when a child goes missing and gets hurt, it's front page news," she says. Blaming the media She recalls a survey in 1992, that followed the murder of toddler James Bulger, in which 90% of parents said their greatest fear was that one of their children would be abducted. "The media has probably led to us feeling paranoid," admits Ms Elliot. Clinical psychologist Oliver James controversially advanced the point last year when he accused the tabloid press of exploiting the death of schoolgirl Sarah Payne. Mr James said newspapers pandered to public fascination with such atrocities, even though they were extremely rare. Ms Elliot explains, from a personal perspective, that when a parent contemplates the shadowy threat of a child killer, all reason goes out the window. "As a parent, even though statistically I know that none of my boys would be abducted, it's one thing I cannot control. When they are in my car or with friends' parents, you can take steps to ensure their safety. Faceless terror "But when they are on their own, without an adult, you have in mind a sinister stranger who could come out of the blue." But if this paranoia is being unreasonably stoked, it's not only the media that is to blame. Mobile phone companies market handsets as a way of parents keeping tabs on their nearest and dearest and Tesco has even piloted a scheme for tagging children to stop them straying during shopping trips. However, parental instinct is not totally without foundation. While the paedophile threat may be static, the risk of being killed on the road has, theoretically, shot up. This has been offset by the fact that children are rarely allowed to venture out on their own these days. Ms Elliot also makes the point that as the birth rate has dropped, parents have relatively more time to concentrate on their offspring and contemplate the perils they may face. Over protective But there is growing concern that children are suffering from this mollycoddling. Rospa - the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents - has called for a more level-headed approach to protecting children from harm. Professor John Adams a University College London academic who has examined the role of risk in society, believes we have gone too far in shielding children. The result, he says, is that we are depriving them of learning and valuable life experience. Mr Adams cites school field trips as an example. Legislation designed to protect children has been tightened so much that teachers now often shy away from taking pupils beyond the school gates. Anyone in education is now 35 times more likely to die outside of school or college time than in, says Mr Adams. For some time, he says, we have been at the point where nothing more can be done to protect children on school trips, yet new safety measures are being drafted all the time. "You can," says Mr Adams, "be risk averse to the point of depriving yourself of very substantial benefits." copied from the BBC: http://news.bbc.*co.uk/1/hi/uk/1156063.stm

bob i haven't got down to the thread yet, but is it any wonder that parents are becoming paranoid, in this day and age when you hear so many tragedies. My youngest is now 16 and i have a baby grandaughter and i must admit, i worry about what goes on around us. and on that note my son in law was in prague this weekend and the bomb that went off was where he was yesterday. i really do hope things change to make it safer for all of us. sandra

Bob, I agree to a point, but parents have a relatively new problem to deal with - being accused of mistreating their child if they have a bruise, and the general public and government thinking they have a say in the way your child is brought up. I know of a couple whose child is had wheals on her calves. This was spotted at school, and social services were brought in. Parents interviewed - no they didn't smack their child. Vast reports etc etc. It transpired the child had been wearing wellington boots, which as we all remember, slap the back of the legs if they are a bit loose, causing the marks on her legs. Were there sighs of relief all round? - no. No-one apologised. The child is now on the at-risk register. You let your child climb a tree and they fall, you are an uncaring parent. There are no such things as accidents nowadays, someone is to blame, and the finger is pointed at the people in whose care the child is, be it parent or school - hence the decrease in school trips. When I was a child, from the age of 7 I walked to school with a group of others. I used to walk my children to school until they were 11, not because of any 'stranger danger' but because the teachers passed sarcastic comments about the parents of the children who did walk to school without their parents. I've noticed an awful lot of these 'scares' are created by the media. The scream about children being obese was started by the media using for their example a child with an illness. The government jumped on the bandwaggon. There was a report a few years back about the number of children in certain areas of Britain with bad teeth - Immediately the call comes out to add fluoride to ALL water - no thought of the children with good teeth that will be ruined by an excess of fluoride. Luckily nothing's been done about it yet!!! The world is full of knee-jerk reactionists, no long-term thought goes into anything. I've had my rant Thank you Maggie

While children in this country may be safer here than other countries, It still doesn't mean they are immune from bad things happening to them. I, as we all do, love our kids, and being a parent in this day & age brings not only more responsibility, ie; as said before, a society who throws blame for the slightest thing. But compared to the 70's when I was a young child, more & more gross things are being made public (yes things did happen then but there is more media now & ways to show the world these horrific crimes ect.) We are now more aware of peadaphiles, murderers, rapists, and now terrorism has reared its ugly head. It frightens me as a parent, just what can happen to our kids. Do you let your kids out & take a risk. You either let them out & worry like mad, or keep them inside & feel guilty, that your children are missing out on growing up experiances. I fortunatly live in a kind of square of houses, with a green in front of us. This year I have allowed (reluctantly) to let my 5 year old daughter play out when her friends are out. I sit quite near a window & am forever peeking out. My 9 year old son in 2 years time will attend a secondry school, which is either a bus ride away or a long walk. In the next year I will allow him a little further ( round his friends or down to our local shop ) to prepare him for this. You have to let them have some freedom at a certain point even if you do worry, but it's still terrifyingly worrying as I trust my kids bit not other people ! Elaine x

Bad things happened to children 50 years ago as well, they just didn't get the publicity, not much TV around for a start. I can remember being told not to talk to strange men, not to walk through certain short cuts etc. When i was 13 a local boy of about 19 exposed himself to my friends and i (we didn't even bother to tell our parents - I suspect we thought we wouldn't be allowed out again -. later the same youth was arrested for indecently assaulting a young woman in one of the town alleys in Fareham, the route we took to junior school a couple of years earlier. When my daughter was about 10 she witnessed a man exposing himself in the field behind her school. She didn't tell me but the police called for a statement from her. To my embarassment when asked what she did when she saw him, she said "I went and got all my friends to have a look". Although it is hard, sometimes we have to let children test themselves a bit by giving them more freedom than we want to. Otherwise when the time comes for them to cross busy roads on their own etc they wont cope. Ann Glos

I have two boys, aged 12 and 10. I don't wrap them in cotton wool, but have tried to give them freedom/responsibility when they can cope with it. The greatest danger is probably being run over by a car. I am always astounded by the relentless traffic when I visit my mum, on the road I used to cross all the time as a child. Yes I let them play in the street, we live in a close and I can see/hear them outside. When I first let my older one ride round the block on his bike I told him where various people we knew lived so that he had a house he could go to if he had any difficulties, and to shout his head off if anyone bothered him. They know if they get lost in a shop to either go back to where they last saw me, or to go to the till and tell the shop assistant they are lost. Of course if I do lose one of them I panic, but panic is an emotional reaction which has nothing to do with the likelihood of anything happening to them. As to my own childhood, I regularly used to walk across a relatively non-overlooked recreation ground and through woods, which I wouldn't do today! I also remember going to see a St Trinian's film when I was about 10 with some friends. One of them pointed out a man at the end of our row of seats, who she said kept looking at her. He was wearing a raincoat and fiddling with his lap - or so I thought! I told her to ignore him and we didn't tell anyone. It's only years later that I realised what was really going on. Of course there are dangers, but most people want to help and protect children. We don't want to put them off because someone will think they are a pervert. H

did you watch the programme about the phidophilles on bbc1 about three months ago about them.noticed that they were put into my area which what i could tell was on an estate in eastney hampshire which has alot of children housed on there.also i read in my local paper that there are over 1500 known sex offenders living in hampshire which is one too many in my eyes.why are parents paronoid?thats why.when i was 11 back in the early 80's me and two of my friends were nearly lured away by a man who made out he was on his own but had an accomplice who was in a car and was trying to lure us into this car.luckily we knew what was going on but they were picked up a week later trying to lure another child into their car.all we have to do is read the papers to see more and more children are being failed by this country due to the sex offenders register only been allowed to be seen by officials and not to the parents who could warn there childern and protect them.law should be changed.

I can,t remember having many problems as a child as regards over zealous councils or weirdo,s living in the street ,but it is on the increase ,there is no doubt about it. when out with the grandbairns i watch them every minute as to what they are doing and who is near them at any time .I tend to do the same around my street ,watch the local bairns playing ,more so after we found out that one of these weirdo,s was living in our street[now gone] but i,m afraid if that,s being paranoid ,then so be it.These days ,you can,t be too careful.Fred.