General Chat

my youngest Louis who is 3 has cerebyl palsey and he has it in his legs that makes his legs a little funny and he looks like he is more pigeon toed more then anything and while at the shops today someone said why does he walk funny i said he has cerebyl palsey and they said oh he is a spastic i just wanted to cry but i waited till i got home why are people so cruel,he is a normal happy 3 yr old who talks eat s has temper tantrums like anyother kid his age he just walks funny why do people be so cruel

Kylie,there are some really stupid and thoughtless people around. Take no notice of them, they dont deserve any energy being spent on them with you getting angry. They are the ones who are so called 'spastics'. Im sure Louis is a gorgeous little lad. Sheila x

Kylie. Some people can be so insensitive not thinking of another persons feelings. Try not to worry about it. Luv Jo.

Some people are SO IGNORANT, I'd just put it down to that. Your little'n is special to you, so just be ignorant to them people who are rude.

i know people just dont think even a year after being told he has it i still cry but to me he is louis and i love him so much he is special and he is due more botox in october which will help his legs even more

so sorry bout other peoples nasty coments bout ur lad just ignore them and dont let them get udown im sure he is a lovely lad and i can tell he is much loved by you take care lou xx

Kylie.. Perhaps the person involved didn't intend to be hurtful or rude. Unfortunately the word spastic has been misused in more recent times, especially by young people, and has come to be regarded as a term of abuse, when it previously never was. The Collins English Dictionary's definition of spastic is actually "a person who has cerebral palsy". I'm sure there was no intention of the person concerned, especially if they were of a different generation, to upset you in any way. Dee x

Hi, I'm so sorry you have been upset. How old was the person who said that to you? They may not have realised that spastic is not an acceptable term anymore. Older people will have grown up in a time when spastic was the "correct" term for those with CP. There was a charity here in the UK called the Spastic Society who only changed their name to Scope comparatively recently. I blame those who used the word as a term of abuse in the first place. Try not to put down to malice what could well be ignorance. Gwynne

the person who said it was in her 40s maybe and i know it is what they call peopel with cp i know i got a letter from the childrens hospital saying he has an appoint at the spastity clinic ? but when we were kids it was a word used to be cruel and it just upsets me when they use it on louis just an over protective mum i suppose

Kylie, I know it's hard but try to ignore them. They are just ignorant and rude. I used to work in a centre for people with severe cerebal palsy and on day trips etc I used to over hear people say the cruelest things. They're not worth upsetting yourself over, at least you have a gorgeous little boy, they are the ones who are stupid and ignorant. Hope you feel better soon. Amy x

Hi Kylie I know how hurtful it can be. You have to try and rise above it, or if you can put them straight, not always easy. My 17 year old has learning problems. Right from birth we noticed a big difference to our other daughter. Everything was in extreme. Diagnosed ADHD a while back but we believe there is more to it than that. In our case she doesn't look disabled so people used to think she was just naughty and out of control, very upsetting. So called friends I used to visit with my older daughter didn't want you in their houses because she was into everything. To us she was discriminated against at school because other disabled children would get help on trips etc., ours was generally just left to it and quite often told she couldn't go as they wouldn't be responsible for her. Not a nice situation Diane

oh kylie it beggers belief why people are so cruel.its beyond me its bound to have upset you because you are a caring loving mummy . just try to ignore people like that,they arent worth it. my mum was also upset about a remark made about me i was born with a malignant birthmark on my left thigh,as i grew ,that grew! by the time i was 2 it covered my whole thigh.they operated(12 times) by doing skin grafts and plastic surgery. mum was asked why she hadnt given me up for adoption and why she allowed me out without covering me up! it was only on my leg for gawd sake:( i still get stared at now if i wear short skirts.i wont go swimming either i am very concious of it adults are the worst!!!!!! you will find that your son will be fine take care susie

my son has epilepsy he has beed discriminated against lots however it has made him strong but also he just brushes it off wish i cud even a much loved member of my own family said something bad but kris has epilepsy hes not ill hes not stupid he just at times has fits (only wen asleep) he went to college he works he drives he is a normal teenge lad who enjoys life and has lots of friends and a good social life

Kylie, Please remember this- God picked you specially to be Louis' mother. One special person for another. The person who was rude would never have been chosen. sometimes people who are very insecure say things to others because just for a few minutes it gives them a feeling of superiority. We are hurting for you too. God bless you both.

People can be so cruel Kylie, most of it though is through not understanding. My Ellie had Down's syndrome, and one of my aunts actually said it was better she had died as she wouldnt have had a decent life!! People are often unable to understand that being 'disabled' in this day and age does not have the stigma it once did. Whatever is 'wrong' doesnt make anybody any less of a person. Louis is your son, and you are proud of him. That is the way it should be, and is all that matters. Ignore the crass comments! Sue

kylie i absolutely hate that word.you find that people will say things without asking what his condition is.i think you would prefer it if people came up and asked you what your nephew has.i think calling him that then asking you about it would upset you more.xxxxxxxx

Kylie - some people just have no idea. Louis is your son - therefore he's special. I know it's easier said than done but just try and ignore them. Kim x

I think that terms such as spastic and mongolism have only become politically incorrect, however, surely they are simply a shorthand way of describing a condition. Deaf has become "hearing impaired"; blind has become "partially sighted"; mentally retarded has become "learning difficulties". And so on. Why. As a child I had a stammer which lasted well into adulthood and still affects me slightly now. I don't mind it being called a stammer or stutter. I have never referred to it as a speech impediment and don't see why other people should dictate to me what I or anyone else should call my condition. Oh, and my brother in law has what you call Downs syndrome.

Kylie, I am so sorry the condition your son has was referred to in this manner. I am a wheelchair user and have been since birth. I am in my 30's now and have heard people call me all sorts of things. In fact a relative of mine still refers to me as Handicapped. I am not handicapped and will correct anyone who tells me I am. I once went on a Water Sports Weekend. I was asked by one of the organisers what I would like to be reffered as: Disabled or Handicapped. I told them to refer to me as Fiona as that is my name. I know it is easy to say, but please dont let these old fashioned ignorant people get to you. Children pick up on these things. Just laugh it off, return the question, like "Why do you have.....? If you want to keep in contact, please just send me an email. Fi

Hi Kylie, I always think that a parent who has a little child with a condition such as your little boy must be a very special person to have been blessed with a special little boy like your son.If other people are so blinkered by outward appearances then it is their ignorance and their problem.My mum is disabled all her life and recieved no end of comments but I was always so proud of her and it didnt stop her having a wonderful marriage and three children,five grandchildren and fostering 20 or more children.Hold your head up high and let it all wash over you,he must be a smasher because his mum is! Love,Fee B x