General Chat

Just wondering for those wiser and more experienced of you how soon you should start planning a wedding. Some of you that read my rather over excited message on Friday will know that I got engaged. Is there an amount of time you should probably wait before you start planning?! Don't know if it seems a tadge sad and desparate to want to start planning it after two days! We are planning on the lenght of the engagement to just be as long as it takes to plan the wedding (none of that being engaged for ten years stuff!) but just don't know if it's jumping the gun abit to start planning immediately! Also don't want to scare the hell out of my boyfriend, wait, fiance! Amy x

Congratulations Amy! I wasn't here when your engagement message was posted. It depends on what sort of wedding you want as to how long it will take to organise. Churches tend to get booked up quite a way in advance, especially at 'popular' times like the height of summer. You also want to give yourself plenty of time to choose outfits, flowers, photographers, etc. It's going back 20 years I'm afraid, so I'm sure someone who married more recently will give you more up to date advice, but we were engaged for about 14 months and we found it just right as regards organisation. Good luck for the future! Mandy :)

Hello Amy, Warmest congratulations to you and the lucky chap! This is a matter of personal choice, but I certainly understand what you mean about not having to wait for 10 years! Things to consider are how long you want to wait (or are prepared to wait) before getting married; what kind of wedding you'd like and how long in advance that needs to be booked; what other things you may want or need to do first (such as buying or renting a house, arranging mortgage etc, or getting or changing a job etc, etc). For example, if you'd like a full summer wedding with church, bridesmaids and all the trimmings, you're probably too late for this year. If you want to book certain events, you probably need to book anything up to a year in advance. If, however, these aren't priorities, you can do things much sooner. My own track record? First time round with the youthful love of my life, we were engaged in March, and mothers in law elect quickly had the event booked for August to have rellies home from Canada on hols, arrange the particular church, get best weather (as we always do in English summers! lol!) etc. Second time around, arranged at about 3 month's notice, with lots of friends and rellies. Third time around(!), 3 years ago, arranged at four weeks notice, to fit it in before my impending early retirement a fortnight later. Consequently, only six friends/ rellies invited, but we're planning a big service of blessing and party next year to coincide with my big 60! Hope this all helps, but strongly advise you stick to the one husband only formula, if at all possible! lol! Good luck, Philip

Thanks Mandy and Philip! Think I can justify starting planning asap! Didn't realise there was so much to organise! Think I might have to let my mum take over! I'll see my role as more of Creative Director rather than getting your hands dirty, having a heart attack over the preparations organiser! Surely this is what mothers do best!? Amy x

****************CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS****************** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Amy~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I would firstly decide what month you want to get wed. Popular months need things booked well in advance to ensure you get what date you want Decide where, & book church/registary office/ect. Then decide on a reception venue. Best start looking now. ************************************************ once you know where & when the wedding will be:- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ decide on bridesmaids ect. start looking at outfits. colours ect. Buffet or sit down meal, start going through your options. cars flowers cake Photographer. Rings Guest list Disco/band ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ one tip is to ask friends and family to reccomend photographers, caterers, discos, ect you can even post a request on the boards to see who has had good value/nice service in your area. Good luck to you both Elaine x (married 11 years on 21st August) People been in jail for less lol.

Hi Amy Warmest congratulations,,, I have just been through all this with my eldest daughter,in june...who ,,i might add has just announced that I am to be a granma again next year,,!! Anyway,,,a good website we used was 'confetti'.com. They have lots of good ideas on there,,,even if you dont buy their stuff. Choosing a theme for the weeding is a good idea,, my daughter had pale blue,, HAVE FUN..!! CLAIRE

Hi Deb, Well we both live in Newcastle at the moment (went to uni up there) but we're both from Yorkshire so we'll def be getting married there. I really want to get married at my church at home(Garforth, which is kind of halfway between Leeds and York), so fingers crossed it will be there! How lucky are you knowing someone thats got married recently! I'm the first out of all my close friends and no-one in my family has recently except me cousin and she went abroad to get married! Very jealous!! Amy x

Amy Congratulations on your news! As for when to start planning, well its never too early for a girl to start looking into weddings, lol. If you have a date in mind, and a venue, book it as quick as you can, then the rest will fall in to place. Oh and the other essential thing...keep us girls informed all the way LOL. Good luck Yvette

Amy Depends on how much you have to plan and whether where you want to get married is likely to be booked up. Don't ask me - my man and I never got officially engaged. We lived together for 13 years and then after we'd booked a holiday to Portugal decided to turn it into our honeymoon and so I trolled along to the register office about a month beforehand to book it. Husband booked a restaurant for the wedding breakfast. We only invited immediate family. Sent out invitations to our celebration party to our friends on postcards from our honeymoon. nell

amy just enjoy the fact that you are engaged.then i would give it a year then start planning.xxxx(:

Amy, First thing to do if your mum still lives in Garforth is ring the vicar of the church and see what dates he has available.Then decide where you will have the reception and make a rough list of the people who you will invite. There are a few books "WEDDING ETIQUETTE" that you can buy from any good book shop the books give all the advice you will need from who buys the flowers to catering and wedding rings. Just enjoy the planning and YOUR SPECIAL DAY. CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN AND JUST ENJOY YOURSELF. Sue

Amy, One small additional point - when you're booking your photographer, get someone who does video as well. My last time round(!), 'cos there were so few people there, we fixed up a video bod, so that we'd have the video of the service to show missing friends and rellies later. He did a superb job, and also recorded loads of still piccies as well, so that we had both kinds of record to look back on. Philip

I really don't think there are any rules on these things - as you can see, everyone is very different! We got engaged at Xmas but didn't do anything else until the October when we booked the Reg Office for the following June (we both kinda wanted a church do but being quiet types we thought we might faint - jointly - at the altar!!). It was a real family job - my aunt made my dress, an old school friend (now a florist) did the flowers and we had the reception at my mum and stepdad's home - so catering was down to mum and anyone else who stayed still long enough to help! For me - it was the perfect day. One piece of advice the photographer gave us (not a friend, sadly, it may have been cheaper!!) - get a decent photo of EVERYONE. It seems morbid to say it but one day some of them will no longer be with us (well, all eventually, I guess!) In the 9 years we've been married its quite amazing how many people we've lost...and it is nice to have the wedding pics of them all. Most importantly - ENJOY EVERY MINUTE!! Planning - the lot!! Love Kim xx