General Chat

Hi Steph, Like Di, it's a long time ago when I worked in England and had 3 women older than I was in charge. My friend and I started our jobs together and worked very hard. One day we went to the loo together, and I saw one of the women look at her watch when we went and when we came back. That was enough for me, I gave in my notice there and then. I knew I was quite good at my job and was confident. Stand up for yourself. Sylvia

you have all made me smile!! thank u -x-x-x-

Excellent advise Anne, thats exactly what I did too. Standing up to them or embarrasing one of them will put a stop to it. They are only doing it because they can, show them that youre not going to continue to take it. Jo

Steph - lots of valid advice and 'learn from' situations here. I know it's hell if you're not happy at work - you dread going in each day. At the end of the day, the people upsetting you are being bullies - and everyone knows that all bullies are cowards underneath, so stand up for yourself, stand your ground and dont take any s**t!! I used to be terrified of a girl I worked with years ago - she would always have a go at me about her 'flexi hours credit' being wrong cos I updated the system - so one day I turned round and told her I was only putting in the information she provided so if its wrong talk to the boss!! Needless to say she was nice as pie to me afterwards, and we actually became very good friends. I guess I earned her respect by standing up to her.......... Give it a go - you'll be surprised how satisfying it can be :) Good luck girl.........xxx

I often find people who are nastly do so to hide their own insecurities. When you have alot of women in the office its often worse (dont know why). Its alot harder when most of them are already friends before you have joined then its alot tougher to become a part of things. I had the same problem 7 months ago when I started working in Local Government. The office had 6 ladies in who had all worked together for at least a year. One person didnt want me part of their little gang and encouraged the others to be crabby with me as well. I ended up explaining how they were making me feel and to my surprise they didnt realise!!!! Since then I have come a long way and they all accept me now and I am part of the team, they all still bitch behind peoples backs but thats life unfortunatly. Hang in there and be strong, let them know (or one of them) word will soon spread. If you want a chat I'll always be around, just send me a message. Lots of Love Jo

Thanks guys, nice too speak to people who understand! I think i will definatley start looking for another job, hopefully one with a bit of a pay rise!!!xxx

Hi Steph, I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time of it at work, I also agree that if you are unhappy at work then you should start looking for another job. I had a job where nobody talked to you unless you were in their "gang". I only put up with it for three months, found another job and have not looked back. I used to wake up in the mornings and dread going to work, I just felt so miserable. Life's too short to be miserable. I'm sure you will find a new job where you will be happy and appreciated. Best wishes, chin up, Ann x x

Hi Steph I have worked in HR for many years and have found that it is usually people who themselves feel insecure, inadequate, lack confidence and so on that tend to try and 'LORD IT' over the junior staff. regardless of the not having qualifications the person who hired you for the job did so knowing you had the right personality and aptitude for the position - so hold your head up high , your a lovely person and go and tell the person who employed you what a rotten deal the BULLY is giving you !! As john asks do please keep us posted. Much happiness Debi

Hi Steph I spent two years in a job like yours where everyone was really horrible all the time and I hated it. I ended up not applying for other jobs as I thought that it must be my fault and no-one else would take me on. Last April things were so bad that my hubby told me that he would support me if I handed in my notice. We worked out that we would just about manage if I got some kind of job. I got a part-time job at a supermarket within days of handing in my notice then two months later (once I had all my confidence back) I applied for my dream job and got it! I now have a better job which pays more and I work with nice people. Keep your chin up and remember its not your fault and if it starts to take a toll on your family life (or with your friends) its not worth it. Somewhere there is an employer looking for you! Lots and lots of luck Lynne

Keep us all posted! Qualifications are important, but so is experience, confidence and desire. Get a better job: one that is perhaps closer to home or that you are more interested in.

i have definatley been thinkin of doing that but my boss is way two faced, and we dont have any HR people here. I think your right and i will have to start looking elsewhere...i just feel stuck as i am only an assistant and have no qualifications! its awful though isnt it, the way people can be so nasty for no reason!

Are there any postive steps you can take? Keep a diary of what happens and then report it to someone in authority; look for a new job etc? It sounds bad!

no at work, i work in an office in London, i work so hard and help everyone(although its my job to) always smile, im polite, and yet i still have to constantly walk on egg shells. i dont see why people think they have the right to make me cry, im not even that sensitive.

Where do you work Steph? Or do you mean this site?!

are people so nasty, i have been working at my current job for 6 months now and this is the 3rd time someone has been so horrible to me i have been reduced to tears, ive had enough!