General Chat

As mentioned previously on other threads my sister was killed on the 1st of July 1979 whilst pregnant - her baby was due on the 13th of July 1979 which ended up being their funeral day. Now as this happened abroad and my brother in law won't give us any info we could never find out if the baby was a boy or girl. Also, we were told the baby lived for a while then died - this may not be true. Shouldn't the baby have a certificate? I tried the GRO (I think that's what it's called) and paid £11.50 but they said there is no trace of a child. If I contacted the church where they are buried would it say on the records boy or girl? We have wondered for years about this poor little baby and my mother would dearly love to know if it was a little boy or girl. Sorry this is such a long posting and I would appreciate any advice. Lorraine xxx

Hi Lorraine, I'm sorry that I'm unable to help in any way - only wish I could! - but I do hope that someone on here will be able to give you the advice and information you need. I really hope that you find the answers you are looking for. Best wishes, Mandy x

Hi Mandy Just about to go when I saw your kind message. Thank you so much. Love Lorraine xx

Oh Lorraine, what a terrible thing. You said it happened abroad - where? Were they buried in the UK? Have you tried to contact your brother in law recently about it?

Try calling the church, they should be able to tell you who was buried in the plot! It may be if the child was never registered then it would not have a certificte, but I hope you find out, it must be dreadful for you!!

Hi John - my sister was killed in a car crash in West Germany (her husband was in the army). My brother in law refused to tell us about the baby saying it was of no concern to us! Also, the army paid for mine and mum's flights (it's a long story but they told us she'd had an accident and she was fine, then they said the baby had died but my sister was ok, then later on it was well actually she died over eight hours ago) and my b-i-l tried to block our flights. We visited him in the hospital and we never held anything against him yet he refused my mother permission to see my sister. Apparently, we didn't know this at the time, but the grave my sister and the baby were buried in also contains a male relative of my b-i-l. It took us over ten years to put her name on a headstone as the family would not give us permission. Like Diana says it is perhaps best to contact the Church. Lorrainex

Hello Lorraine, I am sorry for your loss and pain. I'm not clear whether the burial was in UK or not but another source of help may be S.S.A.F.A. as there must have been Army documentation of these events. If the baby was born alive, the birth must have been registered before a death certificate was issued prior to burial. It will be in the overseas section with births of other service people. Perhaps SSAFA can help you by being a go-between for you and the Army.

Thankyou Gwyneth, I never thought about asking them. The burial was in the north of england - the army actually flew her and the baby over here thankfully. Some people will wonder why I am doing this now but for years I have wondered and never really knew what to do about it. I have seen how helpful people have been on this site and thought I would give it a go. Sadly at the time we had no real help as her husband was classed as next of kin and we had no say in anything. We never wanted the burial so far away from us (we lived in Lincolnshire). Just after mother's day we visited the grave and someone had left flowers on it which made me wonder about the baby. We haven't a clue as to who put the flowers on as in all the years since the burial we have only ever seen flowers from someone else on there the once. Lorrainex

Please write to the church. Am sure they would have a record. Please let us know how you get on. Thinking of you. Joy

hiya sorry i cant help you only wished i could good luck xx

Thank you Joy and Sandra for your kind thoughts. I will write to the church and hopefully find out once and for all. Lorraine x

Lorraine - what an awful thing to have happened. I can totally understand your need to know the baby's sex... Hope you get your answers - the very best of luck and lots of love Kim xx

Thank you Kim. Yes it woud be lovely to know so I could refer to the baby as my niece or nephew instead of baby all the time. I know if it had been a girl my sister was going to name her Jennifer Louise so I tend to always think of the baby as a girl. Lorrainex

Hi Lorraine, That is all so sad, I hope you and your family can find out all you need to know. Thinking of you. Love and best wishes Lynda

Thank you Lynda - your kind thoughts are much appreciated. Lorrainex