General Chat

feeling a lot more positive today. My daughter is going to do the law gcse with me next year. And... spoke to the lawyers who did the legal work on this house, he is going to send her a letter outlining she cannot move the fence onto the boundary it has to be on her side. Also asked me for photos, when I got some off the computer we have taken over time, It clearly shows the fence posts she insists are her boundary are in fact in our garden. The posts are on our side and what was left of the old fence is pointing her way, all clearly visible within our land. Hooray something going right for us at last. Diane

Well I've calmed down a bit now, felt really bad for a while. I've got to let it go or my health will suffer. It will be something else after that. I'm not going to let her intimidate me any more. I really feel quite determined now to do that GCSE next year. I can spend time in between reading up. Take my mind off that person. I want to thank everyone for their kind words. Dianexx

Diane, I really feel for you. We used to have a lot of trouble with kids outside of our house and it used to really depress me. I really hope you get some help from somewhere soon. Your neighbour sounds an absolute nightmare. Love Lorrainexxx

I'm ready to explode I'm sitting here nearly in tears. She is doing my head in. She's probably sitting in there laughing. She has put the blame for this all on us because we reinstated the fence. I've got to stay in this house the next two days as my husband is on days and has the car. Diane

diane, i am really sorry you are going through this, i do hope it sorts itself out shortly. the idea to record everything is a good idea then you have evidence. tracey x

She's now saying that she will put the fence up on the boundary. She's doing my head in Dianex

She's now put a piece of string down our garden to "mark" out where she thinks she's putting the fence. I've just about had enough. Diane

Yes I wonder, no doubt she has done this type of thing wherever she has lived. Trouble now is when we do move if the buyer asks the question re the neighbours, I can't lie. If I did I could be sued. Makes you wonder why you bother really. All you hear and read about are these types of people getting away with it. Diane

As someone has already said, you have two issues here. you wanting to study to learn something and your troublesome neighbour. I did whatw as thn 'O' level law when i was in my 40s and found it interesting and not too difficult. I then followed with a level law (got an E pass) which was much more difficult but which stood me in good stead for interviews when i was working. Panels seemed impressed with the law quals. 15 years ago when we lived in Bedfordshire we have troublesome neighbours, used to open the window which was over our patio when we were sitting there and play very very loud opera, also used to park his car at r/angles behind our son's blocking him in because he didn't like 'his bit of old rubbish' outside his house. It was an old but respectable Golf. His wife used to stick her tongue out at us from the kitchen window which overlooked our drive (yes childish). he also had a shotgun and used to fire at the starlings on roofs, until someone reported him to the police. (He was a NW Bank Manager would you believe). They moved before we did and I often wonder who they are harrassing now. Ann Glos

diane, i am sorry to hear your having such a bad time with your neighbours, have you spoke to your local council, i am sure the new asbo laws isn't just for kids. I know my loal council take it serious. I hope things improve tracey x

i did gcse's in english maths and socialogy a couple of years back at my local college, some day and some evening classes, because i did so many hours it was free. i then did A level in history and psychology on an evening course this year, i am now starting student nursing at uni next week so i will say any studying if you can manage it is well worth it. does your local high school have adult classes because these are quite often discounted. i hope you get sorted

I want to thank you all for the input you have given me on this thread. Feeling a bit fragile at the moment as you can probably tell!!. We have lived here four and a half years and it's been one thing after the other almost the whole time. I could write a book, if it was in a soap you wouldn't believe half of it. Trouble is she is vindictive and we don't have any idea how far she would go to get back. Our car was vandalised costing us £275 in excess. No proof it was her, but happened over two days after we had the cheek to park outside her house. She thinks she owns the road too. If she can't get outside her house she'll park on the bumper of any car that does if she can, she has even been known to park at right angles to the kerb,boot paralell to the path, if there isn't enough space. The husband is 30 years younger, always in trouble with the police, been in and out of prison. He was seen having a go at tyres of a car left outside there a little while back. She bought him back from a boys home in rumania, after working out there for a church. Married him when he was 18 she was 47. Obviously thought she could keep him under control, likes to be in charge , that's when the problems start when she doesn't get her own way. We have been doing improvements to our house and garden so it's probably eating away at her and thats why she's demolishing the fence leaving it an eyesore and winding us up with the animals. We will never win with her so prefer to keep ourselves to ourselves unfortunately she won't do the same. I don't see why I should be intimidated to let her walk all over us. I spoke to a lawyer monday. He said she can't just decide to move the fence over our side more, which is what she is trying to do, she has to prove it's correct first. She did the fence before we moved in and when it fell down about three years ago repaired it the same. It's just anything to wind us up. The neighbour the other side has had trouble with her too. He had to get the environmental health involved when she got a cockerel, it was going off day and night. Anyway I could go on forever, that's just a bare insight really. Thanks once again Dianex

Hi Diane, I've been reading your thread with interest. Seems to me that you've got 2 separate issues going on - firstly what to do about your neighbour and secondly what to study to get yourself into the workforce. I have a law degree and can tell you the following - a course isn't going to give you the tools to deal with your neigbour. Every course, basic or advanced, is too general to deal with those issues quickly enough or with enough specialization. If you want to do your own finding out to deal with the neighbour yourself, you'd be far better findind a decent 'how-to' book in the library. There's a whole series of them for people who want to deal with legal issues for themselves, like using the small claims court, making a will, dealing with harrassment (which this is) etc etc. I'm afraid I can't remember the name of the series at the moment though. It might also be an idea to call a lawyer for a free telephone consultation too. Lots of lawyers will give you some free advice over the phone if you ask. If your husband is on a low income, you just might get some legal aid too, though I know that has changed a lot recently. If you're interested in the law, and want to do a course, great, but it won't initially help you with your neighbour. Donna's advice was spot on in regards to books and stuff though. She was also right on the ball when it comes to the dog - and all the other animals. Put up your own fence if you need to. Your neighbour is entitled to take down her fence, but she is obliged to keep her animals contained to her property. Those 2 things are incompatible, but the obligation to keep her animals contained is the greater. (If the boundary was her responsibility and you had animals it would be up to you to confine your animals/put up a fence if she refused to do so.) You don't mention what other form your neighbour's 'mind games' are taking, but I really think you could do with some legal advice from a lawyer who specializes in neighbour disputes and it is there if you look for it. If the first lawyer you call won't talk to you just call another until you find one that will. You'll find a helpful one eventually. Honest. :-)

Oh Donna, That's really sweet of you. I tried an OU course about 10 years ago but it was too much for me at the time, definately not something that they then said anybody could do whether they had studied or not........ I live in Harwich so a bit the back of beyond, lived in Colchester for 18 years before moving here, biggest mistake of our lives. But we are stuck for now so have to make the best of a bad thing. Neighbour is now kicking up over the back fence. It's hers and shes started demolishing it. Fine but she has dog,chickens,cats,ducks. Hubby came home yesterday morning and the dog was running all over the garden. It's just to get a reaction, the latest in a long line of mind games. Totall fruit loop, unfortunately. Thanks again, may well take you up on your offer. Dianexx

Thanks Donna, Whatever I decide to do its going to be expensive. OU is around £1550. This GCSE is around £150 for the college plus whatever books etc., I may need. I did several family history courses at the college, during the day. When I started they were £40, the last one I did had gone up to around £50, they are now over £70. Everything is so much dearer than it was a little while back. A friend of mine did a degree with OU and she is a lot more with it than me and said it was a very lonely way to study and she had her full time job for the social side. I have a while to think about what I will do as it's too late for this term. Dianexx

Thanks for all your views. My local adult college has a course, but it's on a thursday evening, my husband works more nights in his shifts so it isn't ideal, I've no one to help with the children. My 17 year old daughter is special needs. I have tried the various agencies for help with these problems re neighbour no joy. CAB yesterday, planning last week, environmental services, you name it.... It won't stop it's just one thing after another. I need an outlet as it's all getting me down. Haven't really got any qualifications and feel my life is going and I've nothing to aim for (only 43 but feeling 20 years older at the moment). I thought if I did the GCSE it may prove to be something to get me started to get back to work. Haven't worked in over 20 years. Been a stay at home mum to my three. But I feel now I have got a brain and want to use it!! I need confidence building. Even went to jobcentre yesterday to get my daughter a disibility living allowance form, and asked about myself as to courses to get back into work. Guess what?? Because I am not a single parent and my husband works (not a great wage!) I can't get anything, she suggested evening classes. Brilliant eh!! Thanks Dianex

Hi I took Law A level in 6th form, at the end of the first year you had to do the O Level - and I failed it miserably - found it a very hard subject to study. If you have a specific concerns that you'd like to be able to address, I'd suggest a trip to the citizens advice bureau instead ! Paul

Didn't know there was a GCSE in law..My son is just starting a law course at college. Pat

Can anybody help me on this. Have any of you done one. If so what's your opinion. I've had a lot of grief with a neighbour over the last few years and after this last lot of rubbish I'm thinking about doing this gcse to aqquant(?) myself with workings of the law. Not the only reason but something I'm interested in. Any help please. Diane