General Chat

My partner divorced his ex wife because there was a question of unfaithfulness on her part. They have 2 lovely children now teenagers and we have them every other fortnight. He lost the home and all contents and was left with not a pot to p*** in. Pardon my french. We have been together for 3 yrs and I find that his ex still felt she could control. It has got better but wondered if others had problems or advice. Patx

thankyou Donna, much appreciated :)

Hello Eyes slighty different scene here....... I left my husband when my daughter was 4 mths old. He showed an interest until just before she was two. Then as i was moving in with someone he refused to pay me any more. He didn't see why i should get two lots of money ( i never worked out that one either). I told him if he didn't pay he wouldn't see her. His reply????? If he didn't have to pay he didn't care!!!!! This suited me fine, i maintained contact with his mum ( i didn't feel she should suffer ) The someone i moved in with is now my husband, who for the past 20 yrs has supported my child as his own. His family have accepted her as their own etc. The only respect he isn't her father is biolocigally. Now suddenly as my daughter nears her twelth birthday her dad has started to show an interest, threatening court etc WHY??????? very simple really........ She is going to a good school. That makes him look good. She is of an age where she can see for herself what a loser he is,so he buys her stuff trying to buy her love and attention. Am pleased to say Kel has a very sensible head on her shoulders, and reaps all she can from him, but totally ignores him the rest of the time. I personally wish he was drop off the face of the earth and stop making waves for everyone

Hi Shelli, I agree totally that grandparents, aunties uncles etc should still always have the contact, and the children should come first and not be used as a tool to get at one another. In our case the kids still see all sides of the family. I feel for my partner who is hurt by all this game play, there are a lot of dads out there who have lost a lot through no fault of theirs and the sympathy does tend to lean to the mother and not always rightly. Every case is different and you have put your child first and it appears you have a bright level headed lass who is not daft and sees whats right and whats wrong, well done. Pat x

Pat yes i am lucky with kel she is very mature. I'm just cross that he's come out of the woodwork now she's doing well for herself. He wants the credit without putting in any hard work GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Shelli, At the end of the day, you and your partner and Kel are the family and your ex is the outsider. His loss. Hopefully he will come to realise what he has lost too. (I know what you mean when you go GRRRRRRRRRRRRR) you could just smack um up and down the high street and back again. (I could) Pat x

Andrea, I dont know how you put up with that, except to say you are the one to show more parenting skill than the mother. Makes you wonder. It does me. Pat x

I am the 'ex'. My husband left me and our 2 children aged 3 and 6 to set up home with his 'friend' and her 2 children. He had access every other weekend, paid me minimal maintenance for 3 years, went to Australia (on his own) came back after 2 years. Hasn't paid me a penny since. It really irked me that the CSA took into account his wife's earnings. as far as I was concerned it had nothing to do with her and I didn't want her money. In the 18 years we have been divorced, he has bought a house, left his second wife, bought another house - and all the time claimed poverty. He owes me at least £60.0000 in maintenance - the price of his first house!! I have never denied him access - his children have a right to see him - preferably warts and all. In fact, we are friends now - I'd rather be in my position than that of his present girfriend - and I have been invited (by both of them) to their house for xmas - I don't think it's to gloat - nothing to gloat at!! If it's any consolation, when our girls were young, the sun shone out of their dad's backside. Now they're grown up - 21 and 24 - they still love their dad and accept his faults, but don't like what he did to us, and occasionally remind him. lol As long as his property goes to our children I won't complain, but he has to put up with being referred to as 'the tart' - to his face lol Maggie

my ex was unfaithful when i was 4 mnths preg with our now 2 yr old son i found out & kicked him out but he still think's he can tell me what to do & where the kid's are allowed to go im now in another relationship now & very happy