General Chat

There once was a girl named Irene, Who lived on distilled kerosene But she started absorbin' a new hydrocarbon And since then she's never Benzene! I once took our vicar to tea, It was just as I thought it would be, His Rumblings abdominal Were simply Phenomenal And everyone thought it was Me. There was a young lady named Harris Whom nothing could ever embarrass Till the salts that she shook In the bath that she took Turned out to be plaster of paris. There once was an old man of Esser Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all And now he's a college professor. There once was a man called Reg Who went with a girl in a hedge Along came his wife With a big carving knife And cut off his meat and two veg. There was a young lass from Australia Who painted her ass like a dahlia The shape it was fine and the colour divine But the aroma -- well that was a fahlia.

There was a farting contest coming to town and people came from miles around the first fart was extremely loud the second fart pleased the crowd the third fart, the judges cried "He pooped his pants, he's disqualified!"