General Chat

no i have experienced it, and yes it was with a complete stranger.so i do know whati am talking about and the risks that are associated to it.all you have to do is go into a S.T.D clinic and ask some of them how they caught their S.T.D.i know all stories are different but the hard facts are that some of these innocent partners have had this experiencexxxx(:

Lisa, sorry, that is a very 'black and white' comment. Not all affairs are with strangers, the risk of disease can be assessed individually. I am not condoning multiple affairs, then there would be a risk, but, until you have experienced the situation it is very easy to say that you would finish the relationship. and failing once doesn't mean that they would do it again. People can change and people deserve to be given the chance to make amends. ann Glos

i don't think i could ever have a physical relationship with a man that has indulged in sexual activity with another women.what about disease aswell.the person that has been faithful could be put at risk by the partners urge to have sex with another person which sometimes could be a complete stranger.i find that if a partner ever done that they are selfish and irrisponsible and they don't care about the concequencesxxxxx(:

that's a good one.it's only in mind not in body.the pysical side i agree is the same as the mental thoughts .both can be very hurtful.xxxx(:

There is NO excuse for either partner. I would not forgive my wife and I am sure she would not forgive me. End of argument"!!!!

Fancy another angle? Is there any difference between physically committing adultery and purely thinking it regularly about the same person?

i think once a cheat always a cheat.they get a taste for itxxxx(:

steedie i admire you for being honest and not giving in to tempation.if you feel like doing it then i feel that a person should end the relationship before doing it.how can someone look their partner in the face knowing what they have donexxxx(:

That's good talk Ann!

I think it depends how strong the marriage was before and the reason why either spouse cheats. It takesa strong person to forgive and maybe they never forget, but in some cases it can make a marriage even stronger. Couples today give up too easily when they meet problems in their marriages. If the love is there it will overcome betrayal, if remorse is also there. It may take a while but many couples go on to have long happy marriages. Everyone deserves a second chance if they are truly sorry and if the 'blip' was out of character. each case is different, and women are no less likely than men to have affairs. (And not always because they are not shown love and/or affection either.) Ann Glos

just came across this on todays news on yahoo, will not comment on it, just post it as it is Tuesday September 28, 01:48 PM Sorry State Of Affairs For Cheating Brits Almost half the British population has cheated on a partner, reveals a relationship survey. Some 47% of the 25 to 34-year-olds asked admitted to doing the dirty on their other half.And the report showed infidelity was a problem of those in long-term relationships as much as for those just embarking on one. One fifth of those questioned said they had cheated on their current partner, with men the worst at 25% compared with 15% of women. Of those 20%, a whopping 92% confessed to having strayed before. Relate counsellor Paula Hall said: "I'm not surprised by the results. Within that age group, you're still deciding what you want from a relationship. "Although you need to ask what sort of relationship are these people in? Many might be unfaithful because they're not in a committed relationship." Pubs and clubs were cited as the most likely places for people to cheat, with 27% meeting someone else, while 26% got together with an ex-partner. The ICM survey for BBC3 also showed that despite the cheating, 78% of women and 55% of men thought to do so was immoral.

My husband has always said that if I ever cheated on him, he would shake the other bloke by the hand and buy him a pint, because the other bloke wouldve done my husband a favour... Still trying to work out what he meant!!!! LOL Jo

I have been there..... i cheated on a guy i was with for 8 years, after 3 years together, he found out (I told him in my sleep) and he forgave me.... but he didn't.... he went on to cheat for the next 5 years.... and has cheated on women ever since!! I don't condone what I did but I know I was young and unhappy, but I didn't want to leave my partner and be on my own.... if only I had realised back then that being on my own wasn't such a big deal!! These words have made me think twice about it ever happening again!! "if the person you are having an affair with is worth losing everything for, then why are you not with them FULL TIME?"

lisa i'm sorry you know i think the world of you but pauls right, your stereotyping. i know you had a bad time with your ex and i feel for you i really do. but the point is, you cant say a bloke will just go for it if its on a plate. a lot of blokes dont put themselves in that situation in the first place. for example we have a new barmaid in my local who is very attrattive and i told my emma that. when i took emma in the pub she met the barmaid for the first time and the first thing she said was "you must be emma". because i always talk about her. i've seen grown married women behaving terrible at hen nights loads of times! and a kiss to me is as unfaithful as full you-know-what so just a drunken snog when out with the girls doesnt wash! there are some very naughty attached men out there thats true. but there are also a great deal of naughty women too. paul xxx

Dave did know about it, not everything and not at all about how close i was to doing it, but sort of knows, i feel like if he knew it would be just as bad as actually doing it....x

I believe that it can work out. I was with my partner for seven years when I found out about his adultery. We had three children under the age of three years at the time. We split up over it. He lived with this other woman for a short time, before it fazed out because he wanted to spend more time with his kids. I was gutted when we split up, he was everything to me, it upsets me even now, when I think about it. We had been apart for 2 and a half years when he confessed that he had wanted us to get back togther since we split. He realised immediatley that he had made a mistake. (Albeit a HUGE one). I decided that I wanted to make another go of it also. We have now been back together for 18 months and it IS better than before. Giving him another chance was the best decision I ever made! I and my children are happier than ever. This is his one and only chance though. I am prepared to put this behind us, but I won't do it agin. If it happened again, I would not give him another chance. Pa

I think most people have thought about it at one point or another, but the key is to just keep it in though, not deed. Reminds me of another great quotation; "I can resist everything except temptation". Incidentally... been with my wife 14 years, been married for the last 3 of those, never cheated (well I have to say that, she reads the boards too lol)

im gonna put my hands up and say, yes i have been very close to 'having a fling' before, yeah i know im only young, but that doesnt mean me and dave arent as serous as 40 yr olds are. I get all the love and affection i need from dave...i was going to get closer to this fella for just a bit of slap and tickle (sounds awful doesnt it) i know i have probably made myself sound like a slappa but can i assure you im not!!! so not all women will cheat cos they need to be treated better.

Lisa Cheating is cheating be it the man or woman. We all have a voice to say no. My hubby loved his ex wife & did not deserve to be cheated on. Hubby dont buy me flowers & chocolates but he loves me as i love him, doesnt make me want to cheat. If you are not happy with your partner, either sort it out or failing that, split....then you are free to see another person. E x

ahh there's nothing like a good stereotype eh Lisa ?